Has anyone successfully avoided giving their *high school* kids smart phones?

[Anonymous]

Even Amish teenagers have smart phones.

[Anonymous]

You could make them go to the bathroom in an outhouse too but what would be the point?

[Anonymous]

I think sometimes parents on this forum forget that their job is to raise adults, not to protect their kids forever. The high schooler with no smart phone will be the college student who flunks out because they have no ability to self-regulate and manage all of the distractions of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a few families who have done no smart phones in HS. The kids definitely had a different social life, and their sports teams probably found them annoying, but they all read a lot more and were really interesting, smart and accomplished kids.

All of your statements are in past tense. How long ago were these kids in high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

That's irrelevant. Their social life will suffer in HS if they have no way of communicating with their friends over the phone.

+1

Nearly all plans are made via text. If they don’t have a phone, how would their friends even reach them? Do you have a landline? Or expect their friends to call/text you and leave a message? There was a kid or two like that in middle school, but I just don’t see how this would work for a high schooler.

Beyond that, mine use their phones to check grades & get into Google classroom, etc. on the fly. They also use their phones for extracurriculars- for example, my freshman DS uses it for his sport- practice and game schedules are in an app (along with special instructions sometimes- “wear the blue jersey today” “meet in the weight room today instead of the field” “practice will end early today at 4:00”) and so on. These changes are often last minute and I don’t even know how he would find the info without a phone.

I also need them to have phones to keep in touch for rides etc from sports and other extracurriculars and outings. To attend sporting events at our school- like an high school football game for example- all (including kids/students attending) must purchase and show an electronic ticket. No alternative (this one surprised me). They wouldn’t even be able to attend a HS football game with friends, without a phone…

In high school, everything is setup assuming all kids have a phone. It is reality, whether we like it or not…

[Anonymous]

10th grader has a Gabb phone. He is welcome to upgrade to a smart phone when he is 18 and can pay for the service himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to socially cripple your kids, good luck.

Don’t come here crying when yours ends up in suicide watch due to cyber bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

That's irrelevant. Their social life will suffer in HS if they have no way of communicating with their friends over the phone.

+1

Nearly all plans are made via text. If they don’t have a phone, how would their friends even reach them? Do you have a landline? Or expect their friends to call/text you and leave a message? There was a kid or two like that in middle school, but I just don’t see how this would work for a high schooler.

Beyond that, mine use their phones to check grades & get into Google classroom, etc. on the fly. They also use their phones for extracurriculars- for example, my freshman DS uses it for his sport- practice and game schedules are in an app (along with special instructions sometimes- “wear the blue jersey today” “meet in the weight room today instead of the field” “practice will end early today at 4:00”) and so on. These changes are often last minute and I don’t even know how he would find the info without a phone.

I also need them to have phones to keep in touch for rides etc from sports and other extracurriculars and outings. To attend sporting events at our school- like an high school football game for example- all (including kids/students attending) must purchase and show an electronic ticket. No alternative (this one surprised me). They wouldn’t even be able to attend a HS football game with friends, without a phone…

In high school, everything is setup assuming all kids have a phone. It is reality, whether we like it or not…

All of this, 100%. I hate it, but it's the reality.

[Anonymous]

OP- DCUM is not the right parenting forum for this question. The crowd here skews rich and hyper-conformist. You'd be better off trying something more diverse like reddit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OMG let your high schoolers have phones. iPhone preferred.

teenage hands wrote that post. you forgot to add "lastest model."

[Anonymous]

My 10th grader has no phone. He has: friends, a social life, time to read actual books and much more. He has access to all the things dcum says he needs an iphone for. Maybe it's unusual, but that's not my concern. Like a pp said, he can get his iphone when he can pay for it and for service. I've heard from so many parents who said their kids stopped reading and keep their noses in their phones. They regret not waiting longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 10th grader has no phone. He has: friends, a social life, time to read actual books and much more. He has access to all the things dcum says he needs an iphone for. Maybe it's unusual, but that's not my concern. Like a pp said, he can get his iphone when he can pay for it and for service. I've heard from so many parents who said their kids stopped reading and keep their noses in their phones. They regret not waiting longer.

Does he never go to the school football/basketball games? School drama productions?
Like a pp mentioned, at our school the only way to buy tickets to those things are through a phone app.

[Anonymous]

Schools are partially to blame, they'll complain that kids are on their phones too much, they're a distraction, yet they'll make them necessary for everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

Sure but aside from just showing up at someones door, they need to arrange it. Imagine if you could not text friends or family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

Sure but aside from just showing up at someones door, they need to arrange it. Imagine if you could not text friends or family.

But, that really require them to have their own smartphones though?