Has anyone successfully avoided giving their *high school* kids smart phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Most of my 9th graders official school activities use Instagram for all communications. By high school I can’t imagine a kid not having a smart phone.

My fear is the obvious dangers of social media and the internet, but also I don't want my kid stuck behind screens all the time. Also, the more devices the less they have to socialize in person. I can't recreate my childhood, but I'm hoping to give them a little of it.

But if everyone else has a phone who are they going to be socializing with, and how are they making plans?

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

COVID expedited that ongoing downward trend. A lot of kids don’t live anywhere near their classmates, teammates etc. Plus a lot of kids are shuttling between 2 houses that aren’t near each other,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Most of my 9th graders official school activities use Instagram for all communications. By high school I can’t imagine a kid not having a smart phone.

My fear is the obvious dangers of social media and the internet, but also I don't want my kid stuck behind screens all the time. Also, the more devices the less they have to socialize in person. I can't recreate my childhood, but I'm hoping to give them a little of it.

But if everyone else has a phone who are they going to be socializing with, and how are they making plans?

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

COVID expedited that ongoing downward trend. A lot of kids don’t live anywhere near their classmates, teammates etc. Plus a lot of kids are shuttling between 2 houses that aren’t near each other,

Absolutely tragic. Broken families are devastating. Most kids never recover. Parents have been egregiously scammed by the “children are resilient” mantra. Remember the studies proving how “children who have family dinners every night are the most successful in school”. It’s still true.

Parents need to put more effort and sacrifice into their marriages, and sometimes a little less of spoiling their children with “the best” of every possible thing. Just because you can give your children more, doesn’t mean you should.

Self-discipline is essential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Most of my 9th graders official school activities use Instagram for all communications. By high school I can’t imagine a kid not having a smart phone.

My fear is the obvious dangers of social media and the internet, but also I don't want my kid stuck behind screens all the time. Also, the more devices the less they have to socialize in person. I can't recreate my childhood, but I'm hoping to give them a little of it.

But if everyone else has a phone who are they going to be socializing with, and how are they making plans?

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

COVID expedited that ongoing downward trend. A lot of kids don’t live anywhere near their classmates, teammates etc. Plus a lot of kids are shuttling between 2 houses that aren’t near each other,

Absolutely tragic. Broken families are devastating. Most kids never recover. Parents have been egregiously scammed by the “children are resilient” mantra. Remember the studies proving how “children who have family dinners every night are the most successful in school”. It’s still true.

Parents need to put more effort and sacrifice into their marriages, and sometimes a little less of spoiling their children with “the best” of every possible thing. Just because you can give your children more, doesn’t mean you should.

Self-discipline is essential.

Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.

[Anonymous]

How do you avoid giving smart phone in HS? I seriously don't get how you do that when all their friends will have one. Would you need to be arranging schedules for them because mine are able to figure out their life without me in 8th grade and I'm really happy about this At a certain age, don't you want your kids to be independent?

I mean, I totally get limiting screen time, putting parental controls and monitoring what they are doing online but you know, how do you not give your 9th grader a device to communicate with their friends and logistically, wouldn't it be easier to be able to track them down when you need??

In theory, if you have a kid you trust, why wouldn't you just let them live in the 21st century? We have friends whose kids have no access to phones in MS and I truly don't get it. My kids can make their own lunches, breakfasts, they can help us figure out where they want to go on a vacation, etc. I trust that they can use the phone appropriately given that at school, they really won't be able to access it at all. I don't believe that my kids are that great or special but I don't really get the logic behind OP and my friends who do not trust their kid with a phone. So are they still a baby at age 17?

[Anonymous]

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

Are you Fing serious? My plans (not by my choice) are ALL made by text. Who are you??!

Do you see everyone to make plans in person? I mean not only are teens more likely to plan by text, I don't know any adults who don't plan by text!!!! I

I truly want to know how those of you who are anti-smart phone for their teens think they are going to not be the laughing stock of most of their school. I 1000% think that it's a ridiculous falsehood to suggest that smartphones/Internet is the reason why teens get in trouble and makes them worse people. At age 6 or 8, maybe. But seriously, if your kid cannot abide by limits put on their phone at 16, you have a problem with parenting not electronic devices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

Are you Fing serious? My plans (not by my choice) are ALL made by text. Who are you??!

Do you see everyone to make plans in person? I mean not only are teens more likely to plan by text, I don't know any adults who don't plan by text!!!! I

I truly want to know how those of you who are anti-smart phone for their teens think they are going to not be the laughing stock of most of their school. I 1000% think that it's a ridiculous falsehood to suggest that smartphones/Internet is the reason why teens get in trouble and makes them worse people. At age 6 or 8, maybe. But seriously, if your kid cannot abide by limits put on their phone at 16, you have a problem with parenting not electronic devices.

I'd say if your kids are the ones making the kids who don't own a smart phone a laughing stock of their school, you have a very serious problem with parenting. You know that you don't need a smart phone to text or you are too dumb for that?

[Anonymous]

Why does everyone conflate phone with smartphone? The coolest kids I know in HS are the ones who either don’t have a phone or have a dumb phone. They are the ones playing music, navigating the city, spending time with their friends IN PERSON. They are not dull zombies obsessively checking their device when out with friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t get it. Most of my 9th graders official school activities use Instagram for all communications. By high school I can’t imagine a kid not having a smart phone.

My fear is the obvious dangers of social media and the internet, but also I don't want my kid stuck behind screens all the time. Also, the more devices the less they have to socialize in person. I can't recreate my childhood, but I'm hoping to give them a little of it.

But if everyone else has a phone who are they going to be socializing with, and how are they making plans?

Are there really no teenagers left who lead mainly real/non-virtual lives? Who can make plans by call/text?

COVID expedited that ongoing downward trend. A lot of kids don’t live anywhere near their classmates, teammates etc. Plus a lot of kids are shuttling between 2 houses that aren’t near each other,

Absolutely tragic. Broken families are devastating. Most kids never recover. Parents have been egregiously scammed by the “children are resilient” mantra. Remember the studies proving how “children who have family dinners every night are the most successful in school”. It’s still true.

Parents need to put more effort and sacrifice into their marriages, and sometimes a little less of spoiling their children with “the best” of every possible thing. Just because you can give your children more, doesn’t mean you should.

Self-discipline is essential.

Ma’am this is a Wendy’s.

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult and I don't have a cell phone. It's totally doable, and frankly, I wish more adults were like this. Get your screen stuff done when you're in front of a computer and then go live your life!

If you ever want to go to a game at my kid's high school (like if your kid plays a sport and playing against our school, at our school) the only way for you to get in is buying tickets through the app. Literally, you can not just show up and hand over cash.
From going to my kid's games, it's my impression that many of the schools in this area are like that.
Would you really just tell your kid "Sorry, I won't be watching you play, ever?"

That’s horrible. Why does your school do that? I would definitely advocate for more ticket buying options.

It’s very common. Our school is this way and so are two of my nephews’ schools in other states (and yes, I know that, because we went to their games when we visited).

What’s so terrible about it?

My high schooler submits homework assignments on her smartphone. You literally can’t take the class without a smartphone. Tickets to a game are nothing.

[Anonymous]

Don't forget that there ar HS students on dcum

[Anonymous]

My kids on MS are beholden to their laptops academically as everything is online. I'm not sure why you feel in this day and age why not having a smartphone makes your HS kids better than those with? Unless a kid is abusing their privileges or at a very young age, how does a HS benefit from not leveraging electronics? Do you text? Do you do everything in person with all of your contacts? Do you not bring your smartphone to work? This is year 2023. Get real!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult and I don't have a cell phone. It's totally doable, and frankly, I wish more adults were like this. Get your screen stuff done when you're in front of a computer and then go live your life!

If you ever want to go to a game at my kid's high school (like if your kid plays a sport and playing against our school, at our school) the only way for you to get in is buying tickets through the app. Literally, you can not just show up and hand over cash.
From going to my kid's games, it's my impression that many of the schools in this area are like that.
Would you really just tell your kid "Sorry, I won't be watching you play, ever?"

That’s horrible. Why does your school do that? I would definitely advocate for more ticket buying options.

It’s very common. Our school is this way and so are two of my nephews’ schools in other states (and yes, I know that, because we went to their games when we visited).

What’s so terrible about it?

My high schooler submits homework assignments on her smartphone. You literally can’t take the class without a smartphone. Tickets to a game are nothing.

This should be illegal, but I suspect it's not true. You cannot require a student to have a smartphone unless the school is issuing them to students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids on MS are beholden to their laptops academically as everything is online. I'm not sure why you feel in this day and age why not having a smartphone makes your HS kids better than those with? Unless a kid is abusing their privileges or at a very young age, how does a HS benefit from not leveraging electronics? Do you text? Do you do everything in person with all of your contacts? Do you not bring your smartphone to work? This is year 2023. Get real!

Is this a joke?
Have you read ANY of the research on what smartphones do to human brains, especially developing ones?
We are not talking about texting, we are talking about smartphone use... which is mostly internet searching and social media apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone conflate phone with smartphone? The coolest kids I know in HS are the ones who either don’t have a phone or have a dumb phone. They are the ones playing music, navigating the city, spending time with their friends IN PERSON. They are not dull zombies obsessively checking their device when out with friends.

Do you know in some cities, bus fares are done solely by phone app? I actually created a thread on here a couple years ago about it-how I was visiting a (small) city with my son for his college orientation and I thought we should just try using the local buses so he could see how to get around. We are from a car dependent exurb so he had never navigated public transportation so I just wanted to help him figure it out for the first time.
When I looked up the info online, I found that you had to download an app on your phone just to use the bus! And BOTH of us would have had to do it, because you can't pay for two people with the same account.
So in some places it would be difficult to "navigate the city" without a smart phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does everyone conflate phone with smartphone? The coolest kids I know in HS are the ones who either don’t have a phone or have a dumb phone. They are the ones playing music, navigating the city, spending time with their friends IN PERSON. They are not dull zombies obsessively checking their device when out with friends.

Do you know in some cities, bus fares are done solely by phone app? I actually created a thread on here a couple years ago about it-how I was visiting a (small) city with my son for his college orientation and I thought we should just try using the local buses so he could see how to get around. We are from a car dependent exurb so he had never navigated public transportation so I just wanted to help him figure it out for the first time.
When I looked up the info online, I found that you had to download an app on your phone just to use the bus! And BOTH of us would have had to do it, because you can't pay for two people with the same account.
So in some places it would be difficult to "navigate the city" without a smart phone.

That's college. Smartphone of course no problem and very necessary