Has anyone successfully avoided giving their *high school* kids smart phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

One of my boys doesn't play video games at all, my other son plays a little.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm an adult and I don't have a cell phone. It's totally doable, and frankly, I wish more adults were like this. Get your screen stuff done when you're in front of a computer and then go live your life!

If you ever want to go to a game at my kid's high school (like if your kid plays a sport and playing against our school, at our school) the only way for you to get in is buying tickets through the app. Literally, you can not just show up and hand over cash.
From going to my kid's games, it's my impression that many of the schools in this area are like that.
Would you really just tell your kid "Sorry, I won't be watching you play, ever?"

That’s horrible. Why does your school do that? I would definitely advocate for more ticket buying options.

It’s very common. Our school is this way and so are two of my nephews’ schools in other states (and yes, I know that, because we went to their games when we visited).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into getting a Gabb phone. It looks like a cell phone so the kids blend in with the crowd. But no apps, no internet. The phone can take picture/video, do group texts, keep a calendar, calculator and stream music/audio only. $25 per month basic plan.

https://gabb.com/

Can I put Life360 on it?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:My daughter got her first phone, a Gabb phone, at 8th grade graduation and we signed a two-year contract. We said that she could get a smart phone at the end of that contract (June of sophomore year). Now, in Oct of her sophomore year, she is doing just fine thus far with the Gabb. I am glad that we bought her more time for that frontal lobe to mature and make good decisions and to navigate the transition to high school without its interference. She is a cross-country runner, has a 4.24 GPA, is active in our church community and some other extracurriculars, and has generally been allowed to develop her own interests and sense of self without undue influence from social media or peer pressure.

My daughter is a freshman in college. She was a varsity tennis player for 4 years in high school. She graduated with a 4.5 GPA. She held a part-time job from the time she was 16. She socialized with friends, went to Prom, belonged to clubs, read books, went to college out of state, and is well-liked by her peers and teachers. She's had an iphone since 6th grade.

See how anecdotes work?

Except my reply answered the OP’s question.

Your story reminds me of my friend freshman year in college whose mom "successfully" had her avoiding eating sugar for breakfast. Every time the dining hall had PopTarts, my friend would eat 3 or 4 of them.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems crazy that so many school things expect or require that students will have cell phones. Social life is one thing, but there should be ways to participate in class and attend school sporting events without them. Not everyone wants or needs a mobile communications (and tracking) device, and many families cannot afford them.

Ohhhhh, you’re one of thoooooose.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

That's irrelevant. Their social life will suffer in HS if they have no way of communicating with their friends over the phone.

+1

Nearly all plans are made via text. If they don’t have a phone, how would their friends even reach them? Do you have a landline? Or expect their friends to call/text you and leave a message? There was a kid or two like that in middle school, but I just don’t see how this would work for a high schooler.

Beyond that, mine use their phones to check grades & get into Google classroom, etc. on the fly. They also use their phones for extracurriculars- for example, my freshman DS uses it for his sport- practice and game schedules are in an app (along with special instructions sometimes- “wear the blue jersey today” “meet in the weight room today instead of the field” “practice will end early today at 4:00”) and so on. These changes are often last minute and I don’t even know how he would find the info without a phone.

I also need them to have phones to keep in touch for rides etc from sports and other extracurriculars and outings. To attend sporting events at our school- like an high school football game for example- all (including kids/students attending) must purchase and show an electronic ticket. No alternative (this one surprised me). They wouldn’t even be able to attend a HS football game with friends, without a phone…

In high school, everything is setup assuming all kids have a phone. It is reality, whether we like it or not…

Sorry if this wasn't clear. My kids have apple watches with cell service. They can text just fine and make phone calls. I can also track them.

-OP

Those Apple Watches are going to be useless for turning in assignments and participating in class.

Unless your high school is unusually non- phone-dependent, they need a smart phone and they need to know how to use it well.

If they have their chrome books, why do they need phones? They take their chrome books to school everyday now. They turn in things electronically for the most part. I am seriously asking. -OP

Have you read the posts about how admission to football/basketball games, the drama productions, etc. are now done by app?
Is it that you think your kid will never want to go to these things?

DP here but the kid could just ask their parent to get them the tickets on the parent's phone, if it's that important. I'm not against high schoolers having phones, but this argument doesn't make sense.

You show the tickets at the door ON THE PHONE.

[Anonymous]

We waited till 9th and she only had smart watch. but then let her have one w heavy limits on social media. Apple time limits are a pain but workable

[Anonymous]

A public school cannot make it so that the only way to access or turn in assignments is through a smart phone. These posters are either trolls or private school twits. If your kids attend public they are issued a device for all the academic functions that require a device. Buying tickets for school plays and sporting events is not an academic function. Also, any late model Apple device is a theft target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A public school cannot make it so that the only way to access or turn in assignments is through a smart phone. These posters are either trolls or private school twits. If your kids attend public they are issued a device for all the academic functions that require a device. Buying tickets for school plays and sporting events is not an academic function. Also, any late model Apple device is a theft target.

I never said that's the ONLY way my PRIVATE SCHOOL TWIT KID can turn in assignments or see the sports, drama, music Instagram accounts and updates. How much is hay for your horse and buggy compared to gas prices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

It’s the same it’s how you teach your kids. 9/10 it is that the mom is all over social media as well, and the daughter is right behind her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

It’s the same it’s how you teach your kids. 9/10 it is that the mom is all over social media as well, and the daughter is right behind her.

No. Boys social groups just are not as into phones. It’s different, boy mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A public school cannot make it so that the only way to access or turn in assignments is through a smart phone. These posters are either trolls or private school twits. If your kids attend public they are issued a device for all the academic functions that require a device. Buying tickets for school plays and sporting events is not an academic function. Also, any late model Apple device is a theft target.

You have issues. And anyone with half a brain knows stealing a newer iPhone is pointless to steal. You can’t do anything with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

It’s the same it’s how you teach your kids. 9/10 it is that the mom is all over social media as well, and the daughter is right behind her.

No. Boys social groups just are not as into phones. It’s different, boy mom.

I have a boy, 18 now. They all used their iphones to make social plans. They all have ig accounts, snapchat, etc. He never had an xbox, though, but he was more into computer games.

[Anonymous]

No. DS got a smartphone for his birthday in 9th grade.

It's another thing I have to monitor, but I wanted him to learn how to use a phone and what not to do before he became an adult.

It's a pain, but he hasn't developed as strong of an attachment to it as many other kids I've seen who got them younger.

He also had a chance to learn what to ignore and when not to respond. And he learned that parents check phones. Now that he's a senior, I explain that this won't last forever, but I'll be checking it occasionally as long as he's still living at home and in high school.

Those are valuable lessons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there should be separate threads for parents of boys and girls. It’s not really the same or comparable.

How so?

I’m the PP. Like when posters say “my son doesn’t even want social media.” Or “My son doesn’t care that he doesn’t have a phone.” Or “My son’s friends don’t do group chats.” It’s just totally unhelpful and unrealistic to parents of girls and those posters have no clue. It’s like me saying “We don’t even have video games and my teens don’t care!” (Which is true; they are girls.)

It’s the same it’s how you teach your kids. 9/10 it is that the mom is all over social media as well, and the daughter is right behind her.

No. Boys social groups just are not as into phones. It’s different, boy mom.

The middle and high school bus stops are right outside my house and the boys stand there staring at their phones in the morning, and when they get off the bus in the afternoon, they’re still staring at them while they walk. I see teenage boys staring at their phones while riding their bikes in my neighborhood constantly. (I mean, at least they’re out doing something.) This idea that’s boys aren’t into phones is completely false.