Has anyone successfully avoided giving their *high school* kids smart phones?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be really difficult and I say that as a parent who hates smartphones for kids. It’s not just the expectation that kids have and check their phones for sports and activity announcements (Remind app and Whatsapp). Even group homework assignments use apps. Plus all social communication.

[Anonymous]

I know a few families who have done no smart phones in HS. The kids definitely had a different social life, and their sports teams probably found them annoying, but they all read a lot more and were really interesting, smart and accomplished kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to socially cripple your kids, good luck.

+1

+2

Land the helicopter.

[Anonymous]

My post isn’t going to be much help but I’m curious why wait? We chose to get phones for our kids in middle school, when they were old enough to stay home alone. If home alone, they need to be able to make calls. I didn’t care what kind of phone, but they needed to be able to make and receive calls and texts. Smart watches are fine, but not nearly as easy to use. We got the base iPhone (SE), put onto the famil plan for no additional money and had a conversation about what was allowed and what wasn’t. Then we used trust and had faith that the trust we were putting in them was well-placed because of what we had taught them. I wholeheartedly believe trust should be given until no longer deserved.

They can buy apps without our approval, but they’ve never tried. Kids watch videos, text, use discord, make calls when necessary, check homework and other school apps. This approach has worked fine for four years. Certainly will adjust if a kid breaks the trust. I’m just curious why all the non-trust and waiting?

[Anonymous]

It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look into getting a Gabb phone. It looks like a cell phone so the kids blend in with the crowd. But no apps, no internet. The phone can take picture/video, do group texts, keep a calendar, calculator and stream music/audio only. $25 per month basic plan.

https://gabb.com/

PP here. There isn't much of a distraction here because only music streaming, which isn't that different from having a CD player.

My daughter has one, so AMA.

What crowd does she run with at school and what do her friends think of the gabb?
What are her grades like?
How do you teach her how to be safe on the internet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My post isn’t going to be much help but I’m curious why wait? We chose to get phones for our kids in middle school, when they were old enough to stay home alone. If home alone, they need to be able to make calls. I didn’t care what kind of phone, but they needed to be able to make and receive calls and texts. Smart watches are fine, but not nearly as easy to use. We got the base iPhone (SE), put onto the famil plan for no additional money and had a conversation about what was allowed and what wasn’t. Then we used trust and had faith that the trust we were putting in them was well-placed because of what we had taught them. I wholeheartedly believe trust should be given until no longer deserved.

They can buy apps without our approval, but they’ve never tried. Kids watch videos, text, use discord, make calls when necessary, check homework and other school apps. This approach has worked fine for four years. Certainly will adjust if a kid breaks the trust. I’m just curious why all the non-trust and waiting?

My 10th grader has a pinwheel. She can call and use all the homework apps and other stuff. She just has no browser and no social media. She can text to her heart's delight.
She isn't socially crippled, but she also doesn't need access to netflix or instagram on her phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

NP. Yes, but by high school kids are arranging their own social plans, usually by app or text. As you can imagine, often plans don't come together until the last minute so anyone who is not involved in the conversation doesn't know. Also, as you may recall from your youth, communicating with peers outside of school is a big thing. Kids who aren't a part of that are just not going to be included as much or be considered as involved the "the group".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look into getting a Gabb phone. It looks like a cell phone so the kids blend in with the crowd. But no apps, no internet. The phone can take picture/video, do group texts, keep a calendar, calculator and stream music/audio only. $25 per month basic plan.

https://gabb.com/

$25 is crazy expensive for non internet. What a scam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

No. Who the F answers the door without a call or text first

[Anonymous]

It's a matter of security. I know in the "good old days", kids traveled everywhere without cell phones. Well, I feel much better knowing my kids and I can contact each other when pick-up location changes, or rehearsal is cut short, or they have an emergency.

My kids have never abused the privilege, and all electronics stay downstairs at night. They need to practice for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

That's irrelevant. Their social life will suffer in HS if they have no way of communicating with their friends over the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's so interesting to me that so many ppl are asking or saying that a kids social life will suffer. Don't kids live anywhere near their friends anymore?? Can't they see each other in person?

You clearly don't know that kids socialize in a very different way than we did 30 years ago.

I know that they socialize differently and I don't think it's all that great.

I agree, but it’s reality. If you think it’s going to change, or you can give your kid a magical tech free school experience, you’re really bailing water against the tide.