Siblings kids not invited to wedding

[Anonymous]

Didn’t read the replies but when my BIL had this (same exact scenario), DH went alone and was in/out as quickly as possible rather than staying the whole week. Our kids were also toddlers and we only had so much vacation time to burn for stuff like that.

Other option is to bring the kids, try to make a family vacation of it and hire a sitter during wedding events. At your kids’ ages they will probably be happier staying home

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Infants in arms are an exception to the “no kids” rule.

I’m sorry though. Both of my siblings did this too. My brother wanted the kids to be in the wedding photos, but not at the wedding. So I had to bring them and get them dressed up, and then send them off to the hotel with the babysitter.

No, they are not.

Yes they are.
If you don’t want your sister to bring her infant to your wedding, then don’t invite her.

Nope. The invite would have said “infants in arms ok” if that is what “no kids” had meant.

And sure, don’t invite the sister with kids. That would go over so well! Would be an epic DCUM thread!

Honestly, it won’t go over awesome if the OP just doesn’t go to her sibling’s wedding.

Why can’t the sibling just take the blame and not invite the siblings with kids?

Because it is more appropriate for the mom to say no than the bride to say no.

What is the bride saying “no” to? There isn’t a question.
Just don’t invite people with babies. Then this doesn’t come up. Problem solved.

Your idea is nonsensical.

It’s not nonsensical.

If you don’t want the possibility of an infant ruining your wedding, then don’t invite people who have infants. What’s nonsense?

If a wedding can be "ruined" by an infant, it wasn't much of a wedding anyway.

+1

How would you feel if you could not hear the vows you are supposed to be saying at your own wedding, because Snowflake Parents could not remove Snowflake Kid during Snowflake Kid's meltdown?

You had your wedding day. What went wrong, that you want to impose on someone else's wedding day? Because happily married people don't try to manipulate other people's weddings.

Why is someone else's wedding day all about you? Maybe the bride and groom only want selfless people to attend, who are able to actually be happy for others. If not, stay home. Done and done.

Lol agreeing that infants don’t ruin weddings is not trying to manipulate other people’s weddings. I’m actually attending an out of town childfree wedding in a couple months and going to the inconvenience of finding care for all 3 of my kids, including my EBF infant. I’m asking no questions, trying to make no exceptions, I’m going wildly out of my way.

Had my infant been allowed I will say I’ve never allowed one of my babies to “ruin” anything crying because obviously I step out. But I agree with the sentiment expressed above that life happens, babies make noises, and nothing worthwhile is ruined.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is yours sibling. IDK about you, but I can pretty much ask my siblings anything and it wouldn’t be weird or awkward. Just ask!

Me too.
Really, though, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t do whatever you could to make sure that your sister was comfortable and had a nice time at your destination wedding. What do you honestly care if she finds it easier to bring her children or not?

[Anonymous]

I would gracefully decline and send a very nice wedding gift. It’s just too complicated and expensive to attend under these circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. That’s an insane take on what that poster wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. That’s an insane take on what that poster wrote.

Why? She said “I don’t do no kid’s weddings” period. Under any circumstances. Why is that? It’s ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

You do not ask. Your sibling didn't forget the existence of your children. If they wanted children there they would've invited them. You have all the information. You can choose whether or not to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. That’s an insane take on what that poster wrote.

Why? She said “I don’t do no kid’s weddings” period. Under any circumstances. Why is that? It’s ridiculous.

Reread what she wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. That’s an insane take on what that poster wrote.

Why? She said “I don’t do no kid’s weddings” period. Under any circumstances. Why is that? It’s ridiculous.

She doesn’t do no kid destination weddings.
She doesn’t want to vacation solo without her family or use their finite family money and vacation time just to leave her kids in the hotel during the event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. Wow. The PP said she won't do child free DESTINATION weddings because she doesn't have the money and PTO for them, but also has no hard feelings, and you twisted that into her being a crazy mom who expects her entire family to be invited to everything? You're either crazy or a moron, and probably both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

Wut.

She doesn't at all sound like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

If she sounds crazy I’m crazy too. I’m not spending thousands of dollars to take my whole family to your wedding destination but sit in the hotel with a total stranger local babysitter.

I did do it once. We brought our au pair with us to watch the older kids, but since I was nursing I was allowed to bring my 3 month old on-site. So that was workable. But in a situation like that in OP? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't do kid-free destination weddings. No hard feelings - people can have the wedding they want and I'll still send a nice gift.

Happy to leave kids with spouse or a sitter for a local wedding, but not spending money on airfare or hotel to go solo, or for the whole family to fly in and then wait at the hotel. Maybe if I had an unlimited travel budget and PTO, but I don't.

See, you come off sounding like one of those crazy mommies who expect the whole world to open their arms to your entire family for every event and blur the distinction between adult and family friendly social events at all times. You became a mother and checked your individual self at the door. It’s not healthy.

DP. Wow. The PP said she won't do child free DESTINATION weddings because she doesn't have the money and PTO for them, but also has no hard feelings, and you twisted that into her being a crazy mom who expects her entire family to be invited to everything? You're either crazy or a moron, and probably both.

Yea I was wrong. My bad. I didn’t see the line about DESTINATION weddings. My apologies.

But there ARE women who won’t do no kid weddings or other no kid events generally as a matter of principle, and THEY’RE the nuts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.