"Died unexpectedly" in obit

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I almost died at work the other day — I aspirated food. I bet my obit would say that I “died unexpectedly”. Thank goodness I’m still alive! 🙏

I am sincerely glad, too! That’s really scary, PP. Glad you are OK.

If you had died and you were my family member, we would have put “died unexpectedly” or perhaps “died in an accident.” We would not be a unfortunate encounter with a sandwich to be what people focused on when they heard of your death, and thought about you later on.

Ah! A caveat. Yes, an 'accident', is completely different. But that is not what has been discussed. If I heard that an otherwise healthy person between 20-60 dies unexpectedly and without any mention of cause- people, understand that, statistically, it is almost surely suicide.

Dying due to choking is not dying in an accident.
There are so many ways to die that are unexpected, not accidents, and not suicide.

Uh, the family could certainly call that an accident. Or “died accidentally.” They can use whatever words they want.

They could, but I think of accidents as things like falling, getting hit by a branch, or a car accident. I'd say choking is exactly the kind of thing one would use "unexpected" for.

Because one should expect a tree to fall on them?

Did I say that?

You did. You put choking in the 'unexpected' basket and, then, put getting hit by a falling tree in the 'expected' basket.

Did you not know you did that?

No, I did not. You are pretending that "accident" is a direct antonym of "expected". Referring to getting hit by a branch as an accident does not mean that one expects to be hit by a tree branch, just like the term "car accident" does not mean that one expects to have a collision while driving. I said that getting hit by a falling tree is an accident. I did not, as you claim, put in a "the expected basket" because, again, "accident" is not the direct opposite of "expected". And "accident" is not synonymous with "unexpected". Heart attacks are unexpected and not accidents. So are aneurisms. So are a lot of things. I would personally put choking in that category. If my loved one died by choking, I would probably say they died unexpectedly.

Huh. I'd say my spouse died of a stupid accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Uncle Dan died 'unexpectedly.' When I was older I learned that he sat in his Skylark in the garage at his house in Erie and left the engine running.

My husband’s uncle did that on the morning of his court appearance for his third DUI. The obituary just said he died.

The guy killed himself over a DUI? Sounds like a loser.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I guess seeing someone retire early from a very lucrative position at such an early age makes me wonder if "retired" = "fired" because of a some mental or addiction problem, followed by suicide or OD soon thereafter.

You have an interesting bias in life. I would assume that the person was diagnosed with something terminal and decided to make his remaining time as meaningful as possible while he could, but the disease progressed much faster than expected.

This is OP. I guess I remember this person as somewhat insecure and competitive and reminds me of a similar person I knew who did actually die of suicide and had a very similar personality.

You are rubbing me the wrong way.

I had the same reaction to OP, it’s as if she’s hoping he was fired and so despondent he died by suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Uncle Dan died 'unexpectedly.' When I was older I learned that he sat in his Skylark in the garage at his house in Erie and left the engine running.

My husband’s uncle did that on the morning of his court appearance for his third DUI. The obituary just said he died.

The guy killed himself over a DUI? Sounds like a loser.

Yup, he was never going to be able to drive again.

[Anonymous]

I’m related through marriage to someone whose 20-something granddaughter was in a head on collision when she was 8-9 months pregnant. She sustained serious head trauma and could not be saved, but her baby was safely delivered via c-section, with a broken leg and no other issues. There were newspaper articles about the crash that went into the details, but her obituary did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Uncle Dan died 'unexpectedly.' When I was older I learned that he sat in his Skylark in the garage at his house in Erie and left the engine running.

My husband’s uncle did that on the morning of his court appearance for his third DUI. The obituary just said he died.

The guy killed himself over a DUI? Sounds like a loser.

NP. You’re not putting together that someone with three DUIs was probably an alcoholic whose life was out of control? You have very poor critical thinking skills, don’t you?

[Anonymous]

I would think if it were suicide, it would say “died expectedly.” That is what I would want it to say if I kill myself anyway…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One of my recently retired colleagues died just two weeks ago. The spouse called our company to advise the big boss of the very sudden death. We had all just visited with and worked alongside this coworker several days prior to the death. So, it was sudden.

Family published an obituary. No cause of death listed. I attended the funeral service. A few people have asked if we know a cause of death because so shockingly sudden. No, we do not and likely never will. Not suicide. Not car accident. I think-think-died in sleep.

You can rule out suicide and car accident- how?

Was at home. And I guess I can’t rule out suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I guess seeing someone retire early from a very lucrative position at such an early age makes me wonder if "retired" = "fired" because of a some mental or addiction problem, followed by suicide or OD soon thereafter.

You have an interesting bias in life. I would assume that the person was diagnosed with something terminal and decided to make his remaining time as meaningful as possible while he could, but the disease progressed much faster than expected.

+1 this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Uncle Dan died 'unexpectedly.' When I was older I learned that he sat in his Skylark in the garage at his house in Erie and left the engine running.

My husband’s uncle did that on the morning of his court appearance for his third DUI. The obituary just said he died.

The guy killed himself over a DUI? Sounds like a loser.

You sound very young and immature.

[Anonymous]

I assume OD or suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My Uncle Dan died 'unexpectedly.' When I was older I learned that he sat in his Skylark in the garage at his house in Erie and left the engine running.

My husband’s uncle did that on the morning of his court appearance for his third DUI. The obituary just said he died.

The guy killed himself over a DUI? Sounds like a loser.

You sound very young and immature.

I wonder if this forum has been found by bored teens on summer break.

[Anonymous]

For my parent who “died unexpectedly” it meant they fell from a ladder. I didn’t feel the need to share the medical details with the world.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Suicide or OD 90% of the time. If it was a natural 'suddenly' (ie stroke or heart attack) it's usually spelled out to avoid the implications of the aforementioned causes.

This. If it's a heart attack, the obit will say heart attack

Not always. I know of two people who died of a heart attack and one obituary said “unexpectedly” and one said “after a sudden illness.”

You know what they say about those who ASSume. Look at you, true to form.

May I ask why you are so hostile?

It is human curiosity to inquire how people died. When I read "died unexpectedly" I do think overdoses. Obits go out of their way to avoid mentioning overdoses whereas for other deaths they're usually upfront. Including suicides ("took his life."

Well you really shouldn't assume that at alln is what people are saying and I don't think you have a basis for your assumption. I've know three people to die unexpectedly in the past two months (and that's what their obits say) and not one was suicide or overdose. And if you knew them, you'd know it wasn't those things.

[Anonymous]

NP

With the Internet, these days, less is more. All the obit information is printed on multiple websites on the Internet, and it will stay there forever. I could see where before people may give more details in the obituary, but now it seems better and safer to just be vague.