married by 30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Where do you live? And in which century?

If PP were from a previous century he’d know having kids in your 40s is incredibly common. How do you think all those women had 12 kids?

I wish people would stop throwing this out as if that wasn’t grandma’s 3rd-12th child not her first in her forties. There is a huge difference between already proven fertility in years post 35 within strict monogamy from never-been-pregnant-before post 35 and years of multiple sexual partners.

It’s not only incredibly cavalier to advise young women to wait so late on purpose, it’s also callous to those of us in the devastation of infertility. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

“Within strict monogamy” lmao what are you talking about there have always been bastard children

Most people’s grandparents don’t have bastard children. My grandfather wasn’t the wealthy King of France, he was a postman and a devout Christian. So FOH.

Even taking your premise as fact (it’s not), strict monogamy would have been expected on the part of the married woman in almost every instance.

Men spread their seed far & wide, sis.

You are so ideologically dug in that you’re missing the point, sis. Having your 4th child in your 40s is not the same as trying to have your 1st in your 40s, point blank period, and you’re lying if you say it’s just NBD like grandma did.

The reason why women had kids into their 40s back then is because they didn’t have reliable birth control. It has nothing to do with how many sexual partners they had or when they started TTC. How is this news to you?

OMG. Let me slow this down for you…..

A woman attempting to have her first child, with no prior proven fertility, after 35 will not just “accidentally” get pregnant like the woman who had multiple children throughout the course of her childbearing years. For every 1 story you hear about “we got pregnant for the first time after pulling the birth control at 37!” there are way more women quietly dealing with the ordeal of primary infertility.

An increased number of partners over a long span of time and non-barrier methods of contraception can contribute to tubal, cervical, or uterine factor infertility, and extended exposure to hormonal or metabolic disruptors can increase ovulatory or HPA factor infertility. Plus the physiological changes that occur in prior pregnancies prime the body for subsequent pregnancies, and by your mid 30s a nulliparous woman is behind that curve.

There are no guarantees but the odds are very clearly tilted further in your favor in your twenties and in safe monogamous sex practices. Please stop obfuscating this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Where do you live? And in which century?

If PP were from a previous century he’d know having kids in your 40s is incredibly common. How do you think all those women had 12 kids?

I wish people would stop throwing this out as if that wasn’t grandma’s 3rd-12th child not her first in her forties. There is a huge difference between already proven fertility in years post 35 within strict monogamy from never-been-pregnant-before post 35 and years of multiple sexual partners.

It’s not only incredibly cavalier to advise young women to wait so late on purpose, it’s also callous to those of us in the devastation of infertility. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

“Within strict monogamy” lmao what are you talking about there have always been bastard children

Most people’s grandparents don’t have bastard children. My grandfather wasn’t the wealthy King of France, he was a postman and a devout Christian. So FOH.

Even taking your premise as fact (it’s not), strict monogamy would have been expected on the part of the married woman in almost every instance.

Men spread their seed far & wide, sis.

You are so ideologically dug in that you’re missing the point, sis. Having your 4th child in your 40s is not the same as trying to have your 1st in your 40s, point blank period, and you’re lying if you say it’s just NBD like grandma did.

The reason why women had kids into their 40s back then is because they didn’t have reliable birth control. It has nothing to do with how many sexual partners they had or when they started TTC. How is this news to you?

OMG. Let me slow this down for you…..

A woman attempting to have her first child, with no prior proven fertility, after 35 will not just “accidentally” get pregnant like the woman who had multiple children throughout the course of her childbearing years. For every 1 story you hear about “we got pregnant for the first time after pulling the birth control at 37!” there are way more women quietly dealing with the ordeal of primary infertility.

An increased number of partners over a long span of time and non-barrier methods of contraception can contribute to tubal, cervical, or uterine factor infertility, and extended exposure to hormonal or metabolic disruptors can increase ovulatory or HPA factor infertility. Plus the physiological changes that occur in prior pregnancies prime the body for subsequent pregnancies, and by your mid 30s a nulliparous woman is behind that curve.

There are no guarantees but the odds are very clearly tilted further in your favor in your twenties and in safe monogamous sex practices. Please stop obfuscating this point.

Um, yes, she will. Very, very common.

[Anonymous]

Fertility isn't magically cut off at 35. It is only slightly more difficult to get pregnant at 36 than it is at 34. Let's look at what the experts said in 1982, way, way, way before IVF was commonplace and way before our little incel troll was a gleam in his mother's eye.

Likelihood of Conceiving in 12 Months by Age:

30-34 years old - 63%
35-39 years old - 52%

Source here is the Guttmacher Institute. Would be interesting to see if the person claiming fertility is over the day of your 35th birthday has a better source.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Where do you live? And in which century?

If PP were from a previous century he’d know having kids in your 40s is incredibly common. How do you think all those women had 12 kids?

I wish people would stop throwing this out as if that wasn’t grandma’s 3rd-12th child not her first in her forties. There is a huge difference between already proven fertility in years post 35 within strict monogamy from never-been-pregnant-before post 35 and years of multiple sexual partners.

It’s not only incredibly cavalier to advise young women to wait so late on purpose, it’s also callous to those of us in the devastation of infertility. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Oh stop. Stating the facts is not callous of anyone. My aunt suffered from infertility in her late 20s and ultimately had to adopt. Is it callous towards my aunt for us to say that the average 27 year old isn't suffering from infertility?

[Anonymous]

- the pool of potential spouses shrinks as you get older
- I wanted to start a family
- I wanted to be done having kids by 35.
- I met my spouse early enough

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- the pool of potential spouses shrinks as you get older
- I wanted to start a family
- I wanted to be done having kids by 35.
- I met my spouse early enough

I think this is the key here. I have no qualms with anyone marrying at any age as long as they think the person is the right spouse for them.

What we don't need to do is pressure women to marry by 30 using fear mongering tactics like "You'll have to settle" or "Your fertility will magically disappear the night before your 35th birthday."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Where do you live? And in which century?

If PP were from a previous century he’d know having kids in your 40s is incredibly common. How do you think all those women had 12 kids?

I wish people would stop throwing this out as if that wasn’t grandma’s 3rd-12th child not her first in her forties. There is a huge difference between already proven fertility in years post 35 within strict monogamy from never-been-pregnant-before post 35 and years of multiple sexual partners.

It’s not only incredibly cavalier to advise young women to wait so late on purpose, it’s also callous to those of us in the devastation of infertility. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Oh stop. Stating the facts is not callous of anyone. My aunt suffered from infertility in her late 20s and ultimately had to adopt. Is it callous towards my aunt for us to say that the average 27 year old isn't suffering from infertility?

It is unlikely the poster you are quoting is a woman. Gives me vibes of a man pretending to be some poor, old, 36 year old woman suffering from infertility so they can push their agenda on women.

[Anonymous]

I got married at 28 and I was the second to last of my friend group to marry (the last one went at 40, a bit of an outlier). I found a person I could spend the rest of my life with and didn’t see a need to keep searching for a better deal.

We all went to top 20 schools and are lawyers, doctors, one CFO (not me!), and government workers (me!).

Now in our late 40s…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married at 28 and I was the second to last of my friend group to marry (the last one went at 40, a bit of an outlier). I found a person I could spend the rest of my life with and didn’t see a need to keep searching for a better deal.

We all went to top 20 schools and are lawyers, doctors, one CFO (not me!), and government workers (me!).

Now in our late 40s…

Okay so this was 20 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Totally missed that goal by 1.5 months. Oh dear, take away the kids, husband and house my life means nothing!!!!!!

See these arbitrary lines in the sand are not important. Even infertility doesn’t mean you can’t ever be a parent.

Thing is doesn’t matter when you marry or even if you marry, you are still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- the pool of potential spouses shrinks as you get older
- I wanted to start a family
- I wanted to be done having kids by 35.
- I met my spouse early enough

I think this is the key here. I have no qualms with anyone marrying at any age as long as they think the person is the right spouse for them.

What we don't need to do is pressure women to marry by 30 using fear mongering tactics like "You'll have to settle" or "Your fertility will magically disappear the night before your 35th birthday."

Ok, but if you want to get married and have kids, don't spend your late 20s onward in relationships that aren't going to lead to that. Because you're a lot likely to get into the relationship with the right person if you're with the wrong person. I'd say that to men and women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:- the pool of potential spouses shrinks as you get older
- I wanted to start a family
- I wanted to be done having kids by 35.
- I met my spouse early enough

I think this is the key here. I have no qualms with anyone marrying at any age as long as they think the person is the right spouse for them.

What we don't need to do is pressure women to marry by 30 using fear mongering tactics like "You'll have to settle" or "Your fertility will magically disappear the night before your 35th birthday."

Ok, but if you want to get married and have kids, don't spend your late 20s onward in relationships that aren't going to lead to that. Because you're a lot likely to get into the relationship with the right person if you're with the wrong person. I'd say that to men and women.

I didn't say otherwise? I think anyone who ever wants to get married should be dating intentionally. But if you are 29 and haven't found the right person, I don't think you need to panic and say, well, I have six years of fertility left, I need to get married in a year!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fertility isn't magically cut off at 35. It is only slightly more difficult to get pregnant at 36 than it is at 34. Let's look at what the experts said in 1982, way, way, way before IVF was commonplace and way before our little incel troll was a gleam in his mother's eye.

Likelihood of Conceiving in 12 Months by Age:

30-34 years old - 63%
35-39 years old - 52%

Source here is the Guttmacher Institute. Would be interesting to see if the person claiming fertility is over the day of your 35th birthday has a better source.

No it doesn’t magically cut off but there are hundreds of credible studies showing that on average fertility begins rapidly decline around your mid thirties. For those who want biological children (and particularly those who are not willing/financially able to pursue IVF) to just assume they’ll be in the 50 % able to conceive with a year without assistance post 35 seems pretty foolhardy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fertility isn't magically cut off at 35. It is only slightly more difficult to get pregnant at 36 than it is at 34. Let's look at what the experts said in 1982, way, way, way before IVF was commonplace and way before our little incel troll was a gleam in his mother's eye.

Likelihood of Conceiving in 12 Months by Age:

30-34 years old - 63%
35-39 years old - 52%

Source here is the Guttmacher Institute. Would be interesting to see if the person claiming fertility is over the day of your 35th birthday has a better source.

No it doesn’t magically cut off but there are hundreds of credible studies showing that on average fertility begins rapidly decline around your mid thirties. For those who want biological children (and particularly those who are not willing/financially able to pursue IVF) to just assume they’ll be in the 50 % able to conceive with a year without assistance post 35 seems pretty foolhardy.

Right, but you do realize that it's not IVF or no baby at all, right? There are loads of things between IVF that hopeful parents can try, and in fact, doctors will recommend before IVF. It's not "Either you are in the lucky 52% or you have to do IVF."

You are being absurd. Just admit you are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Where do you live? And in which century?

If PP were from a previous century he’d know having kids in your 40s is incredibly common. How do you think all those women had 12 kids?

I wish people would stop throwing this out as if that wasn’t grandma’s 3rd-12th child not her first in her forties. There is a huge difference between already proven fertility in years post 35 within strict monogamy from never-been-pregnant-before post 35 and years of multiple sexual partners.

It’s not only incredibly cavalier to advise young women to wait so late on purpose, it’s also callous to those of us in the devastation of infertility. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

Oh stop. Stating the facts is not callous of anyone. My aunt suffered from infertility in her late 20s and ultimately had to adopt. Is it callous towards my aunt for us to say that the average 27 year old isn't suffering from infertility?

Goodness gracious. “To wait SO LATE ON PURPOSE”. All are you are being willfully obtuse and it is exasperating. You are 1000% a part of the problem, if not only for the fact that you will double down incorrigibly in the face of anyone who dare disagree with your premise.