married by 30

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to turn 30 and I don't have a single friend who is married. I know two couples who got married before/at 30:

1. Bride was 23 and groom was 24. Both very right-wing and religious.
2. Bride was 27 and groom was 30. Bride came from southern money and insisted that if you didn't get married in your 20s, you would have to have a baby at 30, and that's too old. She is now 30 and does not have a baby, so I guess she'll be a granny mom by her own standards.

Otherwise, even the most conservative, traditional people I know got married in their early 30s. I just don't think it's common to get married in your 20s in DC.

DH and I are both quite liberal. We got married at 26 and 29 and were done having kids by the time I turned 30. We both had graduate degrees and we owned a house in Arlington when we got married. DH was also making enough that I could quit my teaching job and we could still live quite comfortably.

[Anonymous]

Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The pool of single and desirable mates gets pretty shallow after 30.

Nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 31 and I don't have a single unmarried friend. One of my DH's friends asked me recently if I had any friends to set him up with and I literally didn't have a single suggestion.

In DC? I'm 38 - most of my friends got married between 30 and 35, to have them all married by 31 is unusual.

I am 45. Friends married between 32-37.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

Most people don’t have parents nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women looks and womb go south and fall apart after 30

Let me tell you something that’s going to blow your mind: not all of us live everyday of our lives in pursuit of pleasing men.

You can't de-age your womb

I got pregnant from one time in years at 37. my great grandmother had her last kid at 42. I am 45 and I can still have a baby. Friend had twins at 45 and no IVF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

Most people don’t have parents nearby.

See, you just pulled that completely out of your a$$ and presented it as fact. Most adults DO have parents nearby.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html

[Anonymous]

I am one of four kids. Our parents got married when they were 23 years old. We got married at ages (with spouses' ages in parentheses):

28 (31)
26 (31)
32 (32)
29 (28)

Of the eight of us, seven have college degrees and many have advanced degrees (MS, MD, JD, MBA, PhD, etc.). None of us got married on the young side because of religious reasons and only one because they were planning to have a kid. We just all found people we wanted to marry and who wanted to marry us, so why wait? I don't think I would have found someone better if I'd delayed marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

Most people don’t have parents nearby.

See, you just pulled that completely out of your a$$ and presented it as fact. Most adults DO have parents nearby.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html

Not in this area

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

Most people don’t have parents nearby.

See, you just pulled that completely out of your a$$ and presented it as fact. Most adults DO have parents nearby.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html

Not in this area

I do not know a single person that has parents nearby in the DMV area. Many people come here to work in their 20s and never leave.

An average across the country is not relevant.

Even if parents are nearby, no guarantee they would be helpful: mine not capable of watching kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

Most people don’t have parents nearby.

See, you just pulled that completely out of your a$$ and presented it as fact. Most adults DO have parents nearby.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/12/24/upshot/24up-family.html

Not in this area

I do not know a single person that has parents nearby in the DMV area. Many people come here to work in their 20s and never leave.

An average across the country is not relevant.

Even if parents are nearby, no guarantee they would be helpful: mine not capable of watching kids.

Just because you don’t know them doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

Our adult kids’ parents (namely, us) live here and so do they. And so do most of their friends from high school and most of their parents.

You do realize that not everyone here is a transplant and that not everyone who grows up here moves away, right?

[Anonymous]

What do you expect from people who couldn't find a suitable mate willing to commit, able to afford a family and have kids during high fertility years?

Obviously, they'll marry later and have kids later and make that work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people who want kids want to start by their mid-30’s, so that’s the most common reason to marry by 30. Also the pool of good marriage partners decreases in the 30’s. And usually you get married so you can spend your life with someone, so why wait until middle age for that?

Because, unless you want kids, most people haven't worked out their crap by the time they are 30, and unless you're super into monogamy, there's just a lot more fun to be had by meeting and engaging with lots of people throughout life.

Sorry you couldn’t grow up.

Growing up is overrated and boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how so many older mothers get so defensive and say things like “I wouldn’t want to have to wait until I’m 50 to travel,” etc. If you get married young and have young parents, your parents can pitch in and help and you can still do cool stuff.

That’s a weird response to a weird objection to getting married young.

I think both choices have their pros and cons but I traveled a lot before I had kids at age 26, and I now travel with my kids. I sure hope I’m not too out of shape and tired to travel after I hit fifty, but if that does happen I know I won’t look back and think “dang I wish I still had kids in the house so I could have traveled more before I became a mom.”

However, I’ve only traveled twice in the 14 years I’ve had kids. Kids definitely make travel harder and I unless you are reciprocating I don’t think it’s fair to expect family to frequently take care of your kids so you can do cool stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wanted to be done having kids by 30. My reasons were:
-Wanted to be a young mom
-Wanted my parents and in laws to be young grandparents
-Liked the thought of kids out of the house before Dh and I are 50 as we love travel and adventure and thought it would be fun to have those years to look forward to together

We married at 26, bought a house at 27, kids at 27 and 29. Currently 33 and all is well so far.

Met at 26. Married at 28. But we waited 7 years to have our firstborn and spent those 7 years in luxury, traveling all around the world and even took a 6-month sabbatical in Europe and hit all the major festivals- Oktoberfest, love parade, tomato festival, etc. We also experienced crazy nightclub scene.

Traveling in your youth is different than when you are old. We will have both experiences. And those memories and time we had pre-kids made us never feel like we missed out. Dual income, no kids for 7 years also padded our portfolio tremendously.

See this is where you went wrong. You didn’t meet your person until 26. Practically an old maid. A smarter person would have met her person in college so she could get all that traveling and adventuring done by 26 in time to have 2 kids by 30 and still have all of her fifties free for luxurious travel and adventure. Sucks to be you. Sorry you did not plan your life very well.

See how silly and pretentious this sounds?!? That’s your post all over.