Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dd is 21, and we are taking her boyfriend on vacation with us this summer. If you have done this, what was the sleeping arrangement? We are a family of 5, so he will be the 6th. We are getting 2 hotel rooms. Do we go ahead and let them have one of the rooms? Or do we put girls in one and guys in the other? We all know that they obviously spend the night together all the time, so it kinda seems futile to separate them. But also not sure if it sends the wrong signal to my other kids who are teenagers. What do most people do in this situation? I see people on sm taking their kids’ boyfriends/girlfriends on trips and always wondered how that was handled!

Definitely girls in one room, guys in the other.
This is your simple solution.

What kind of lunatics put a daughters BF in a hotel room with his GF’s dad and brother?! That is so weird. Reminds me of Meet the Parents only worse. I don’t care how “outgoing” the kid is (and if he’s polite he’s obviously going to go along) but there is no way he’s comfortable with that.

Is this a WASP thing? So gross.

No. WASPs tend to be intensely private. 3 rooms.

[Anonymous]

3 rooms is the only answer. Daughter and boyfriend can chip in or pay if money is the issue.

[Anonymous]

You would have a man share a bed with your HS son? No.

Protect you kids.

Three rooms.

[Anonymous]

Go someplace cheaper where you can afford a large Airbnb. You'll have a better vacation without making anyone uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

All these people are nutters. My husband and I shared a room with my brother and his wife once on a trip to Disney (all of us in our 20s) and it was perfectly fine, with no funny business. I vote all the kids in one room, boys in one bed and the sisters in another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can people stop suggesting 3 rooms now? OP said they're used to piling 5 into a room. 3 rooms ain't happening here.

Then the boyfriend tagging along just shouldn’t be happening. It’s just weird and inappropriate to make your two teenage kids share a room with your adult daughter and her boyfriend (regardless of whether they claim to be okay with it) and also wildly unfair to expect your two teenage kids to bunk with their parents for a vacation so that adult daughter and boyfriend(who presumably aren’t contributing to the vacation cost) can have their own room.

It's 3 college kids and a HS kid so I really don't think it's that weird. When I was in college I piled into many a hotel room with 6+ people, some I knew better than others.

There’s a big difference between you opting to sleep with a group of friends/acquaintances when traveling on a vacation of your choosing versus being forced by your parents to share a room with your sister and her boyfriend.

I missed where OP said she was forcing this young man to come on vacation. That changes my answer entirely. There is no bedroom arrangement that makes up for that.

Clearly I’m talking about op’s own teenaged kids being forced to share a room with their older sister and her boyfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All these people are nutters. My husband and I shared a room with my brother and his wife once on a trip to Disney (all of us in our 20s) and it was perfectly fine, with no funny business. I vote all the kids in one room, boys in one bed and the sisters in another.

You were all adults, all paying, all on equal footing. Not the same scenario.

[Anonymous]

They are adults and should be treated as such. They sleep together. It is actually more awkward for everyone the other way. Imagine sharing a hotel room with him. That is really weird.

The parents paying for the trip are adults, too, and they also sleep together. Imagine them sharing a room with their teens in order to give the college couple their own room. No way!

[Anonymous]

Why can’t all the kids share a room and you and DH get your own room. Your DD and her boyfriend will just have to abstain from having sex in the hotel room.

This is what we did. I can't even imagine telling my DH we were going to share a room with our other kids so that DD and boyfriend could have their own room. LOL.

[Anonymous]

At 21 they are old enough to share a room. In this scenario I don't think it's appropriate for parents to be split up and rooms to be divided by gender. You wouldn't do this if the boyfriend wasn't there, would you? Either you spring for the 3rd room so you have a kids/parents/college couple setup or you sacrifice your comfort and your teens' comfort so the college couple can have some privacy. I know what I would do.

Do you always let your kids run your life? Ridiculous. If they can't afford a third room, parents definitely get their own and all kids share. If the BF isn't comfortable with this he shouldn't go.

[Anonymous]

OP, in your situation we put all "kids" in the same room. Our other kids love our DD's bf and he has spent lots of time with us, and they had a lot of fun. BF appreciated just being included.

[Anonymous]

Younger sister has to lie in bed at night, listing to her sister and boyfriend having sex? That's awful

What kind of kids are people on here raising? Surely DD and BF can go a few nights abstaining from sex. My god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Why can’t all the kids share a room and you and DH get your own room. Your DD and her boyfriend will just have to abstain from having sex in the hotel room.

This is what we did. I can't even imagine telling my DH we were going to share a room with our other kids so that DD and boyfriend could have their own room. LOL.

I similarly can’t imagine telling my teenage daughter that she’s going to share a room with her sister’s boyfriend. Why can’t he just stay home from this trip if neither he nor the parents are able to spring for separate accommodations?

[Anonymous]

We’d absolutely get 4 rooms because HS/College siblings of opposite sex don’t want to share a hotel room either (unless it’s a 2 BR). Do you people not require any kind of privacy?

Do you and your kids not have any sense of the value of a dollar? We have four kids mixed genders, in teens and 20s, and they are totally fine sharing rooms as long as they have their own beds. They have all the privacy they need in the bathroom, etc. We could definitely afford extra rooms but you suggesting four rooms in this case is beyond ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t afford enough hotel rooms to make people feel comfortable on the vacation, you can’t afford the “vacation.” Three rooms or don’t go. Just no. YOU are the crazy ILs everyone complains about, and you’re not even ILs yet!!!

You sound like a lunatic. We went to Europe last summer with two kids and our son's GF. Our hotel was $1100/night. We got two rooms with our two DS and one GF in one room. Our kids were appreciative, not complaining. We have plenty of money but getting a third room would have been wasting it.