Taking adult child’s boyfriend on vacation - sleeping arrangement???

[Anonymous]

Dd is 21, and we are taking her boyfriend on vacation with us this summer. If you have done this, what was the sleeping arrangement? We are a family of 5, so he will be the 6th. We are getting 2 hotel rooms. Do we go ahead and let them have one of the rooms? Or do we put girls in one and guys in the other? We all know that they obviously spend the night together all the time, so it kinda seems futile to separate them. But also not sure if it sends the wrong signal to my other kids who are teenagers. What do most people do in this situation? I see people on sm taking their kids’ boyfriends/girlfriends on trips and always wondered how that was handled!

[Anonymous]

They’re adults. Let them sleep together. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to sleep in a room with my MIL and SIL, so I’d likely decline any trip that has that stipulation. He may feel the same.

[Anonymous]

I didn't have sex until I married at 31 and would have been uncomfortable being forced to share a room by his parents with my boyfriend at 21. At the same time, it's weird to force her to stay with same-sex strangers she likely doesn't know.

A large vacation rental solves this problem (and many others).

[Anonymous]

My kids are tweens. But my own parents and friends' parents generally had us in separate rooms while still in college. Also, in your case, it seems like giving them a whole room while the rest of the four of you share is slightly unfair to your teens. Not sure. Why don't you ask your daughter what she thinks is fair and appropriate. Does her BF know you guys enough to be in a room "with the guys" -- assume that is DH and one of your teens?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re adults. Let them sleep together. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to sleep in a room with my MIL and SIL, so I’d likely decline any trip that has that stipulation. He may feel the same.

They aren’t married and likely aren’t paying for the hotel room. So not adults in that way.

I would split by genders.

[Anonymous]

They are adults and should be treated as such. They sleep together. It is actually more awkward for everyone the other way. Imagine sharing a hotel room with him. That is really weird.

[Anonymous]

what are the sexes of your other two kids? If they're boys, put them with the boyfriend ?

[Anonymous]

There is no world in which I'd do this trip with two hotel rooms.

You're either creating a guys/girls situation, which will be incredibly awkward for your daughter and her boyfriend - he, especially, should have the opportunity to have a bit of privacy in the midst of your family.

Or you're putting your kid/her boyfriend in their own room while you and your other kids share a room and somehow giving their relationship primacy over that of you/your spouse.

[Anonymous]

split by gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what are the sexes of your other two kids? If they're boys, put them with the boyfriend ?

What are their ages? Would you really want to make you DD's BF chaperone or babysit your kids on vacation?

[Anonymous]

So it would be you, DH, and two teens in one room, and your DD and her boyfriend in their own room? LOL no. Nothing to do with them having sex but that seems really cramped and uncomfortable for the 4 full-size people one room.

[Anonymous]

2 hotel rooms is tight. I’d take one room for DH and me and all the “kids” in the other. Or men/women. I would not give the 2 of them one room and have us squeeze into the other. For beach houses when we have the space I give them a room. (I’ve evolved to this thinking — my parents would be rolling in their graves).

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you should get three rooms. Two rooms for 6 people is cramped. If you do two rooms only, I guess I would give them their own room. Why is he coming along again?

[Anonymous]

I assume if they are 21 now they will be graduated from college during the summer. I also assume you can afford a third room since you set up the question, but I might be wrong.

If you can afford it, I think it would be absurd to have them not get their own room.

I don't think this sets a bad example for your other kids to see them share a room: they are adults. Are you saying you are generally opposed to unmarried people living together and you are trying to impart this to your kids?

If you must have them share rooms, I'd get a regular room for you and your DH and a suite for "the kids" with at least 2 separate queen beds (room and sofa, etc...), and let them work it out. And I'd make sure your adult daughter knows this ahead of time, and pitch it as budget not values. Also make sure your other kids are OK sharing a room with someone they do not know. Under no circumstances would I split boys and girls: that's laughable archaic and weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So it would be you, DH, and two teens in one room, and your DD and her boyfriend in their own room? LOL no. Nothing to do with them having sex but that seems really cramped and uncomfortable for the 4 full-size people one room.

+1 There is no good or even semi reasonable arrangement for this scenario. Either spring for more bedrooms or don’t bring the boyfriend.