“Shamed” for Thanksgiving contribution to school

[Anonymous]

i would pass her attitude on to her superior. this is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had this happen to me before. In my opinion (from what I see with my family), this is why a lot of poor are poor these days. So many people will not use generic and think you should be "treating yourself". I sort of get it, being poor is hard. Their lives aren't great, so they figure they might as well enjoy whatever they can (the brand name food), spend money while they have it because it might not be there tomorrow.

I had a similar reaction, she sounds rude but also dumb. I make a lot more than a school admin but we buy plenty of genetic brand stuff. It's called making informed decisions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

It doesn't really sound like they need our donations. What organization is this, PP?

I'm not going to specify the church, but it's true of any food pantry that is serving a significant part of the community. And you are absolutely correct that they really don't need your donations. I'm not saying don't do it, whatever is donated gets distributed and added to the top of the standard boxes. So if PP brings in 20 boxes of $0.20 Target macaroni and cheese, then 20 boxes will get one of those thrown on top. Cool.

If you're looking for the workers to be super grateful that you're bringing a few boxes of mac and cheese, you're asking a lot. I agree that commenting on whether something is generic is bullsh1t, though.

I get it; I've noticed over the years that Goodwill workers tend to act like they're doing me a favor when they take all the crap from my SUV on Decluttering Saturdays. But the truth is, they are. Most of it's headed to the landfill, anyway. Nobody actually needs all this used clothes.

Yup, can concur. The workplace food drives, Larla bringing in her great deal on cereal, etc. It's more about the giver getting to feel good, and having good photo ops for social media around the holidays. It's definitely less about fulfilling community needs.

+100
it is the reality and there is nothing wrong with it but people should realize it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

I appreciate your post PP and learned from it but have to say it does sound like those that receive are being extremely ungrateful. My 3 year old knows better than to complain when others help you.

[Anonymous]

She's a weirdo, ignore.

[Anonymous]

The real question is why would they accept cream cheese as a donation if it’s perishable? Are they planning on refrigerating it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had this happen to me before. In my opinion (from what I see with my family), this is why a lot of poor are poor these days. So many people will not use generic and think you should be "treating yourself". I sort of get it, being poor is hard. Their lives aren't great, so they figure they might as well enjoy whatever they can (the brand name food), spend money while they have it because it might not be there tomorrow.

I had a similar reaction, she sounds rude but also dumb. I make a lot more than a school admin but we buy plenty of genetic brand stuff. It's called making informed decisions.

Wow you make more than an admin congrats

[Anonymous]

WTF. Why do you care what she thought? "Yeah, I bought generic. Do you want it or not?"

Do adults really obsess about what other people think about them?? I just don't get it. This wouldn't even make me think twice about what she said. IDGAF what she thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

Or maybe it was they didn't actually realize that people with more money weren't always buying the brand name and generic was good enough for them a lot of the time. If they never were middle class , then how would they know this? Maybe it's better that we don't pretend that middle class and upper middle class people use generic products and forgo brand names because neither of those things matter. Brand name cream cheese doesn't make you rich.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like some poorer people don't realize thata large number of middle class people buy generic and store brands most of the time.

[Anonymous]

Generic Mac and cheese is legitimately always way worse than Kraft so I kind of get it. No difference with cream cheese though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

It doesn't really sound like they need our donations. What organization is this, PP?

I'm not going to specify the church, but it's true of any food pantry that is serving a significant part of the community. And you are absolutely correct that they really don't need your donations. I'm not saying don't do it, whatever is donated gets distributed and added to the top of the standard boxes. So if PP brings in 20 boxes of $0.20 Target macaroni and cheese, then 20 boxes will get one of those thrown on top. Cool.

If you're looking for the workers to be super grateful that you're bringing a few boxes of mac and cheese, you're asking a lot. I agree that commenting on whether something is generic is bullsh1t, though.

I get it; I've noticed over the years that Goodwill workers tend to act like they're doing me a favor when they take all the crap from my SUV on Decluttering Saturdays. But the truth is, they are. Most of it's headed to the landfill, anyway. Nobody actually needs all this used clothes.

Yup, can concur. The workplace food drives, Larla bringing in her great deal on cereal, etc. It's more about the giver getting to feel good, and having good photo ops for social media around the holidays. It's definitely less about fulfilling community needs.

+100
it is the reality and there is nothing wrong with it but people should realize it

People who give to charity have a right to feel good about themselves. That doesn't mean they don't care about the recipients.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Generic Mac and cheese is legitimately always way worse than Kraft so I kind of get it. No difference with cream cheese though.

Uh, no. It's delicious. It's way more orange and way more salty. You literally cannot go wrong with boxed mac n cheese, any brand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

You are less than. You're receiving free food from someone who paid for it and gave it to you because you couldn't afford to buy it yourself. Are we supposed to pretend you're equals? You're not. Nothing wrong with that -- I've been there myself -- but it is what it is.

Np. Wow.