Pendente Lite Guideline vs Actual Spousal Support (in VA) -- How did it compare in your case? SAHM

[Anonymous]

It’s the raw entitlement on this thread that is so jarring to me. Circumstances changed and it didn’t work out. If you aren’t disabled, go to work and take care of yourself.

Nobody owes you anything, you’re an adult.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

Correct, which is why private school and college tuition can only be part of assets/property settlement. If you say in MSA it's part of CS, the ex spouse will run back to court and reduce it next day the ink dries on your paperwork

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s the raw entitlement on this thread that is so jarring to me. Circumstances changed and it didn’t work out. If you aren’t disabled, go to work and take care of yourself.

Nobody owes you anything, you’re an adult.

Cool when a 16 y.o. is told this. And I would take it as guidance if I ever remarry

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

When noone is obligated to pay by anything upon divorce, nobody usually pays for it! I chose to negotiate and was able to grab at least the tuition for my son. Who knows what would have happened in 4 years after divorce, maybe by then my exH would remarry and his new wife tells him dont' pay tuition. Now he's on hook for it potentially would loose his house if he doesn't pay. Property settlements are strong agreements.

If I was a mom like you, then I would have said "oh f..k I am not spending extra $30K on good divorce attorneys just for my kids to get their college tuition"!

I'm not obligated in my settlement to pay college tuition, but I am absolutely going to pay for it. I'm not even mad that my ex probably won't pay anything.

No amount of spending on attorneys can make your STBX agree to pay college tuition if he or she doesn't want to.

Good for you that you can afford college tuition. I could not, and thus I fought for it. There are ways of legal pressure during the divorce negotiations and discovery when you can get things you need. My exH didnt want a disclosure of his extra marital affairs in open hearing. So he signed it

Good for you that you were married to a cheater who yielded to legal pressure. Plenty of people didn't divorce someone who could be pressured. Plenty of men are shameless enough that they'd say go ahead and disclose my affairs, so what. My ex was just a dud, and I didn't get everything I wanted because my lawyer said "if we go to court you probably won't get this".

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

And at this point if you do not understand that child support does not cover schooling and that 18-21 year olds still have to eat and sleep and take care of themselves during school and on breaks, I don't know what to tell you. There are more expenses for college students than just tuition and this is getting tiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

(shrug) Well I disagree. It is and should be optional.

[Anonymous]

I responded to my own comment above for clarity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

(shrug) Well I disagree. It is and should be optional.

Fine but then you are telling your children that they should have to pay for their own necessities during school and take out a loan to do so. Just own that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

I am the PP from DC and I agree that CS in all states should be by age 21. Because everyone needs an associate degree to be employable. At least I can go try arguing in court that my son's living expenses in college should be covered as necessities since he has no time to work and both study full time. And regardless of what part time job he gets in college it won't be enough to support himself, even in a group house!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

And at this point if you do not understand that child support does not cover schooling and that 18-21 year olds still have to eat and sleep and take care of themselves during school and on breaks, I don't know what to tell you. There are more expenses for college students than just tuition and this is getting tiring.

I understand perfectly that 18-21yo have to have food, clothing, and shelter, but parents are not obligated to pay for it, nor should they be. Your UMC striver concept of "necessity" is what is irrelevant and tiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

And at this point if you do not understand that child support does not cover schooling and that 18-21 year olds still have to eat and sleep and take care of themselves during school and on breaks, I don't know what to tell you. There are more expenses for college students than just tuition and this is getting tiring.

I understand perfectly that 18-21yo have to have food, clothing, and shelter, but parents are not obligated to pay for it, nor should they be. Your UMC striver concept of "necessity" is what is irrelevant and tiring.

UMC striver for an associates degree? Hardly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

(shrug) Well I disagree. It is and should be optional.

Fine but then you are telling your children that they should have to pay for their own necessities during school and take out a loan to do so. Just own that.

My kids will understand that I am paying for their food/clothing/shelter during college just like I am paying for their tuition but that is because I chose to do so, not because the government or the court forced me to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It depends. I got alimony for life. I was married for 24 years. I was a SAHM. My ex is a doctor with a high salary.

Which state and percentage of his salary were you awarded, age at the time of divorce?

Age, 48. I get $120,00 a year tax free for the first 8 years. My alimony goes down every year till I reach the age of 65. After that I get $36,000 a year tax free.

He makes $650,000 a year.

My a..hole exH was "fired" just as I filed for divorce. Then went back to the same company as a "consultant", right after signing the settlement agreement.

How do you plan for your retirement? It's a nice alimony but without assets or savings after 65 y.o. it will be tight..

You need to work. There’s no reason an able bodied 48 year old can’t get a job.

I work and happy without his alimony. But I was just lucky to secure a job after 10 years SAHM. This doesn't change the fact that he's a a-hole. Who "fires" himself and gets severance at 54, just so he didn't have to pay alimony and higher CS? He basically ripped off his own child.

His income 1st year after divorce was settled is $2mm/year. I am taking him back to court for a different child support in the fall. If I make 150K and he makes $2mm, there is something wrong with him paying only $1300/month in CS!

Most judges would not have called him out on the timing of his "firing." Also, most lawyers would have hired a professional to determine his earning potential. I'd go back to court on this one.

Meant: Most judges would have called him out

My salary is higher than what his alimony would have been, and I am building my resume. Going to court back than trying to call him out meant missing another 2 years of my life, work history and health, in addition to $200K in legal fees. He also could had forced sale of marital assets causing me even higher financial harm vs me just loosing his alimony. So I settled and got marital assets I wanted intact.

I know that alimony cannot be changed after I signed MSA, but I am taking him back to court for the child support. He's incredibly cheap with our son, and refuses to pay his college expenses.

What state did you divorce in?

DC

Oh I thought DC covers college? Or is it just that CS continues through 21?

No DC doesn't cover college, only CS through 21. But as everyone goes to college and CS is based on the child's needs, the college becomes a need. That's what I am going to argue when I take my ex back to court this fall. Son is finishing HS next year

You don't need to go to college. Everyone does not go to college. No child is entitled to go to college, not even the children of DCUM parents.

No they don't but at the same time why are we encouraging our offspring to be in lower paid positions than we are in? It doesn't make sense and even if you are in a trade there are trade costs and low pay in those fields to start. And for instance, we had done 3 years of prepaid tuition for each of our kids, so obviously the plan was for the kids to go to college in Virginia, so I think child support should have been covered for those years.

You want your kids to go to college and you encourage it but this is not a need in the same sense as providing food/clothing/shelter, which is the intent of child support, and therefore college should not be covered in child support. You might as well argue that piano lessons and travel soccer should be automatically covered in child support.

No dum dum. Piano lessons are not part of child support. Basic necessities are and that’s all that child support covers. I’m saying that kids should be supported with basic necessities till 21 since at a minimum most kids need at least community college to get a job. It is really upsetting that men just want their kids to have no skills but most jobs these days will not hire you without an associates and so kids should be covered in living expenses till then

Yes, dum dum, basic necessities are part of CS and that’s all that CS covers. That was exactly my point. College tuition is NOT a basic necessity however much you want it to be.

Yes of course I want my kids to have skills, dum dum, but they are not entitled to go to college and no parent is or should be obligated to pay for it.

Child support DOES NOT cover private school or college. It covers basic necessities. I’ve told you this now about five times. It should be continued till a kid has a job that can cover these.

I'm not sure if it's you or not, but someone keeps arguing that CS should cover college tuition. And no, it should not be continued "until a kid has a job that can cover basic necessities". Among other things this encourages kids not to get a job. When you're legally an adult, get out of the nest. Live in a group house or whatever you need to do.

No you are misunderstanding the argument. Right now in Virginia parents don't have to pay for any child support beyond age 18 or till they finish high school. I am advocating that child support be extended till children finish college up to age 21 which I believe is the law in DC now. If 90% of the jobs that are above the level for free and reduced meals require an associates degree, then really it's a requirement for the jobs in this area for 90% of kids, so it shouldn't be optional that necessities be covered. If you are attending college you don't have the time to raise money to pay for your necessities. At most you have money to pay for your books and computer and other school supplies.

(shrug) Well I disagree. It is and should be optional.

Fine but then you are telling your children that they should have to pay for their own necessities during school and take out a loan to do so. Just own that.

My kids will understand that I am paying for their food/clothing/shelter during college just like I am paying for their tuition but that is because I chose to do so, not because the government or the court forced me to.

OK, but there would be 90% of other dads who would just not pay anything. And that's not ok because it means a dramatic chance in life style, future perspectives, potential high interest loans for kids just to get an associate degree