My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

Yikes

[Anonymous]

How sweet of the neighbor to host her DD's baby shower for 2nd baby! I love it when family hosts. Why should friends bear the cost and effort of hosting showers? That is such entitlement and imposition.

[Anonymous]

I see showers as parties and a way to hang out with family and friends. Also all that good food!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see showers as parties and a way to hang out with family and friends. Also all that good food!!

Just with a gift as an entry fee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kinda tacky.
When hosted by a family member, it reeks of gift grubbing. That is, the family can't provide the necessities but they want to make sure to claw the stuff from their friends.

So how is it better that friends take on the expense of hosting and all attending still bring a gift?

Agreed.

For me, baby showers are a way to welcome the new life and celebrate the expansion of a family. Why is the second child not worth celebrating? And good that the family throws the party/shower because they are bearing all the cost of hosting. No one need to buy gifts if they don't want to but mostly everyone is also excited to attend.

Of course, OP has a personality disorder that triggers her when other throw parties. That can't be helped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see showers as parties and a way to hang out with family and friends. Also all that good food!!

Just with a gift as an entry fee.

Well, I am used to bringing hostess gifts, wine and food to most any party I attend. I also give generous amounts of cash gifts on weddings. I have been raised well and without the soul sucking poverty that people like OP has experienced, so bringing gifts to other actually brings me joy. And buying baby gifts? OMG! They are the best. So cute, so tiny, so much fun!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see showers as parties and a way to hang out with family and friends. Also all that good food!!

Just with a gift as an entry fee.

NP. Oh no, I have to provide a gift for someone I love who’s having a baby? And then I have to hang out with a big group of people who I also love, and eat appetizers and have mimosas? Quelle horreur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

I guess I’m just a lowly middle class person, because most people that I know had a shower for each baby (it’s fun, why not?) and who cares if a relative hosts the party? I never heard any of those rules until reading DCUM.

These are not uncommon “rules” just because you never heard of them.

NP. Regardless of whether PP has heard of them, they are outdated. These rules are for people who need to fetch their smelling salts when someone wears white after Labor Day.

You don’t get to decide if it’s outdated. It is tacky, very tacky and a grab. Everyone with any sense knows that.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

In my culture, baby showers are hosted by immediate family member. Gifts are not important but MIL and Mom gives jewelry to the mom-to-be. Elaborate hot lunch or dinner is served to all after a religious ceremony. People avoid calling people who they will give bad vibes to the mom to be. Since you are being judge-y, you should certainly not go, because your negativity can harm the baby and the mom. Perhaps even the grandmother also, since you said that your own mom and grandmom are dead.

See how it works? In my culture, someone like you is inauspicious. At least that is what I was taught.

Your culture is irrelevant.

And you are an inauspicious jealous harpy. Shoo, shoo...go back in your sewer home, ugly!! Don't taint someone else's happiness.

Oof. Sorry you’re a loon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

I guess I’m just a lowly middle class person, because most people that I know had a shower for each baby (it’s fun, why not?) and who cares if a relative hosts the party? I never heard any of those rules until reading DCUM.

These are not uncommon “rules” just because you never heard of them.

NP. Regardless of whether PP has heard of them, they are outdated. These rules are for people who need to fetch their smelling salts when someone wears white after Labor Day.

You don’t get to decide if it’s outdated. It is tacky, very tacky and a grab. Everyone with any sense knows that.

+1,000

Explain how a shower thrown by family is a tacky gift grab, and one thrown by a friend is not. TIA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Anyone who does this is a HORRIBLE MOTHER. 2nd and 3rd babies are equally deserving of nice thing. 1st borns shouldn't be raised into entitled pricks. Where is your neighbor registered? I want to send a gift just to spite the pompous older sibling syndrome. Not all firstborns are jerks.

It’s not spoiling the baby. it’s spoiling the entitled mother.

You already had your shower. Use the things you were already given for free for your subsequent babies and buy your own diapers, Oh Cheap One.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

In my culture, baby showers are hosted by immediate family member. Gifts are not important but MIL and Mom gives jewelry to the mom-to-be. Elaborate hot lunch or dinner is served to all after a religious ceremony. People avoid calling people who they will give bad vibes to the mom to be. Since you are being judge-y, you should certainly not go, because your negativity can harm the baby and the mom. Perhaps even the grandmother also, since you said that your own mom and grandmom are dead.

See how it works? In my culture, someone like you is inauspicious. At least that is what I was taught.

Your culture is irrelevant.

And you are an inauspicious jealous harpy. Shoo, shoo...go back in your sewer home, ugly!! Don't taint someone else's happiness.

NP-Is it also your culture one of low intelligence?

Can you interpret a graph, moron?


Find more statistics at Statista

Feeling the need to send that only cemented how poor your intellect is.

+1. Desperation

+2. Too funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Those aren't the rules anymore grandma. You probably also think people can't wear white before Memorial Day.

NP and no. I’m 27 and know it’s considered rude for mothers to host daughters baby and wedding showers. And absolutely no shower after first baby (or wedding).

It makes sense if you think about it. If your mother can afford to host a shower for you then she can also afford to get you what you need. After the first baby you should have the essentials.

Showers are celebrations. They don't always have to have a practical get you what you need thing. Anyone who has ever received a baby bathrobe as a shower gift will know that.

Sorry no one cared enough about you to celebrate life changing events for you.

Thanks, dear, but I’m loved but not greedy. One shower for the first baby was enough. I can afford to clothe my second baby.

And, news flash! - you can celebrate and be celebrated without begging for gifts!!

Summed it up perfectly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

That is so sweet. I have a huge gap between DD and DS too. DD was so about becoming a big sister that she and DH hosted a surprise baby shower and invited our family. I ended up getting 3 more baby-showers thrown by friends, neighbors and co-workers. LOL. And we were comfortably UMC by baby 2, so I was actually already buying high-end designer stuff that I liked. But, it was so sweet to have my pregnancy and happiness celebrated. I was also in the same shoes as you, I had already given away my baby stuff to others, convinced that I had secondary infertility.

With my firstborn, we had recently bought a brand new SFH, so we were stretched. But, I was thrown a beautiful surprise babyshower by a very close friend and got gifts from Target that very truly precious to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

I guess I’m just a lowly middle class person, because most people that I know had a shower for each baby (it’s fun, why not?) and who cares if a relative hosts the party? I never heard any of those rules until reading DCUM.

These are not uncommon “rules” just because you never heard of them.

NP. Regardless of whether PP has heard of them, they are outdated. These rules are for people who need to fetch their smelling salts when someone wears white after Labor Day.

You don’t get to decide if it’s outdated. It is tacky, very tacky and a grab. Everyone with any sense knows that.

+1,000

Explain how a shower thrown by family is a tacky gift grab, and one thrown by a friend is not. TIA.

Any showers after the first baby are tacky gift grabs. You’re welcome.