My neighbor hosted her own daughter’s baby shower for her 2nd baby

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Those aren't the rules anymore grandma. You probably also think people can't wear white before Memorial Day.

NP and no. I’m 27 and know it’s considered rude for mothers to host daughters baby and wedding showers. And absolutely no shower after first baby (or wedding).

It makes sense if you think about it. If your mother can afford to host a shower for you then she can also afford to get you what you need. After the first baby you should have the essentials.

Showers are celebrations. They don't always have to have a practical get you what you need thing. Anyone who has ever received a baby bathrobe as a shower gift will know that.

Sorry no one cared enough about you to celebrate life changing events for you.

Thanks, dear, but I’m loved but not greedy. One shower for the first baby was enough. I can afford to clothe my second baby.

And, news flash! - you can celebrate and be celebrated without begging for gifts!!

There was no begging for gifts.

With your nasty personality I understand why no one celebrated your second child. Probably not your first either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the issue.

I have attend a very large self hosted baby shower for someone’s surprise 3rd baby. The two children were much older so they didn’t have any baby stuff.

My mom and teen daughter hosted my 2nd baby shower for me at my house. I would have preferred not to have one, but they insisted on doing it. My 2nd was also an oops baby and I didn’t have anything.

Most people aren’t hosting baby showers to get gifts with the amount of planning and cost that goes into hosting.

Well if they aren’t hosting for gifts then they would so no gifts.
By the way, you said you had a second baby shower and didn’t have anything. You wanted gifts.

No. I didn’t want any gifts. We are upper middle class and have more than enough money. I actually hate getting gifts and prefer to buy my own stuff. I did not register anywhere. My teen daughter and mother insisted on having it. I wasn’t keen on the idea, but I caved for them. I believe many people who have 2nd baby showers are talked into it because close friends or family are really excited for them. My point in saying that I didn’t have any baby stuff is because it really was like starting from scratch given there was a 13 year span with my first child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe so many posters don’t see anything wrong with this! Guys, it’s rude and you’re being taken advantage of!

You get one baby shower for your first baby - that’s it, And your mother should not be the one hosting.

Our generation is getting a really unpleasant reputation as the Me, Me, Me Generation with our ridiculous Sprinkles, Gender Reveal parties, etc. Obvious gift grabs.

Having multiple parties is not the same thing as having one party that your mom hosts. It’s not 1950. Your mom or your sister can host your party.

+1

A party - yes. But not a shower.

Yes, they can also host your shower. You also don’t need to wear pantyhose anymore, and gay people can get married now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Those aren't the rules anymore grandma. You probably also think people can't wear white before Memorial Day.

NP and no. I’m 27 and know it’s considered rude for mothers to host daughters baby and wedding showers. And absolutely no shower after first baby (or wedding).

It makes sense if you think about it. If your mother can afford to host a shower for you then she can also afford to get you what you need. After the first baby you should have the essentials.

Showers are celebrations. They don't always have to have a practical get you what you need thing. Anyone who has ever received a baby bathrobe as a shower gift will know that.

Sorry no one cared enough about you to celebrate life changing events for you.

Thanks, dear, but I’m loved but not greedy. One shower for the first baby was enough. I can afford to clothe my second baby.

And, news flash! - you can celebrate and be celebrated without begging for gifts!!

I had enough to buy clothes and supplies for my first baby.

[Anonymous]

Kinda tacky.
When hosted by a family member, it reeks of gift grubbing. That is, the family can't provide the necessities but they want to make sure to claw the stuff from their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinda tacky.
When hosted by a family member, it reeks of gift grubbing. That is, the family can't provide the necessities but they want to make sure to claw the stuff from their friends.

So how is it better that friends take on the expense of hosting and all attending still bring a gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kinda tacky.
When hosted by a family member, it reeks of gift grubbing. That is, the family can't provide the necessities but they want to make sure to claw the stuff from their friends.

That makes no sense. A gift grab is a gift grab (not “grub”, btw) whether the shower is thrown by the mother or a friend. Having it thrown by a non-family member does not imbue some magical quality that makes it *not* a party where gifts are expected.

[Anonymous]

Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think shower are stupid and I never go unless I have to. Do y’all even have fun at them?

Yes! I love an afternoon party. I also always enjoy parties that are mostly/all women. I love to dress up a bit, have a few drinks but be in my bed early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly - have a celebratory party and say “no gifts.” Then it’s not tacky at all. People just want more free stuff, especially when most of the invitees are the wealthier older generation (instead of the bride/mom-to-be’s friends.)

I agree with this generally but I think the book thing is good middle ground. A lot of people enjoy giving a gift for the baby and will resist/misunderstand the no gift thing.

[Anonymous]

I didn't even know there were rules. My best friend, a guy, threw my baby shower. There were 7 guests -- 4 guys, 3 gals. My mom knew nothing about baby showers and is not local anyway. My sister and I have not spoken for a decade.

So there goes that for rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Those aren't the rules anymore grandma. You probably also think people can't wear white before Memorial Day.

NP and no. I’m 27 and know it’s considered rude for mothers to host daughters baby and wedding showers. And absolutely no shower after first baby (or wedding).

It makes sense if you think about it. If your mother can afford to host a shower for you then she can also afford to get you what you need. After the first baby you should have the essentials.

Showers are celebrations. They don't always have to have a practical get you what you need thing. Anyone who has ever received a baby bathrobe as a shower gift will know that.

Sorry no one cared enough about you to celebrate life changing events for you.

Thanks, dear, but I’m loved but not greedy. One shower for the first baby was enough. I can afford to clothe my second baby.

And, news flash! - you can celebrate and be celebrated without begging for gifts!!

There was no begging for gifts.

With your nasty personality I understand why no one celebrated your second child. Probably not your first either.

Ironically, your personality is worse than just nasty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This etiquette is outdated.

I think it’s better for the mom to shell out money to host than to impose upon a friend.

I was a bridesmaid a million years ago, and the mother insisted that etiquette dictated the bridesmaids should foot the bill. As a law student, I really wasn’t equipped to host a fancy shower on top of the dress, shoes, makeup, salon/stylist, manicure, plus gift plus bachelorette trip. It was super annoying since the parents of both the bride and groom had nice homes and plenty of money.

Screw etiquette.

Ugh, cheapos hiding behind "etiquette" rules is truly something else

[Anonymous]

If it’s not a gift grab, say “no gifts” - otherwise it’s a gift grab.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

We celebrate every baby in my family. We don’t follow arbitrary rules.