I’m starting my late July birthday child (boy) in kindergarten on time.

[Anonymous]

I started my mid August boy on time. No issues so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

Yeah, there are a lot of posters here who definitely need to hear this, but they won’t. Their egos are too tied up in their children being the youngest. So they’ll continue to awkwardly bring up their child’s age in every conceivable situation, even it’s totally unrelated to the conversation at hand. They will not see the polite bored stares from the other parents who have to pretend to listen (but their kid will see those stares). They also won’t see their kid wishing they could be literally anywhere else in the world while they talk once again about their kid’s birthday. It’s too bad, but they just won’t hear the advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

[Anonymous]

My late July boy is in public school and just got accepted to the gifted program. He’s thriving socially and academically. You aren’t missing anything. You know your kid.

I will say that each year in Oct/Nov I see some work or other kids’ work and have a moment where I question our decision - and then like clockwork everything falls into place just after Christmas break. His teachers are never worried - just me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

It depends on the child. My fall kid is extremely bored on school even being the youngest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

[Anonymous]

We did this with two summer birthday kids and it’s been fine (boy and girl). Zero regrets. Both well above grade level and socially mature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Multiple kids is not the same as a experience with classrooms fulls of kids.

Sure. My sister the experienced teacher says the same thing, though. And she has many years of teaching experience.

NP. It very well may be correlation. My brother was red-shirted in the 90's at the suggestion of his preschool teacher. It was suggested because of behavioral problems. Everyone assumed the behavior would get better with age, and that the problem was social immaturity. If he were older, he would behave better, was the thinking. It was wrong. He still had behavioral problems in kindergarten, and it took years before things got better.

Boredom likely did inflame the problem, but the behavioral issues pre-existed the redshirting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

Also, it is one thing to be the youngest in a grade without the redshirting situation (like when us 40 somethings grew up) and its an entirely different thing to be the youngest among a group of kids who are actually supposed to be in the grade above you by many months. So all the adults here chiming in that they were the youngest didnt necessarily have the experience our kids are having now.

[Anonymous]

Places like the state of New York have banned redshirting approximately 10 years ago. Apart from severe developmental delays, it eliminates the disparity of age in same grade level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

Your younger one is developmentally on target. It’s your expectations that are the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just don’t be overly weird about your kid being young for grade, like a lot of DCUM posters are, and to be frank, you sound like you are heading towards. It’s just not that big a deal. Don’t brag about your kid being the youngest. Don’t teach them that it makes them somehow special. Don’t be invested in your kid’s identity as the youngest. Don’t drop their birthday into as many total unrelated conversations as you can, especially when they are standing right next to you. Don’t make a big deal about how much older some of their classmates are. Just please, if you possibly can, please be normal and not supremely weird about age.

Signed,
The youngest in the class

I think a lot of parents need to hear this.
Thank you.

I will say as a parent of a youngest, I rarely mention it. The only time I will is when the conversation turns to birthdays (like what month) and when I say her late July birthday, it’s almost always assumed that she’s turning a year older than she actually is. And that really irks me that the assumption is we held her vs. sending on time. Redshirting should be the exception, not the norm. I get a little annoyed feeling like we’re the odd ones for just sending our kid on time.

NP. Yes, this.
Where we live, our cutoff is Oct 15z My 3rd grader has kids in his grade, where August is the oldest redshirt. That is one thing. However things have drastically changed in the younger grades and my first grader with a June bday has many many kids a full year older than him. It is a thorn in our side now because other peoples choices to do this now impacts my son. Developmentally, kids grow a lot in one year. I see it with my older son every year he is just so much stronger, bigger, able to handle academics more, etc. So when my younger son is now doing everything with kids a year older than him, he is immediately at a disadvantage and on an unfair playing field. I can only imagine the opportunities he wont have for sports as he gets older considering he will be competing for spots on teams with kids who are a year older. So, for those of us with kids born in months that didnt used to be a redshirted month, but now it is and we didnt get that memo, it is very frustrating.

Hm. As a former youngest in the class, I am pretty skeptical that you both don’t mention it much and aren’t weird about it. You clearly spend a lot of time thinking about how old your kid is compared to the others. I just don’t believe that you spend all this time thinking about relative age and observing the entire class closely but then are totally chill about relative age. I’m sorry but as a youngest kid, that does not ring true to me.

I was the NP and didnt say I rarely mention it. I was saying "yes this" to how people assume now kids in July (and June) are redshirted. That its not the exception anymore, but I hadnt realized that before enrolling my kid, so yes it bothers me and I do think about it because I see how differently its playing out for my youngest than it has for my other son who is older for his grade. The older one just has more time developmentally. My youngest is just automatically catching up always.

Your younger one is developmentally on target. It’s your expectations that are the issue.

My expectations for my kid to be in same grade as kids his age? Im not an anti-redshirter. I understand why fall kids are held etc. Its the May/June kids that now create a problem for the May/June kids who were not held. And by problem, I mean, there is a lack of equity in being a full year older than classmates without any developmental delay etc. But I dont need to debate this, I was just chiming in with what I am seeing going on where I live and how its changed in the last few years from fall kids to now spring kids being redshirted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Places like the state of New York have banned redshirting approximately 10 years ago. Apart from severe developmental delays, it eliminates the disparity of age in same grade level.

Yes disparity of age in same grade level is exactly what Im talking about and now seeing for my first grader. He is 6 and hes been in class with 7 yr olds since September. There are 5 yr olds in preschool who will be 6 all of K while my kid is just turning 7 before second grade. Its simply an age disparity and Im sure the parents of the kids who are older for the grade are glad but for me as a parent of a younger kid it makes me feel that my kid got lost in the shuffle of it all and is being held to expectations now that his same age peers who are in lower grades are not being held to. Oh well, it is what it is.