So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Armchair analysis. Unless you reviewed their applications you have no real idea how they stood out. You go for the easy thing by noting their ethnicity. Because your sense of entitlement makes you unable to imagine they might have something interesting or unique to offer beyond demographics.

I say this as a mother of an intellectually brilliant white kid who got rejected or wait listed to 5 of their top choices. It is what it is.

Ps it’s kind of creepy you know those kids’ grades.

Everyone knows everything. These kids blab and complain. As you can see from their failure to be elected to any class office, they were not well-liked or respected by classmates or teachers (one was kicked out of dc’s chem class basically). So clearly not great recs. Funny that you insist on thinking they have some hidden charms just bc they are Hispanic though.

Almost as funny as you assuming they only got in because they’re Hispanic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Long overdue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Armchair analysis. Unless you reviewed their applications you have no real idea how they stood out. You go for the easy thing by noting their ethnicity. Because your sense of entitlement makes you unable to imagine they might have something interesting or unique to offer beyond demographics.

I say this as a mother of an intellectually brilliant white kid who got rejected or wait listed to 5 of their top choices. It is what it is.

Ps it’s kind of creepy you know those kids’ grades.

Everyone knows everything. These kids blab and complain. As you can see from their failure to be elected to any class office, they were not well-liked or respected by classmates or teachers (one was kicked out of dc’s chem class basically). So clearly not great recs. Funny that you insist on thinking they have some hidden charms just bc they are Hispanic though.

LOL on the class election assertion. Grow up. “Popularity” in the high school sense has nothing to do with how much kids are “liked.” And anyone who has moved on from a high school mentality would know that.

Also ther PP says nothing about their ethnicity means they have something interesting to offer a college. However you assume their ethnicity is the only or main reason they got in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Okay. You are supposed to be the adult here. It’s time to grow up and fake it until you make it. BTDT. My kid went from a largely Asian magnet high school and applied to SLACs. They are now attending their first choice, which is a great school and a great fit. My kid loves it and has had amazing opportunities. But most parents in my kid’s HS had never heard of the school and therefore assumed my kid had failed somehow because they were not attending a T30 with a nationally recognized name. And I got comments like, “why would you pay for a college no one has ever heard of”— which says more about their ignorance than my kid’s success in HS or lack thereof.

So, two part strategy:

1. Don’t get pulled into listing acceptances and rejections about immediate family and maybe on very close, non-catty supportive friend. Until a decision is made, say “Larlo has asked us not to discuss college admissions until has has made a decision.“. Then pivot to “does your kid know where they are going?”

2. Once a decision is made, put a smile on your face and fake enthusiasm. Look people in they eye, and say “Larlo has decided to attend Disappointment School and we are so excited for him.” You set the tone. Smile and look people in the eye. Refuse to apologize or admit disappointment or engage with cattiness. Buy the car sticker and the t- shirt. And remember your. Kid is watching and will take their cues about their college from you. So if you can’t find genuine pride and enthusiasm, yeah—fake it.

Plus, all the hard work was not for nothing. It was to prepare your kid to succeed in whatever college he attends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Okay. You are supposed to be the adult here. It’s time to grow up and fake it until you make it. BTDT. My kid went from a largely Asian magnet high school and applied to SLACs. They are now attending their first choice, which is a great school and a great fit. My kid loves it and has had amazing opportunities. But most parents in my kid’s HS had never heard of the school and therefore assumed my kid had failed somehow because they were not attending a T30 with a nationally recognized name. And I got comments like, “why would you pay for a college no one has ever heard of”— which says more about their ignorance than my kid’s success in HS or lack thereof.

So, two part strategy:

1. Don’t get pulled into listing acceptances and rejections about immediate family and maybe on very close, non-catty supportive friend. Until a decision is made, say “Larlo has asked us not to discuss college admissions until has has made a decision.“. Then pivot to “does your kid know where they are going?”

2. Once a decision is made, put a smile on your face and fake enthusiasm. Look people in they eye, and say “Larlo has decided to attend Disappointment School and we are so excited for him.” You set the tone. Smile and look people in the eye. Refuse to apologize or admit disappointment or engage with cattiness. Buy the car sticker and the t- shirt. And remember your. Kid is watching and will take their cues about their college from you. So if you can’t find genuine pride and enthusiasm, yeah—fake it.

Plus, all the hard work was not for nothing. It was to prepare your kid to succeed in whatever college he attends.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

You’re complaining about those schools??

[Anonymous]

Question for all these parents complaining about “lesser” kids taking up spots in the top tier schools. If top ranked schools are admitting all these unqualified applicants, why do you want YOUR kids to attend these schools that obviously have such low standards? Seems like if all these brilliant and high stats kids are only getting into safety schools, all those safety schools will be full of other brilliant and high stats kids and they’ll be crushing those dumb Yale and Amherst kids in the jobs and grad school markets.. So why do you want them to be in schools with kids you look down on anyway? If the top tier schools are doing it wrong, surely their reputations will take a tumble and you’d kid would be better off not having that diploma.

So the market will tell. If these schools truly are not selecting the best and brightest, they’ll lose their luster. Or we will see that they actually know what they are doing in looking beyond grades and test scores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

You thought the odds were additive, when they are independent of each other. Maybe your kid understood the math better than you did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Okay. You are supposed to be the adult here. It’s time to grow up and fake it until you make it. BTDT. My kid went from a largely Asian magnet high school and applied to SLACs. They are now attending their first choice, which is a great school and a great fit. My kid loves it and has had amazing opportunities. But most parents in my kid’s HS had never heard of the school and therefore assumed my kid had failed somehow because they were not attending a T30 with a nationally recognized name. And I got comments like, “why would you pay for a college no one has ever heard of”— which says more about their ignorance than my kid’s success in HS or lack thereof.

So, two part strategy:

1. Don’t get pulled into listing acceptances and rejections about immediate family and maybe on very close, non-catty supportive friend. Until a decision is made, say “Larlo has asked us not to discuss college admissions until has has made a decision.“. Then pivot to “does your kid know where they are going?”

2. Once a decision is made, put a smile on your face and fake enthusiasm. Look people in they eye, and say “Larlo has decided to attend Disappointment School and we are so excited for him.” You set the tone. Smile and look people in the eye. Refuse to apologize or admit disappointment or engage with cattiness. Buy the car sticker and the t- shirt. And remember your. Kid is watching and will take their cues about their college from you. So if you can’t find genuine pride and enthusiasm, yeah—fake it.

Plus, all the hard work was not for nothing. It was to prepare your kid to succeed in whatever college he attends.

You sound wise, and like you are a good parent to have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

OMG most rejected kids from top schools are “well within statistical range.” You can look at Naviance for any top schools and see tons of red Xs around and above a lone green check. When will parents learn that the stats just get you past the initial threshold. Having high stats is not a qualifier. Having low stats is a weed out. There’s a difference.

Parents of younger kids take note and understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question for all these parents complaining about “lesser” kids taking up spots in the top tier schools. If top ranked schools are admitting all these unqualified applicants, why do you want YOUR kids to attend these schools that obviously have such low standards? Seems like if all these brilliant and high stats kids are only getting into safety schools, all those safety schools will be full of other brilliant and high stats kids and they’ll be crushing those dumb Yale and Amherst kids in the jobs and grad school markets.. So why do you want them to be in schools with kids you look down on anyway? If the top tier schools are doing it wrong, surely their reputations will take a tumble and you’d kid would be better off not having that diploma.

So the market will tell. If these schools truly are not selecting the best and brightest, they’ll lose their luster. Or we will see that they actually know what they are doing in looking beyond grades and test scores.

It will take 20 years for these schools to lose any luster. Not a short term thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

You thought the odds were additive, when they are independent of each other. Maybe your kid understood the math better than you did.

Seriously, we need to make statistics a mandatory high school class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, we feel your pain. Our high-stats FCPS DC (4.41w/3.89uw, mid 1500s SAT, full IB diploma, most rigorous classes) was rejected or waitlisted at every single reach/hard target this week (Rice, WashU, NU, Mich, UCLA, Berkley etc.). Looks like the figurative University of Illinois for us.

These are all reaches. What were her matches/safeties? UVA or WM are at least as good as those schools, and a whole lot cheaper.

Message to parents of future applicants - help your kids have more realistic expectations

Our matches/safeties were Wisconsin, W&M, Pitt and a few others. DC is insisting on OOS--does not want to go to W&M and refused to apply to UVA (we insisted DC apply to one VA school and they grudgingly picked W&M). You make an excellent point about managing expectations. I was thinking that since DC was well within statistical range for every reach one would pan out since we applied to several--DC was rejected at an Ivy ED and UChi ED2. To DCs credit, they are accepting the news better than I am. DC worked really hard and we wanted them to be rewarded for it.

That shows a stunning lack of understanding of statistics and probability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really believe waitlists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the waitlist. I hope she is on a few waitlists. Hang in there. It will get better.

I hope this is true and wish everyone the best, but this is what they said last year as well and I don't think things turned out the way you think they would with high number of applicants.