So much disappointment this week

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tough week: mostly rejections. 34ACT, IB

UCLA - reject
Berkeley- reject
Hopkins- reject
UNC- waitlist
USC- in

It isn't really a tough week if you are in at USC assuming you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

No one is a shoe-in at a T5 school!!!!!!!!! What kind of simpletons have you been talking to?

Really, you did not "fail" your child in that it is his job to choose and get admitted to a college. You are not some puppet master.

It sounds like he worked really hard, which both of you should be proud of. Did he learn (e.g., content, study habits, more about himself?). If so, then it was not "all for nothing."

If you made a mistake it was spending the last four years --the end of his childhood--trying to "impress colleges."

That may have come across in his applications.

I hope that you can REALLy work on an attitude adjustment for the sake of your child. How is he supposed to cope with this setback, if you think he got into colleges where "clowns" go??? Is that what you thought when he added them to his list? When he wrote his supplemental essays? I do feel sorry for your child, and it is not because of how the admissions process went. It is because you both sound so confused about what matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

I hear you. We were in the same boat, and it was frustrating. Firstly, we want our kids to feel like their hard earned work has been seen, and that is tough when they are only admitted to safeties. When my DD was there, we talked a lot about the positives of those schools, and she got genuinely excited. We were lucky to get a top tier acceptance, but those safeties are still in the running. I hope yours will have more choices, but will be able to choose the best fit. I hope mine will too. But, the nosy nellies need to shut their yappers. They don't know how ridiculously brutal it has been this year. The numbers are shockingly different only 2 years ago. But, your kid won't need rank to prosper. Just keep looking for things to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Comparing reality to what you wish it was is a very quick way to depression. This probably sounds harsh, but it's meant with compassion. Those who are doing their best can by definition do no better, and learning to accept where their best gets them is an important skill to develop. Their will be many options for a good life regardless of where a young man who is photographic memory genius smart goes to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For all these “high stat” kids, how many of you are also submitting 4’s or 5’s from
Your AP tests to show that you actually earned the A? Thay may be the difference in many cases. Lots and lots of public high schools are handing out A’s way too easily. And as for SAT scores, does anyone find it weird that 1400
And 1500 scores seem like a dime a dozen these days? The curve is unreal which is even making those seem less valuable. You have to show you earned those A’s so you need AP Scores and you need excellent teacher recommendations.

They are still the same percentages. You're just either in circles of high achievers where the only people who tell their scores have high ones or paying too much attention to numbers on a anonymous forums where people can say whatever they want. A 1400 represents the around the 95th percentile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tough week: mostly rejections. 34ACT, IB

UCLA - reject
Berkeley- reject
Hopkins- reject
UNC- waitlist
USC- in

It isn't really a tough week if you are in at USC assuming you can afford it.

We can pay for it, but are pushing DC toward UVA bc it a better school and half the price. We wouldn mind paying 80k for Ivy, MIT, etc, but not for USC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's flat out depressing. I feel like I failed my child and I am not sure what else could have been done but all those years of striving for excellence, working so hard, dong so many ECs, choosing the hardest classes possible to impress colleges - it was all for nothing. With a virtual perfect academic record and a host of passionate ECs, he's rejected/wl everywhere he really wants to go.

He is in a safety schools that literally the class clowns get accepted to. I'm so sick of talking to people about it, everyone in our community assumed he was going to a T5 school - he is practically famous for being so smart - like photographic memory genius smart and they ask me about it constantly. They cant conceal their shock when I tell them the options. I cant deal with the reactions anymore.

Excuse me, mom, but what do you mean that YOU failed your child? Were you sitting on the admissions committee at top 5 schools, sabotaging his applications? Genuinely curious as to what role you think you played?

[Anonymous]

Best to just buckle up and enjoy the ride, because the problems & disappointment DO NOT end once your kid makes it through the gate (well, they end for the parent if you silence your phone). And I’m not taking about academics.

Parent of a college senior.

[Anonymous]

OP, that was us last year. The school counselor was even surprised by the lack of options our kid ended up with. But the good news was an acceptance at a safety school that seemed like a good fit and one that DC really liked. Thriving there now and super happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

If you can't demonstrate intelligence and hard work during four years of high school via GPA and rigor, sorry. The problem might be parents like you.

The SAT/ACT isn't an intelligence test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

You are wrong.

And you should try opening your mind to other ways that people can excel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

^^ Also, one was TO, the other gets extra time for ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Armchair analysis. Unless you reviewed their applications you have no real idea how they stood out. You go for the easy thing by noting their ethnicity. Because your sense of entitlement makes you unable to imagine they might have something interesting or unique to offer beyond demographics.

I say this as a mother of an intellectually brilliant white kid who got rejected or wait listed to 5 of their top choices. It is what it is.

Ps it’s kind of creepy you know those kids’ grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I really believe wait lists are going to move like never before given the surge in # of apps per student and you can attend only one school. I think schools will dramatically undershoot yield and need to go to the wait list.

I think schools accepted significant numbers ED, but agree wait lists will move. Unfortunately, we likely won't see movement before 5/1, when deposits are due.

Not true. DS was WL at a school and 1 week later moved to accepted. This was 2019 but it’s not uncommon to hear back well Before May 1.

Please. 2019 may as well have been in another century. This and the last election cycle are markedly different from the ones before.

Sincerely,

Parent with relative in the admissions business

Exactly. Test optional has revolutionized admissions.

I am not going to be PC - how do the truly intelligent and hard working kids stand out? And yes, I think test optional kids are a bit lazy and not intelligent.

They can try, but it doesn’t necessarily matter.

2 kids at our small private just got into Northwestern. They are in all regular classes, with a mix of A’s and Bs. They are not athletes, dancers, musicians. They hold no class office (despite running). They need FA. But they are Hispanic. The (white) all advanced class straight A class rep, musician, etc. is waitlisted. Holistic review is really about advancing demographic priorities. It is what it is.

Armchair analysis. Unless you reviewed their applications you have no real idea how they stood out. You go for the easy thing by noting their ethnicity. Because your sense of entitlement makes you unable to imagine they might have something interesting or unique to offer beyond demographics.

I say this as a mother of an intellectually brilliant white kid who got rejected or wait listed to 5 of their top choices. It is what it is.

Ps it’s kind of creepy you know those kids’ grades.

Everyone knows everything. These kids blab and complain. As you can see from their failure to be elected to any class office, they were not well-liked or respected by classmates or teachers (one was kicked out of dc’s chem class basically). So clearly not great recs. Funny that you insist on thinking they have some hidden charms just bc they are Hispanic though.