If your church's doctrine says homosexuality is a sin, but your DC is gay

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I belong to a church that believes lying is a sin. I have a teenager who lies sometimes. He still knows that I love and accept him even if I don’t approve of everything he does.

How is this different?

It's totally different and you know it. Teenagers usually grow out of lying, being gay is totally different. This means you would disapprove of him and his lifestyle for the rest of his life despite loving him. That would be devastating for most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Most, maybe all, religions teach this, but over time, people, specifically men, don't practice it -- even people who suppposedly believe it. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many light skinned blacks or latinos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church teaches that homosexuality is not a sin but homosexual acts are. So I would explain that gently and lovingly to my child. She wants to be a nun so it's not like she'd be giving up anything she's not already planning to give up.

That's pretty crazy. What church teaches that BS?

All of them.

That’s what every church that has an issue with homosexuality teaches.

What? I thought churches taught that you could commit adultery by lusting in your MIND. So just thinking of adultery was a sin.....and thinking about homosexual sex is not a sin? What a bunch of BS.

How does this make no sense to you? Wanting to do something and actually doing it are not the same thing.

a). Not lusting after your neighbor’s wife and not committing adultery are two separate commandments. They aren’t the same thing.

b) I don’t think we are talking about married people here.
It’s not a sin to want to be with someone when you are both single.

If you are single isn’t it a sin anyway? The thought of being with someone (lust) or actually being with someone (fornication)?

No. Treating someone entirely as an object and not a human being is a sin.

Look, in the end, that’s not really the point. The point is not thinking about sex vs having sex. The point is that if you have sinned, and you are sorry for it, it’s forgiven.
The question is whether or not to be sorry for it.

No one says that you are going to be separated from Good if you are homosexual or have homosexual thoughts. What they say is that if you are engaging in those actions, you know they are taking you further from your relationship with God, and you decide not to turn around, then you are effectively choosing not to be with God.

because as everyone knows, God is heterosexual. In His wisdom, He allows people to have homosexual thoughts, but He does not allow people to act on them. It says so in the Bible. /S

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don't get how anyone could believe gay relationships are sinful or all about lust if you've actually known someone who was gay. My mom's brother recently lost a long battle to cancer. Despite the societal condemnation, they'd been together since the 1970s and his husband took care of him during his illness.

If you look at that loving relationship and think "sinful", I feel deeply sorry for you.

No one thinks that loving relationships are sinful. It’s only the sex.

Just like living together without being married is viewed as sinful.
Only married people are allowed to have sex. Everyone else must be celibate

Most, maybe all, religions teach this, but over time, people, specifically men, don't practice it -- even people who suppposedly believe it. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many light skinned blacks or latinos.

In fact the only Latinos would be Italians, Spanish or French people - no mexicans or people from South America.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you stay or do you go? Did you choose between your church and your DC? If you stayed in the church, how did that affect your relationship with your DC?

I would leave. In the year 2022 (or 2021 when you wrote this), we no longer live in the Middle Ages. I do not need a priest (or whoever is your spiritual leader) to intercede with God on my behalf and I sure as *uck don’t believe being gay or having homosexual relations is a sin. No *uckity no way. I would not ever subject my child to a “church” that taught them they were inherently broken or sinful or bad, just like I would never subject my daughter to a church that would teach her that she is “less than” men.

We protect our children, not use an outside institution to break them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church teaches that homosexuality is not a sin but homosexual acts are. So I would explain that gently and lovingly to my child. She wants to be a nun so it's not like she'd be giving up anything she's not already planning to give up.

That's pretty crazy. What church teaches that BS?

All of them.

That’s what every church that has an issue with homosexuality teaches.

What? I thought churches taught that you could commit adultery by lusting in your MIND. So just thinking of adultery was a sin.....and thinking about homosexual sex is not a sin? What a bunch of BS.

Some translations and interpretations of that verse say that “lust” is not literal attraction but developing a plan. A fleeting thought or being attracted to someone is not a sin.

I think people in this thread are confused about the nature of the Christian god and what sin is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you stay or do you go? Did you choose between your church and your DC? If you stayed in the church, how did that affect your relationship with your DC?

I would leave. In the year 2022 (or 2021 when you wrote this), we no longer live in the Middle Ages. I do not need a priest (or whoever is your spiritual leader) to intercede with God on my behalf and I sure as *uck don’t believe being gay or having homosexual relations is a sin. No *uckity no way. I would not ever subject my child to a “church” that taught them they were inherently broken or sinful or bad, just like I would never subject my daughter to a church that would teach her that she is “less than” men.

We protect our children, not use an outside institution to break them.

Christianity teaches that all people are broken, all people need healing, and that God has already saved you in sending Jesus Christ to die and resurrect. Also, all sins are considered equal, this is a very basic Biblical interpretation. No sin is actually “worse” than other sins, no person is “worse” than any other person. Jesus says that the shepherd will leave his 99 sheep and go after the lost one, that is an expression of profound love, not condemnation. Why are you even on this thread?

[Anonymous]

There are SO many churches that accept gay congregants. Move to one of them. Always choose your child first!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My church teaches that homosexuality is not a sin but homosexual acts are. So I would explain that gently and lovingly to my child. She wants to be a nun so it's not like she'd be giving up anything she's not already planning to give up.

That's pretty crazy. What church teaches that BS?

All of them.

That’s what every church that has an issue with homosexuality teaches.

What? I thought churches taught that you could commit adultery by lusting in your MIND. So just thinking of adultery was a sin.....and thinking about homosexual sex is not a sin? What a bunch of BS.

Some translations and interpretations of that verse say that “lust” is not literal attraction but developing a plan. A fleeting thought or being attracted to someone is not a sin.

I think people in this thread are confused about the nature of the Christian god and what sin is.

IT would not be surprising that people are confused, given the conflicting information that comes from various Christian sects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are SO many churches that accept gay congregants. Move to one of them. Always choose your child first!

+1
Exactly! Any church doctrine which tells a parent to discriminate against their child is a divisive doctrine. Destroying the bond between a parent and a child or breaking up the unity within a family is not a doctrine I will abide by. If an individual is forced to choose between their gay child or a church, then I suggest going to a church where the teachings are not homophobic. I will choose my children over any religious doctrine.

The Episcopal, some Methodists, some branches of Lutheran, Unitarian Universalists, and some non-denominational churches do not discriminate against homosexuals.

[Anonymous]

I used to think organized religion was a force for good but I’ve outgrown that belief. It keeps women and marginalized people down instead of helping them. Support a religion over my own child? Hard no. And I don’t think people who WOULD do this understand either their religion or their child.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read all the comments, just coming here to say you probably know supporting your child in being who they really are is the only morally right thing to do. God didn’t create religions, people did.

[Anonymous]

I’m gay. My parents chose religion over me.

I didn’t see them for 10 years (their choice) and then we slowly started seeing each other again as they aged and their health waned.

And by slowly I mean once a year for a long weekend where my wife, kids, and I stay at a nearby hotel and never their house.

They FaceTime my kids on Xmas and their bdays.

They still end every interaction with “we will be praying for you”.

My wife’s family is amazing! And they are also religious but found a church that was LGBTQ friendly when she came out in HS.

[Anonymous]

Every one of my Mormon friends struggle with this Some have found their answer, but they all struggle. I am not Mormom but lived in a heavily Mormon state at one time, and also dated a Mormon man for several years. I love that my Mormon friends trust me enough to confide their struggle to me. I listen, but I don't try to decide for them. For some, it is a decision to leave a religion their families have been a part of for 6-7 generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are not our kids. We can love them and still have our own beliefs. We can honor what they do good in the world and caution against other activities but once they are adults they are responsible for their own choices and saving their own soul.

You totally missed the point.

You take your 10 yo gay child to a service that says they are going to he!!?

What churches actually have a service that talks about this topic? Southern Evangelicals?

I attended an Anglican (in the US) church that did. It was a vendetta for the pastor. He preached about it an absurd amount and he became somewhat famous in the intolerant splinter in the church when a diocese in NH elected an openly gay bishop. I left that parish, obviously. Luckily since then, the angry anti gay pastor has fallen into obscurity where he belongs.