Should we allow DD to skip 8th grade trip?

[Anonymous]

It’s later this month and final funds are due next week. (We will be out the initial deposit of $150.) They’re going to Toronto for three days. She was excited at the beginning of the year, but as it’s gotten closer, she is preemptively feeling homesick and begging not to go. She’s always been prone to homesickness and hasn’t spent the night with family in nearly a decade, and has never attended a sleepover. We were hoping the allure of a parentless trip with friends would entice her, but it seems it hasn’t. To her credit, she’s had a rough year with mean girl drama, and I wonder if that plays a role in her not feeling comfortable going.

I’m tempted to allow her to skip it. She has promised to do chores to make up the $150, and I believe her. I was never super comfortable with the idea of her going to begin with, although I can’t pinpoint the reason for my hesitation.

What do you all think? I told her I’d make up my mind this weekend.

[Anonymous]

Unless she's prone to flip flopping or being dramatic, I would let her skip it. Something about her desperation to get out of it sounds like there is something more than a fear of homesickness.

[Anonymous]

I would let her skip it. I think a trip with potential mean girl drama would be a nightmare. I think these things are only fun if you have a solid group of friends.

I will say though that the homesick thing is a little concerning. (I don't think the school trip is the way to solve it.) But what will she do when it's time to go to college?

[Anonymous]

Does she have any friends? If she does you can talk to her counselor in making sure she rooms with them. It would be a big step forward in becoming more independent if you could talk her into going.

[Anonymous]

Let her skip.

I still remember my parents forcing me to go on mine and I was so so miserable. I won’t be forcing my children to go after my experience.

[Anonymous]

This isn’t the type of thing you force

[Anonymous]

No chores, let her not go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No chores, let her not go.

+1

[Anonymous]

Honestly I’d let her skip it. Tough age and the consequences are none or minimal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s later this month and final funds are due next week. (We will be out the initial deposit of $150.) They’re going to Toronto for three days. She was excited at the beginning of the year, but as it’s gotten closer, she is preemptively feeling homesick and begging not to go. She’s always been prone to homesickness and hasn’t spent the night with family in nearly a decade, and has never attended a sleepover. We were hoping the allure of a parentless trip with friends would entice her, but it seems it hasn’t. To her credit, she’s had a rough year with mean girl drama, and I wonder if that plays a role in her not feeling comfortable going.

I’m tempted to allow her to skip it. She has promised to do chores to make up the $150, and I believe her. I was never super comfortable with the idea of her going to begin with, although I can’t pinpoint the reason for my hesitation.

What do you all think? I told her I’d make up my mind this weekend.

She needs to learn that when she makes a commitment, she keeps it.

[Anonymous]

I'd make her go. Society is raising a generation of kids with no emotional fortitude. Three days is not so long that she can't see the end in sight. This is an opportunity to go to another country.

[Anonymous]

Skip it. Your job is to teach her to advocate for herself and she is clearly saying what she needs. I can’t imagine sending my child somewhere for three days to be possibly bullied the whole time. This is a huge thing for her and you need to have her back. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to listen to her.

-school psychologist

[Anonymous]

Skip it.

[Anonymous]

absolutely skip it. don't force her to do chores.

[Anonymous]

Why would you force her?