SIL upset with DH and I - overreaction?

[Anonymous]

SIL is visiting from out of town and it was her birthday this week. She requested the family to come together to celebrate her birthday so BIL hosted. One of her children got diagnosed with the flu the day before. SIL made the decision to move forward with celebrating her birthday while her husband and child stayed back at my in-laws.

One of my children is having a midterm makeup exam this week and has been preparing for the exam for the past month. The exam is very important to his GPA and I did not want to risk getting him sick. I decided not to come to the party which DH was fine with initially. DH assured me that he would wear a mask while indoors since there is a risk of SIL, MIL, FIL and her other children being contagious and not knowing it.

When DH arrives at the party he informs me that there is a patio that I can hang out at. DH was insistent that I come to the party since the entire family was there. I go to the party and hang out at the patio. They were just about to cut the cake and SIL requested that I come inside. I made a request to see if we can cut the cake outside. BIL's wife was fine with moving outside but then SIL said that it would not be possible since FIL has mobility issues and cannot come outside. I then made a poor decision which I completely own up to and replied with a comment of why he can't just come outside. SIL then got very upset at me and told me that it was safe to come inside since her sick child was at home and that she would never throw a party if she felt she put other lives at risk. I did not respond to her and just left the party with my child

I realized that I made a mistake by requesting that the cake be cut outside and could have been perceived as having an attitude when SIL said no. I apologized via text the next day and truly meant it. I even let her know that my actions are my fault alone and DH or the kids have nothing to do with this and that they really want to hang out with her before she leaves and can do so without me if she is still upset.

She refuses to talk to DH and refuses to allow our children to see each other. Her son has now recovered. Is SIL overreacting?? Will time heal this rift?

I feel awful for the request I made at the party and for my reaction when SIL refused to cut the cake outside.

[Anonymous]

You made a very sincere, and very owed, apology. There’s not much more to do now than to let her have some time for her anger to soothe. No, I don’t think she is overreacting. I would be livid with you as well and need time to calm down especially when I’m dealing with a sick kid too.

[Anonymous]

She left the sick kid out of the party, so no germs were present inside the party, and you wanted an elderly disabled man to come to you?
YIKES even if you apologized I'd be really angry at you.

[Anonymous]

Honestly your DH is also at fault for insisting that you come with the child, especially since the SIL left her own spouse and child at home.
They put you in a difficult position by doing the cutting inside.
In retrospect, you could have just gone in, worn a mask while the cake was cut. Gotten a slice and waited for the appropriate moment to bring it back outside to the patio.
The SIL is being a drama queen and attention seeker.

[Anonymous]

She isn’t overreacting. You did and now you get to live with the consequences until she cools down.

FAFO. Next time just sing from the patio if COVID broke you. Or you could be like normal people and go sing Happy Birthday for two minutes.

[Anonymous]

Not much you can do now. Not sure why you son just couldn’t stay home alone or you could just have out a mask in to go inside (did you avoid using the restroom all night long? Any plan for that?)

[Anonymous]

I might forgive but I wouldn’t forget what a self centered person you are.

[Anonymous]

OP I get it.

You should not have gone. And you made a scene.

Not like the Flu is not highly contagious.

And you SIL is a twat. How old is she that she needs everyone at her birthday?
Who cares if she behaves like this in front of your kids I would not have that crap in their lives.

[Anonymous]

You overreacted from the very start. This is on you not her.

[Anonymous]

Does your child go to school? If so, he is already exposed to siblings and family members of sick people. This party is no more exposure than that.

[Anonymous]

We would not have done to the party.

[Anonymous]

the cake be cut

This? All of you are bonkers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We would not have done to the party.

Ridiculous. You are exposed to people who have contact with those with flu all the time. At school, at the grocery store, at the pharmacy. That’s why you should get a flu shot and wash your hands. Her health anxiety in this situation was completely and totally unreasonable and her suggestion that a mobility-impaired elderly person be forced to come outdoors was wacko.

[Anonymous]

She was right. You were wrong. The sick kid wasn't at the party and the world doesn't revolve around your kid's GPA. That midterm is not the reason you had a fit. Reach into your brain and figure out what your problem really is.

[Anonymous]

You should have just slapped on a mask to go inside for the cake-cutting.

She needs to let it go.