SIL upset with DH and I - overreaction?
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Anonymous
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It sounds like you think SIL is bossy and this annoys you. She does seem bossy, why insist you need to come inside?
And she knows that you are annoyed with her, maybe this has been known for a while. You also realized it was not good to insist the whole party come outside, to cater to you. You were probably irritated with her, and made this inappropriate request. You’ve apologized. Not much else to do, except reflect on how you want to manage this relationship going forward. You both seem a little headstrong and rigid and will probably butt heads again in the future. How will you avoid future conflicts? This is how you should spend your time. Leave this past incident, you’ve done all you can. |
Anonymous
| Sil is over reacting and should accept your apology. |
Anonymous
| Apologies over text are meaningless and you all are drama queens. |
Anonymous
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The whole thing sounds a bit ridiculous. Depending on how old your son is, why couldn’t he stay home and study while you went with DH? But why on earth did your DH insist you join after you declined? The exposure to illness seems a bit over the top on your part and you were definitely right to apologize for your extreme reaction to the cake cutting. She sounds completely immature as well.
Frankly you all sound high maintenance and a bit dramatic. Hope things smooth over and calmer heads prevail in the long run. |
Anonymous
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OP you totally blew things out of proportion. While you did apologize it doesn't mean that she immediately has to make YOU feel better about your bad behavior. I am sure it will be fine but give it some time. Also creating family drama over a kid's midterm is the height of bad form. |
Anonymous
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Everyone is in the wrong.
1. You and your kids are exposed to stuff all the time everywhere you go. You probably should have just gone. 2. But since you were uncomfortable, both your DH and SIL should have respected that and let you stay home. 3. Why on earth couldn’t they do the cake without you and your son? The whole purpose of being outside was to minimize the risk. Why would they then expect you to go inside? The logic was missing there. 4. You apologized. Your SIL should move on. |
Anonymous
| I had to scroll up to see if this was a resurrected thread from the covid era. I think you overdid it, which you acknowledge. But I do think your SIL is also overreacting. |
Anonymous
+1 You clearly dislike your SIL and created a lot of drama around this event needlessly. She's visiting her family for her birthday yet somehow the entire night was centered around your germophobia, ostensibly in service of your kid's test? DH has to scout the restaurant for a place separate from the party for you sit and be catered to, has to text you about what's going on, then you argue that you shouldn't have to come inside for even two minutes and instead they should wheel the elderly outside for your comfort, because . . . think of the geometry test? It seems really ridiculous to an observer. |
Anonymous
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"I did not respond to her and just left the party with my child"
I think that's the issue. You stormed out without speaking to anyone. That probably ruined the party and made everyone feel uncomfortable. Sounds like you started the silent treatment... What does your DH have to say since it sounds like he was still there after you left? |
Anonymous
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So first adults who throw themselves a birthday party and expect everyone to celebrate them are losers. It’s very cringe and sad.
Second , your mistake was in going. Your husband got tired of everyone saying where’s Jane and took the easy way out. I would have stuck to our decision and reminded DH nope we already decided not to go. Third, it was rude and weird for your sister in law to demand that you enter to sing happy birthday to her and cut the cake. Attention deprived loser. Rather than demanding FIL come out though, I would have held fast on nope not coming in. If she got pushy, I would have asked ‘do you really need me to sing to you? Because frankly, you aren’t 10 years old so I don’t get it. Move on, forget it and next time when you decide something |
Anonymous
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OP, you took everything WAY too far. It’s good you apologized, but that’s not all you did to apologize for. Overall you acted like a total pill. This is not the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. The actual sick person was not present. Get over yourself, a lot, really.
-One of the most COVID-careful people you will ever meet |
Anonymous
| I just looked to see if this was written in 2020 |
Anonymous
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How old is this woman? If she has a child she’s old enough to not need to be a birthday princess and have every single person present to watch her blow out candles. Not saying OP did things perfectly but SIL sounds exhausting.
Also, I’m not a germaphobe and would probably go anyway, but at probably at least one person from that family was contagious with the flu at the party. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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If you and your DS were wearing masks for *your* protection, as this was apparently your goal, I don’t see about you insisting and being rude about being inside?
You ruined a moment. You apologize because you made her birthday about your whatever it was later in the week, even though no one present was ill. |