Wife Using Pregnancy As An Excuse

[Anonymous]

I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I need to vent. My wife is pregnant with our first child and I feel like she uses it as an excuse to not do things and get things she wants. I understand that pregnancy is hard on the body and I'm trying to be as sympathetic and understanding as possible. That's it.

[Anonymous]

Try harder.

[Anonymous]

Examples?
I think it may be that you have seen this pattern before but pregnancy made it worse? Or you feel you are being manipulated overall? If the relationship was wonderful then I’m guessing this would not have come up

[Anonymous]

If she is manipulative or you are insensitive then it has less to do with pregnancy, more with need of family counseling.

[Anonymous]

Well think of it this way. When you get pregnant she will have to do everything for you. You'll see. Just wait it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I need to vent. My wife is pregnant with our first child and I feel like she uses it as an excuse to not do things and get things she wants. I understand that pregnancy is hard on the body and I'm trying to be as sympathetic and understanding as possible. That's it.

Completely understand. I experienced the same thing with my wife when she was pregnant with our first child. I did my best to accommodate her needs and tried to empathized with what she was going through. Sometimes she got really demanding for no reason so I just ignored her. That seemed to work. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

How far along is she?

I think i was a pretty chill pregnant lady but I had a very easy pregnancy and most women don’t.

Try to be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Examples?
I think it may be that you have seen this pattern before but pregnancy made it worse? Or you feel you are being manipulated overall? If the relationship was wonderful then I’m guessing this would not have come up

OP here. We have always had a really good relationship. We have issues like every other couple but nothing serious.

The things that have been bothering me is she uses pregnancy as an excuse. She has cut her hours at work - without talking about it first - and her excuse is she’s too tired to work. She has even brought up the idea that she quit work for now while pregnant because it’s too hard and difficult. She doesn’t sleep well and she will just call off work. The excuse again is she’s pregnant and too tired. If we make plans, and she decides she doesn’t want to do it, she will cancel because of pregnancy. When she doesn’t want to deal with something, she uses the excuse of her being pregnant.

She has been spending money like crazy. When I brought it up she got upset and said that it’s for the baby. I told her that we should set a budget since she will be off work for a while and doesn’t get full paid leave. She told me that I’m robbing her of the chance to enjoy this pregnancy.

She can’t handle anything negative because it makes her “ emotional”. I feel like I’ve been walking on egg shells and I shouldn’t have to do that in my own home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well think of it this way. When you get pregnant she will have to do everything for you. You'll see. Just wait it out.

OP here. I’m a man and can’t get pregnant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I'm going to get flamed for this but I need to vent. My wife is pregnant with our first child and I feel like she uses it as an excuse to not do things and get things she wants. I understand that pregnancy is hard on the body and I'm trying to be as sympathetic and understanding as possible. That's it.

Completely understand. I experienced the same thing with my wife when she was pregnant with our first child. I did my best to accommodate her needs and tried to empathized with what she was going through. Sometimes she got really demanding for no reason so I just ignored her. That seemed to work. Good luck.

OP here. This too. Baby wants this and baby wants that. She acts like she can’t get herself anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Examples?
I think it may be that you have seen this pattern before but pregnancy made it worse? Or you feel you are being manipulated overall? If the relationship was wonderful then I’m guessing this would not have come up

OP here. We have always had a really good relationship. We have issues like every other couple but nothing serious.

The things that have been bothering me is she uses pregnancy as an excuse. She has cut her hours at work - without talking about it first - and her excuse is she’s too tired to work. She has even brought up the idea that she quit work for now while pregnant because it’s too hard and difficult. She doesn’t sleep well and she will just call off work. The excuse again is she’s pregnant and too tired. If we make plans, and she decides she doesn’t want to do it, she will cancel because of pregnancy. When she doesn’t want to deal with something, she uses the excuse of her being pregnant.

She has been spending money like crazy. When I brought it up she got upset and said that it’s for the baby. I told her that we should set a budget since she will be off work for a while and doesn’t get full paid leave. She told me that I’m robbing her of the chance to enjoy this pregnancy.

She can’t handle anything negative because it makes her “ emotional”. I feel like I’ve been walking on egg shells and I shouldn’t have to do that in my own home.

Troll or jerk? Or both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far along is she?

I think i was a pretty chill pregnant lady but I had a very easy pregnancy and most women don’t.

Try to be more understanding.

OP here. She is 16 weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Examples?
I think it may be that you have seen this pattern before but pregnancy made it worse? Or you feel you are being manipulated overall? If the relationship was wonderful then I’m guessing this would not have come up

OP here. We have always had a really good relationship. We have issues like every other couple but nothing serious.

The things that have been bothering me is she uses pregnancy as an excuse. She has cut her hours at work - without talking about it first - and her excuse is she’s too tired to work. She has even brought up the idea that she quit work for now while pregnant because it’s too hard and difficult. She doesn’t sleep well and she will just call off work. The excuse again is she’s pregnant and too tired. If we make plans, and she decides she doesn’t want to do it, she will cancel because of pregnancy. When she doesn’t want to deal with something, she uses the excuse of her being pregnant.

She has been spending money like crazy. When I brought it up she got upset and said that it’s for the baby. I told her that we should set a budget since she will be off work for a while and doesn’t get full paid leave. She told me that I’m robbing her of the chance to enjoy this pregnancy.

She can’t handle anything negative because it makes her “ emotional”. I feel like I’ve been walking on egg shells and I shouldn’t have to do that in my own home.

Troll or jerk? Or both?

OP here. Not a troll and I don’t feel like I’m a jerk.

[Anonymous]

I think you're bored and want some women to text with and this is the best you could come up with. Go read a book.

[Anonymous]

Pregnancy does make women really tired and hormonal (overly emotional, hyper-focused on the pregnancy/baby to the exclusion of other things in life, moody, sensitive). It is only natural that she is “using pregnancy as an excuse” to get things she wants…it’s biological. She’s trying to take care of herself/this baby.