How did we survive?

Anonymous
Have been thinking back to the beginning of the pandemic/shut downs and I wonder how I mentally survived it. When shutdown happened I had a newborn, 3 year old and 5 year old. Plus a husband who wasn't used to working from home, working 60-80 hours a week. My PPD spiraled out of control during March-April and I sincerely don't know how I managed to keep my newborn alive during that time. I was sleeping in 45 minute increments at night and up all day with my toddler/5 year old. Only saving grace was I that I didn't have to work since I was on maternity leave.

Now thinking back on it I am surprised that my family even managed to come out of that time unscathed. I think about all my friends who had older children or child free friends who were "living their best lives" and sometimes get sooo angry. I know it was all situational but god it was such a hard period of time for those of us with young kids. I also feel for parents who had older children who missed major life milestones like prom and graduation or pivotal years in college.
Anonymous
You survived. be grateful for that. Tell your children your story so they don't forget
So many people died
Anonymous
Your life was always going to be rough with a newborn, a 3 and 5 year old. That is why most of us dtop at 2…
Anonymous
Look around. We all survived but we didn't make it through unscathed. There are so many ways to see how people were psychologically scarred by the pandemic. People are recovering now, or learning to live with the scars. But they're there.
Anonymous
I don’t have any child-free friends who were “living their best lives” during the pandemic. Mine were:

Scared to start trying for kids
Worried about their parents
Bored and lonely because they were isolating
In residency and wearing PPE all day and worried they were going to get COVID/give COVID to their partner


Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t have any child-free friends who were “living their best lives” during the pandemic. Mine were:

Scared to start trying for kids
Worried about their parents
Bored and lonely because they were isolating
In residency and wearing PPE all day and worried they were going to get COVID/give COVID to their partner




OP - After the restrictions on travel lifted, but obviously well before any vaccine, I had a bunch of childfree friends who were traveling all over the place because they could work from "home" remotely for the first time.
Anonymous
I definitely have flashback to my 1 and 3 year olds crying for me and my boss screaming at me. I feel like it took some really good years away from me and my kids.

Hard because my childless friends and all the grandparents were having a wonderful time. Renting beach houses, lake cabins and traveling to relatives.
Anonymous
OK, I’ll be the grouch,

Humans have survived roughly a billion events more physically, mentally and emotionally devastating (you might even say “traumatic” if that was a concept that existed more than 15 minutes ago… ) than doing office work from home and ordering dinner for curbside pickup instead of dining in the restaurant. For a period of like 16 months.

Try a world war, a famine, plague, the Great Depression, not having AC or running water, living in a place that has slavery or child labor, or having Ghengis Khan storm your village and stack the mutilated skulls of your entire family in the town square. You get the point.

How did we survive? Because what other choice is there. And COVID, in the US and among the DCUM set, barely registers as a hardship.

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OK, I’ll be the grouch,

Humans have survived roughly a billion events more physically, mentally and emotionally devastating (you might even say “traumatic” if that was a concept that existed more than 15 minutes ago… ) than doing office work from home and ordering dinner for curbside pickup instead of dining in the restaurant. For a period of like 16 months.

Try a world war, a famine, plague, the Great Depression, not having AC or running water, living in a place that has slavery or child labor, or having Ghengis Khan storm your village and stack the mutilated skulls of your entire family in the town square. You get the point.

How did we survive? Because what other choice is there. And COVID, in the US and among the DCUM set, barely registers as a hardship.



OP - I realize this is not the pain Olympics but I would say those of us with very very young kids during that time it was traumatic both physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn't even get a post partum check up after having my child for over a year. I sincerely thought suicide or getting covid so I could go get some sleep in a hospital would have been better than going on 4-5 months of 1-2 hours of sleep a day. Plus I had to keep my other kids alive and my DH needed to keep his job so we didn't lose our house and could keep said kids fed.

Of course there are many many worse things that have happened over the course of history to people, but to diminish what people went through is callous.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Have been thinking back to the beginning of the pandemic/shut downs and I wonder how I mentally survived it. When shutdown happened I had a newborn, 3 year old and 5 year old. Plus a husband who wasn't used to working from home, working 60-80 hours a week. My PPD spiraled out of control during March-April and I sincerely don't know how I managed to keep my newborn alive during that time. I was sleeping in 45 minute increments at night and up all day with my toddler/5 year old. Only saving grace was I that I didn't have to work since I was on maternity leave.

Now thinking back on it I am surprised that my family even managed to come out of that time unscathed. I think about all my friends who had older children or child free friends who were "living their best lives" and sometimes get sooo angry. I know it was all situational but god it was such a hard period of time for those of us with young kids. I also feel for parents who had older children who missed major life milestones like prom and graduation or pivotal years in college.


Well, maybe spend some time thinking about people who weren't on maternity leave and didn't have a spouse working from home. I don't play the suffering Olympics game, but to get angry that some people had it easier than you while not acknowledging that so many people had it worse than you is trite. I had young kids and yeah, it was really hard, but no one in my family died and neither my husband nor I had to be on the front lines, so any time I thought about complaining about anything, I instead became thankful at how good we truly had it.
Anonymous
Are you always this whiny? People have survived much much worse.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OK, I’ll be the grouch,

Humans have survived roughly a billion events more physically, mentally and emotionally devastating (you might even say “traumatic” if that was a concept that existed more than 15 minutes ago… ) than doing office work from home and ordering dinner for curbside pickup instead of dining in the restaurant. For a period of like 16 months.

Try a world war, a famine, plague, the Great Depression, not having AC or running water, living in a place that has slavery or child labor, or having Ghengis Khan storm your village and stack the mutilated skulls of your entire family in the town square. You get the point.

How did we survive? Because what other choice is there. And COVID, in the US and among the DCUM set, barely registers as a hardship.



OP - I realize this is not the pain Olympics but I would say those of us with very very young kids during that time it was traumatic both physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn't even get a post partum check up after having my child for over a year. I sincerely thought suicide or getting covid so I could go get some sleep in a hospital would have been better than going on 4-5 months of 1-2 hours of sleep a day. Plus I had to keep my other kids alive and my DH needed to keep his job so we didn't lose our house and could keep said kids fed.

Of course there are many many worse things that have happened over the course of history to people, but to diminish what people went through is callous.


Oh, the irony.

You had an infant, you don't get much sleep when that happens. I get it, your other two kids were home with you when I imagine they would have, what, been in daycare? But you weren't even working during this period. Maybe just check yourself and work on some gratitude.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Have been thinking back to the beginning of the pandemic/shut downs and I wonder how I mentally survived it. When shutdown happened I had a newborn, 3 year old and 5 year old. Plus a husband who wasn't used to working from home, working 60-80 hours a week. My PPD spiraled out of control during March-April and I sincerely don't know how I managed to keep my newborn alive during that time. I was sleeping in 45 minute increments at night and up all day with my toddler/5 year old. Only saving grace was I that I didn't have to work since I was on maternity leave.

Now thinking back on it I am surprised that my family even managed to come out of that time unscathed. I think about all my friends who had older children or child free friends who were "living their best lives" and sometimes get sooo angry. I know it was all situational but god it was such a hard period of time for those of us with young kids. I also feel for parents who had older children who missed major life milestones like prom and graduation or pivotal years in college.


Wow. I had to pause to really take in how narcissistic and awful this is. No one was "living their best life" during those early days. My friends who were actually single or child free were so lonely and alienated. My friends with older kids saw horrendous anxiety and isolation disordrs devleop from depression and self harm to worse. I wish you could step outside your own pain for a minute and think that we who had the frustration of little kids (mine were 3 and 6) actually had something to get us out of bed and keep us present in the moment! and our spouses had JOBS unlike many. And OF COURSE my heart goes out to you. It was a really tough time but I think we with the very littles had it better than most, our kids dont really remember the worst of it! i think you might want to do a little work on what seems like trauma related to that event. Truth is I think your early baby days as a parent of three could have been very stressful anyway with sleep exhaustion, PPD and three littles under 5 and a spouse that pulls those hours. I am very happy you made it out OK and are doing well and hope you can continue to do well and re frame this experience some day in the context of great privilege versus the hardship many faced.
Anonymous
1) We had no choice.

2) A lot of people didn't.
Anonymous
Ah sorry OP..... I just saw you already did get your ass handed to you in the comments. I hope it gives you some perspective. Blessings.
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