How did we survive?

Anonymous
It was ridiculously hard and parts of many of us will never recover. Some from the extreme stress and others from health concerns. Many kids are still struggling in big and small ways, mine sure are. We survived because we had to, and thankfully were able to.

It was fcking hard.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Are you in therapy? I had bad PPD and my memory and thoughts surrounding DS' first year were pretty miserable until I got therapy. (this wasn't during Covid).

I was a Covid nurse. I've legitimately blocked out some memories because it got so bad. What helped me was to concentrate on the positives. It reaffirmed what a great guy DH is and how strong our marriage is. I gained a lot of confidence as a nurse. Etc etc. It isn't so much about "getting over it" as it is about not letting those memories consume you. It is what it is. What happened isn't going to change and it won't do you good to concentrate on all you regret


We have a few friends that are working with EMDR therapy to help with significant workplace trauma. It’s slowly helping.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:God will never give you more than you can handle.


This statement is far more harmful that helpful.


Nope.
Anonymous
So many hot house weeds! I feel zero empathy for adults who are incapable of dealing with life as adults. You need some really hard times to get some wherewithal and how to deal with life's curves balls that are a million times worse than Covid. Grow up and stop your constant complaining because you are beyond boring and no one gives a rat's derriere.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:So many hot house weeds! I feel zero empathy for adults who are incapable of dealing with life as adults. You need some really hard times to get some wherewithal and how to deal with life's curves balls that are a million times worse than Covid. Grow up and stop your constant complaining because you are beyond boring and no one gives a rat's derriere.


I hope the enema helps.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you in therapy? I had bad PPD and my memory and thoughts surrounding DS' first year were pretty miserable until I got therapy. (this wasn't during Covid).

I was a Covid nurse. I've legitimately blocked out some memories because it got so bad. What helped me was to concentrate on the positives. It reaffirmed what a great guy DH is and how strong our marriage is. I gained a lot of confidence as a nurse. Etc etc. It isn't so much about "getting over it" as it is about not letting those memories consume you. It is what it is. What happened isn't going to change and it won't do you good to concentrate on all you regret


We have a few friends that are working with EMDR therapy to help with significant workplace trauma. It’s slowly helping.


I'm an ER doc. I had to drive my toddler to the midwest to my parent's house, say goodbye indefinitely, then return to work where my pay was cut and PPE was promised but not guaranteed. I remember holding down a 40 yo to intubate him because the dose of drugs we typically draw up for this didn't touch a young, otherwise healthy 40 yo male who knew he was dying and was fighting it with every ounce of his strength. His mask was off, ours were off, the room was chaos, he was spraying Covid-soaked saliva in our faces. I went home that night to my apt by myself and laid in the dark and cried.

I don't think about any of these memories often because they don't help me. I got through, got my kiddo back, my parents did ok, the patient above lived. But the body keeps the score, as they say. I had to get therapy to deal with what is probably ptsd. My colleagues and I all joke that we have it but none of us laugh. Many of us quit (actually 20% of the healthcare workforce if you span across skill levels. If you're wondering why you can't get in to see your doctor 2 years later this is why).

Sorry you got chewed out on this thread. No one gets to decide how you perceive what you went through, but based on how you feel it deeply affected you and probably needs to be unwound. You're wondering how you survived only now because now your brain knows it's safe to wonder. You'll benefit from unpacking it. Don't worry about all the comparisons, we all have our stuff. Good luck to you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:It wasn't that bad because I didn't make it that bad for myself. I didn't virtue signal about "staying indoors" or wearing masks alone in the woods. The biggest change is that I started working from home, and still work from home. And I got a few jabs in my arm.
Nobody I knew died from covid that wasn't already dying of something else. The people I knew that got Covid never got all that sick. I never got covid. The worst thing was during 2020 and some of 2021 it was frustrating when in-person events were canceled which honestly really didn't need to be. I definitely think people in Blue states overreacted and that's why there is such a strong Red tide among typically Blue demographics. I don't think there was a grand government control conspiracy, I think governments just didn't want to admit that they had no clue what they were doing and just wanted to look like they were doing something.
As soon as I got my first vaccine in May 2021, I:
Resumed any and all social activities
Resumed travel, parties, events, dining, you name it
Never wore a mask unless it was absolutely mandatory
Did. Not. Care. about case rates or numbers.
Basically, as soon as I got that vaccine, I lived like it was 2019 again and never looked back. I feel negative shame about this.


I’m the same way and I think a lot of people did the same. We traveled summer of 2021 and did 2 hotel stays - all driving but definitely stayed out of town. And everything seemed really about 95% back to normal outside of this area.

I think what I’m having trouble with, even now, is how abnormal everything was in the DC area for so long. Masks everywhere in late 2021/early 2022. My then 2.5 year old being excluded from the very limited kid activities at the time because he wouldn’t wear a mask. He turned out to have autism. We couldn’t get anyone at FCPS to pick up the phone to get an evaluation for an IEP and a referral for special education, we had to come in at the last possible second, right before he turned 3, through ITC, who WAS responsive because you have to pay them. Even if he had been evaluated quickly by the schools, he would have been excluded from preschool due to his inability to wear a mask. Just the craziest stuff, people in this area treated as normal but you could go 2 hours away in PA and it was almost completely normal. I’m trying not to hold on to resentment but it’s difficult.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:OP, I have sympathy for you. I only had one kid who was 4 at the start of pandemic, but I'm a single mom. I did try to kill myself at one point, but obviously it didn't take.


I'm so sorry PP. I'm glad it didn't take and your child still has you in their life. You are amazing and you are worth it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OK, I’ll be the grouch,

Humans have survived roughly a billion events more physically, mentally and emotionally devastating (you might even say “traumatic” if that was a concept that existed more than 15 minutes ago… ) than doing office work from home and ordering dinner for curbside pickup instead of dining in the restaurant. For a period of like 16 months.

Try a world war, a famine, plague, the Great Depression, not having AC or running water, living in a place that has slavery or child labor, or having Ghengis Khan storm your village and stack the mutilated skulls of your entire family in the town square. You get the point.

How did we survive? Because what other choice is there. And COVID, in the US and among the DCUM set, barely registers as a hardship.



OP - I realize this is not the pain Olympics but I would say those of us with very very young kids during that time it was traumatic both physically, mentally and emotionally. I didn't even get a post partum check up after having my child for over a year. I sincerely thought suicide or getting covid so I could go get some sleep in a hospital would have been better than going on 4-5 months of 1-2 hours of sleep a day. Plus I had to keep my other kids alive and my DH needed to keep his job so we didn't lose our house and could keep said kids fed.

Of course there are many many worse things that have happened over the course of history to people, but to diminish what people went through is callous.

Isn’t that what you did in your original post?
Talking about children people and older kids?
You better check yourself before you wreck yourself!
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I felt bad for people who lived alone. That would have been so terrible and isolating.


I know a lot of people who lived alone and they weren't isolated. They enjoyed the quiet, had virtual happy hours and were able to work remotely.

Friends with small kids basically had their lives upended, many had to quit their jobs and had a lot of stress.
Anonymous
I once asked a friend who was a single mom of a baby how she does it. She looked at me dead in the eyes and said "Because I have to." OP, that's how. We get through difficult things because we have to.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have been thinking back to the beginning of the pandemic/shut downs and I wonder how I mentally survived it. When shutdown happened I had a newborn, 3 year old and 5 year old. Plus a husband who wasn't used to working from home, working 60-80 hours a week. My PPD spiraled out of control during March-April and I sincerely don't know how I managed to keep my newborn alive during that time. I was sleeping in 45 minute increments at night and up all day with my toddler/5 year old. Only saving grace was I that I didn't have to work since I was on maternity leave.

Now thinking back on it I am surprised that my family even managed to come out of that time unscathed. I think about all my friends who had older children or child free friends who were "living their best lives" and sometimes get sooo angry. I know it was all situational but god it was such a hard period of time for those of us with young kids. I also feel for parents who had older children who missed major life milestones like prom and graduation or pivotal years in college.


Well, maybe spend some time thinking about people who weren't on maternity leave and didn't have a spouse working from home. I don't play the suffering Olympics game, but to get angry that some people had it easier than you while not acknowledging that so many people had it worse than you is trite. I had young kids and yeah, it was really hard, but no one in my family died and neither my husband nor I had to be on the front lines, so any time I thought about complaining about anything, I instead became thankful at how good we truly had it.


Agreed. OP sounds like she was probably very sheltered and took alot for granted before the pandemic, and then started to “see the light” about suffering a bit when something finally actually impacted HER.
Anonymous
Our Covid time wasn’t remotely bad. No trauma there. Actually, we had a lot of good times.

But if I had PPD, a newborn and two other littles? I would have lost my mind.
Anonymous
Little kids are usually home anyway being breastfed. I think it was worse for younger elementary kids who hadn't yet formed close friends and who missed out on years of face to face socialization in school. Older kids who had friends could just get together online or outdoors.
Anonymous


I had to get therapy to deal with what is probably ptsd. My colleagues and I all joke that we have it but none of us laugh. Many of us quit (actually 20% of the healthcare workforce if you span across skill levels. If you're wondering why you can't get in to see your doctor 2 years later this is why).


I’ve been wondering what the doctors did after quitting? Was it mostly women who became SAHMs and older doctors who retired early?
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