When performance review suggested more gravitas..

[Anonymous]

How does one display more gravitas? What is gravitas?

I am a young 30’s female WFH and well-regarded. It was the only weakness cited on my recent review.

I do not giggle or upspeak. I don’t flip my hair.

Thank you for your suggestions. What worked for you?

[Anonymous]

I would ask for more specific feedback.

“Thanks for that feedback, I would like to develop in this area. Can you give me some thoughts on when and where I could show more gravitas? Who in our company dies it well that I can emulate?”

To me it’s one of those squishy, soft skills comments that is personal and subjective and probably a bit rooted in sexism. I wouldn’t overly worry about it but just realize that bias against women being their natural feminine selves in the workplace is alive and well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask for more specific feedback.

“Thanks for that feedback, I would like to develop in this area. Can you give me some thoughts on when and where I could show more gravitas? Who in our company dies it well that I can emulate?”

To me it’s one of those squishy, soft skills comments that is personal and subjective and probably a bit rooted in sexism. I wouldn’t overly worry about it but just realize that bias against women being their natural feminine selves in the workplace is alive and well.

+1. We can guess, but none of us will know exactly what your supervisors meant. Asking them would be best.

[Anonymous]

Where I would that would be inadmissible. I would suggest commanding a room, speaking more definitely (no I think or maybe), and generally displaying more confidence and certainty in you approach.

[Anonymous]

Might you work for a large law firm and the feedback came from a partner? I had this happen to me. I think it’s incredibly sexiest fwiw. But yes agree with previous posters that you should ask for more specific feedback since “gravitas” is very subjective. I would ask “can you give me some specific examples where I haven’t shown gravitas and what could I have done better?” And don’t let them wiggle out of it by being vague. Really drill them down on it. Because it will either lead to actually useful feedback for you or it will point out to the giver of the feedback just how sexist and subjective it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Might you work for a large law firm and the feedback came from a partner? I had this happen to me. I think it’s incredibly sexiest fwiw. But yes agree with previous posters that you should ask for more specific feedback since “gravitas” is very subjective. I would ask “can you give me some specific examples where I haven’t shown gravitas and what could I have done better?” And don’t let them wiggle out of it by being vague. Really drill them down on it. Because it will either lead to actually useful feedback for you or it will point out to the giver of the feedback just how sexist and subjective it really is.

+100
Gravitas? Basically they are asking you to change your personality at work.

[Anonymous]

The word is usually taken to mean an impactful presence, reflecting thoughtfulness, authority, and confidence. Someone with gravitas presents as serious, confident, mature, and indubitably capable. You don't shoot from the hip, are deliberate instead of reactive, and speak, dress, and behave like the most senior and most successful people in your industry. Fads and trendy fashions in attire and speech have no impact on you.

But, as others have said, inquire further to try to better fully understand what is meant in your specific case.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like bull shit and a bad review and manager where someone is afraid to give you proper feedback

[Anonymous]

I think this feedback is less about tone of voice and more about conveying power and command. One thing you can do is focus on not speaking when you don't have anything important to add, and making sure you do speak up when you have something important to add.

[Anonymous]

wear fake glasses
wear make-up and do your hair in a professional way
Take a breathe before speaking
change your body language -- sometimes stand up while speaking, rest your hands in a power position, stand in a power pose, etc see what works for you

But don't worry too much, they might just be agist or racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like bull shit and a bad review and manager where someone is afraid to give you proper feedback

I don’t see that at all

[Anonymous]

Become tall and male.

[Anonymous]

This is a tough one OP bc it does point to your general personality or it might be your youth (but you aren’t that young)

Think of a female leader that you’ve known who was respected, heard, had authority in a meeting room full of leaders, was taken seriously,.. but also still liked. What does she do? How does she say things? How does she address issues? Respond to interruptions or naysayers? How does she handle herself outside of a meeting, in the hallway, at an evening event?
I will say, if you’re very light airy fun, you may not be a fit for leadership roles in the company so look around you and above you and if more women are the gravitas type vs the fun high positive type you may need to look outside your current company for profession in the long run. Basically, that’s what the feedback means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like bull shit and a bad review and manager where someone is afraid to give you proper feedback

I don’t see that at all

As a manager I would never give this feedback it's sexist and meaningless, I manage a team of 15 in including managers for a multi billion company and would never give this feedback

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like bull shit and a bad review and manager where someone is afraid to give you proper feedback

I don’t see that at all

As a manager I would never give this feedback it's sexist and meaningless, I manage a team of 15 in including managers for a multi billion company and would never give this feedback

I worked for F300 and we used this feedback for employees at the Director level who were excellent at their level bc they were operational executors, solid managers kind people liked them but who were never going to make the turn to VP level.