Do you lord money and control over your adult offspring?

[Anonymous]

If so, why? What’s the point?

[Anonymous]

To make them do what I want them to do. If you do X, I will give you X amount in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To make them do what I want them to do. If you do X, I will give you X amount in return.

Same poster. Now, ask me how that's worked out.

[Anonymous]

You can only do that if your adult kid needs or wants your money.

[Anonymous]

No one is going to admit it, because the ones that do it don't realize they do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can only do that if your adult kid needs or wants your money.

No.

You can try to do that if they don’t but it’s up to them if you are successful at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can only do that if your adult kid needs or wants your money.

No.

You can try to do that if they don’t but it’s up to them if you are successful at it.

Right. And they’re only successful if you want or need the money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To make them do what I want them to do. If you do X, I will give you X amount in return.

Then hire them like you would any other service provider. With a written contract at will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To make them do what I want them to do. If you do X, I will give you X amount in return.

Then hire them like you would any other service provider. With a written contract at will.

It’s an informal contract. If you can’t abide by the terms, don’t take the money. It should be an incentive to be fully independent.

[Anonymous]

My mother did this to the extreme.

It didn't happen in a vacuum; she was a nasty, controlling person and used many tools -- money was just one of them. If only I had a dime for every time she started going on with "I will disinherit you!!!!" She finally did change her will to give me less when I voted for Obama, lol.

[Anonymous]

There's a simple way to deal with this: stop asking your parents for money. You are an adult. Support yourself. Pay your own bills. If you can't afford your lifestyle, change your lifestyle. Don't wait for an inheritance. Have no financial dealings with your parents at all. You will much, much happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother did this to the extreme.

It didn't happen in a vacuum; she was a nasty, controlling person and used many tools -- money was just one of them. If only I had a dime for every time she started going on with "I will disinherit you!!!!" She finally did change her will to give me less when I voted for Obama, lol.

“Didn’t happen in a vacuum “ makes no sense in whatever you are trying to say.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the parent or the adult child in your scenario?

[Anonymous]

No. I’ve seen first hand what damage that can do. Don’t expect to receive support in your old age if you do that. No amount of inheritance is worth that abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I’ve seen first hand what damage that can do. Don’t expect to receive support in your old age if you do that. No amount of inheritance is worth that abuse.

So people take all the money and help and then say F-U? Why not just be an adult and make your own way?