What to do with my sweet boyfriend

[Anonymous]

He likes to “make love” which I also want to do, but I also like adventurous, imaginative, vigorous, wild sex. This seems to be new territory for him. I really enjoy the latter and don’t want to give it up, but I love him. Can this be taught or inspired?

[Anonymous]

It can be taught to an extent. Ease him into it. Most men have a primal side

He might still not be as wild as you want, but he can probably shift a bit.

[Anonymous]

I was in your exact situation. I married him. It hasn’t changed. He is an amazing husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in your exact situation. I married him. It hasn’t changed. He is an amazing husband.

That’s the thing! I love him so much and he is an amazing caring supportive helpful kind hardworking disciplined adorable human whose love language is acts of service. Part of the issue is that we’re the same size and I’m used to bigger/taller. But those men were nowhere near as wonderful as he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It can be taught to an extent. Ease him into it. Most men have a primal side

He might still not be as wild as you want, but he can probably shift a bit.

Thank you for this. Primal is the right word.

[Anonymous]

You can get him there. Watch porn together and have some wine. Trust me in this one. He just has to get more comfortable and uninhibited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can get him there. Watch porn together and have some wine. Trust me in this one. He just has to get more comfortable and uninhibited.

OP. I find porn totally unsexy and repulsive. That’s not really what I’m looking to emulate.

[Anonymous]

Ease him into it. My BF is like this too but he’s much taller than I am and jacked, so it’s a different dynamic.

But he’s the best human and I’ve seen him get more primal. Just takes time and comfort. But the primal mixed with the love-making in the same encounter is hot and intense.

I wouldn’t do the porn thing with him, though. He’s not the type. Definitely have a couple drinks and gradually get more vocal in bed and see if he adapts as he gets more comfortable. And objectify him a bit.

Men are also taught to be super respectful and careful these days, so both your comfort is key.

[Anonymous]

The obvious answer is to tell him what you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The obvious answer is to tell him what you want.

He knows. It’s almost like he finds it disturbing, although he recognizes my needs are valid and isn’t judging yet doesn’t think of himself that way.

[Anonymous]

How about some sexy movies that aren’t porn?

[Anonymous]

It can be taught but he has to be into it. FWIW, I'm more adventurous and kinky than DH. He definitely has learned some new things in the years we've been together but there are things hes no comfortable with and I don't push him. We have a great sex life. Hes a wonderful husband, partner, and dad so the stuff I gave up in our sex life was well worth what I gained with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The obvious answer is to tell him what you want.

He knows. It’s almost like he finds it disturbing, although he recognizes my needs are valid and isn’t judging yet doesn’t think of himself that way.

Yikes.

How old are you, OP?

You either have to be fine with it, or break up. And if it’s the former, don’t expect him to change.

Sucks that he finds it disturbing. Is this what he said or is it your impression?

[Anonymous]

Just tell him it would be fun to spice it up a little and ease into it. I’m not going to ask what you do but there are plenty of new positions to try in and off the bed. Start in the shower if you haven’t already. I wouldn’t attempt toys at this point. I can’t imagine a guy who would not respond to your interests.

[Anonymous]

Are you talking adventurous like toys and different positions or adventurous like specific kinks you want him to try? I can kind of see the latter being an issue if he’s just not into that kink. Although I personally am into anything that turns my partner on. Whatever that might be.