Why are people so judgy and easily offended now?

[Anonymous]

Not everyone I meet is like this but maybe 1 out of 3. Usually they’re on the younger side, under 40. Both online and offline. They twist your words to mean something completely different.

Example, using the word “female” to describe a woman which I occasionally do, and have heard countless other women use it in the exact same context. I sometimes get called out for it by these easy to offend types.

Another person got offended when I said I have a wife, key word *have*, implying that I somehow meant that my wife was my literal property simply because I used a possessive verb.

In another example, I was giving advice to a younger family member who is having financial troubles and is starting out in the art field, I mentioned that art is known to not pay too well in general, they told me this comment was offensive as if I was diminishing the importance of the art profession.

[Anonymous]

People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

Yes, but why are things different now? What caused the shift? Do you think it’s a good or bad thing? I feel like in 10-20 years the language that 25 year olds feel is acceptable now will be considered offensive in some other way.

[Anonymous]

because they are liberals who want to be offended any way they can. And criticize while they are at it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because they are liberals who want to be offended any way they can. And criticize while they are at it!

true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

Yes, but why are things different now? What caused the shift? Do you think it’s a good or bad thing? I feel like in 10-20 years the language that 25 year olds feel is acceptable now will be considered offensive in some other way.

Society changes and evolves over time - perhaps every 25 years or so? Some of it is due to technology (think computers, cell phones), some of it is media (television, movies), some of it is cultural (more diversity, etc), some of it is political. Point is, nothing is stagnant - including language, and people's attitude towards certain words and phrases.

[Anonymous]

PP is right. When you regularly have to check your ancient lingo and remember the new turns of phrase, you know you're old. It's not them, it's you. You didn't change fast enough. You're old.

I'm right there with you. My teens, who barely remember what they need to do from one day to the next, punctiliously diagnose all my weaknesses in that department, because they still harbor some hope that I can hoist myself into 2024, with a Herculean effort. They've entirely abandoned their father. Apparently his lingo is entirely last century and there's no hope for him. He's not even on social media, he can't get canceled. So he sits in supreme smugness while my teens work on me. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Because they’ve been raised by people who validated their every fart, god forbid little Johnny gets upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because they are liberals who want to be offended any way they can. And criticize while they are at it!

true

Meh. Liberals weren't the ones freaking out because someone said Happy Golidays instead of Merry Christmas. Plenty of conservatives with a chip on their shoulder, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

None of the examples that OP listed are offensive in any way. There is nothing wrong with those word choices - those who are offended by them would have been offended by something else. It doesn't matter to them, they are just offended.

[Anonymous]

Because Americans have a good life so they start creating problems out of nowhere
Signed, immigrant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because they are liberals who want to be offended any way they can. And criticize while they are at it!

true

not only true, but that attitude encourages people like OP to post!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

Yes, but why are things different now? What caused the shift? Do you think it’s a good or bad thing? I feel like in 10-20 years the language that 25 year olds feel is acceptable now will be considered offensive in some other way.

It’s different now because of social media where everyone gives a written opinion, thumbs up, hearts, etc. People used to feel they didn’t matter, but now they feel they need to be heard and that their opinion is really important. There is a pervasive idea that you have to speak up on everything, to call out instances of oppression, which may include word usage. I don’t agree that silence equals agreement and I don’t think everything needs to be called out, but I think I am in the minority. I think this includes people of all political persuasions; the topics are just different. And I do not think it’s a good thing, and yes, what’s acceptable will change yet again. For instance, I hear the word trauma used in a way that I do not think it means and I hear people use it all the time. But I’m old and it’s probably just something I don’t understand. I asked some younger work colleagues about it, because it’s starting to be used in our professional literature, and they described it in a way that does tell me it’s a new definition, and also that it’s just a pervasive human condition, and maybe that’s true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."

None of the examples that OP listed are offensive in any way. There is nothing wrong with those word choices - those who are offended by them would have been offended by something else. It doesn't matter to them, they are just offended.

I don't think these comments belong in a group together, except a group of annoying interactions OP recently had. Too specific to him. They don't really represent the same stuff at all.

I wouldn't offended by someone saying "female" which is just a word, but I am aware from following news about misogynist groups on sites like 4chan (the self-named "incels") that they use the word female instead of woman and that the usage has become pervasive enough that some people associate it with them. I wouldn't assume someone who used it was an incel, but I might let someone I'm close to know of that association. That's not about people being oversensitive, it's about a fringe group adopting a certain term and changing its connotation due to their association. Incels are highly misogynist and sometimes scary, so personally I'd avoid using language that made me sound like one. But I wouldn't be offended by the word female.

I might note if someone used the word "female" but then referred to men as... men. I would wonder why the difference. So, something to consider.

Meanwhile anyone taking issue with "have a wife" is being overly critical or sensitive. The only person who should be weighing in on that phrasing would be OP's wife. I don't see why anyone else would care. My MIL still goes as "Mrs. FIL" in many settings because she wants to. My FIL would say "has a wife." While that's not how I would speak about my own relationship, I have zero problems with them saying it because it's their life and their relationship. Whoever was criticizing OP for this should mind their own business.

And the last example is OP being obnoxious. Yes, it is rude to tell someone who has expressed an interest in a certain field, "you know that field doesn't pay well." Because (1) I am 100% certain the person in question is aware the arts don't pay as well as, say, finance or medicine; and (2) it's judgmental and no one was asking for OP's position. There's no difference between this and telling a law student "you know lawyers get divorced at a higher rate." It doesn't matter if it's true. This is as situation where OP needs to mind his own business. Don't offer your opinion or insight into someone's chosen profession unless they ask. Also don't comment on someone's weight, and no one cares what you think of their hairstyle unless you love it. These are highly personal things and no one wants to litigate them in polite conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because they are liberals who want to be offended any way they can. And criticize while they are at it!

This. And it’s the millennials. Gen X isn’t so prickly.