Reply to Why are people so judgy and easily offended now?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]People are very sensitive to word choices and what they mean/imply. If you are describing a woman - say "woman," if you "have a wife" say you are "married" or have a "partner."
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None of the examples that OP listed are offensive in any way.  There is nothing wrong with those word choices - those who are offended by them would have been offended by something else.  It doesn't matter to them, they are just offended.  [/quote]

I don't think these comments belong in a group together, except a group of annoying interactions OP recently had. Too specific to him. They don't really represent the same stuff at all.

I wouldn't offended by someone saying "female" which is just a word, but I am aware from following news about misogynist groups on sites like 4chan (the self-named "incels") that they use the word female instead of woman and that the usage has become pervasive enough that some people associate it with them. I wouldn't assume someone who used it was an incel, but I might let someone I'm close to know of that association. That's not about people being oversensitive, it's about a fringe group adopting a certain term and changing its connotation due to their association. Incels are highly misogynist and sometimes scary, so personally I'd avoid using language that made me sound like one. But I wouldn't be offended by the word female.

I might note if someone used the word "female" but then referred to men as... men. I would wonder why the difference. So, something to consider.

Meanwhile anyone taking issue with "have a wife" is being overly critical or sensitive. The only person who should be weighing in on that phrasing would be OP's wife. I don't see why anyone else would care. My MIL still goes as "Mrs. FIL" in many settings because she wants to. My FIL would say "has a wife." While that's not how I would speak about my own relationship, I have zero problems with them saying it because it's their life and their relationship. Whoever was criticizing OP for this should mind their own business.

And the last example is OP being obnoxious. Yes, it is rude to tell someone who has expressed an interest in a certain field, "you know that field doesn't pay well." Because (1) I am 100% certain the person in question is aware the arts don't pay as well as, say, finance or medicine; and (2) it's judgmental and no one was asking for OP's position. There's no difference between this and telling a law student "you know lawyers get divorced at a higher rate." It doesn't matter if it's true. This is as situation where OP needs to mind his own business. Don't offer your opinion or insight into someone's chosen profession unless they ask. Also don't comment on someone's weight, and no one cares what you think of their hairstyle unless you love it. These are highly personal things and no one wants to litigate them in polite conversation.[/quote]

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