Can I declare a moratorium on cooking?

[Anonymous]

Im waving the white flag!

I’m so tired of the constant complaints about the food offered in this house. They are always starving and want to eat but the. never want to eat what I make. No matter what I make, someone has something to complain about. And no, I’m not making anything gross or exotic. It could be the same macaroni and cheese they liked last week.

I feel like all I do is plan, shop for, cook, and clean up food that either the kids won’t eat, or that someone (even DH) will complain about.

What set me off tonight was my offer to make ice cream sundaes for everyone for dessert, and my grown adult husband complaining about the chocolate syrup on top. I’m seriously considering buying boxes of cereal and milk, bread with lunch meat and peanut butter, and going on strike. Am I being dramatic? Tell me if I need to grow up and get over myself. Better yet, tell me what to do about the ungrateful people in this house!

[Anonymous]

Hell no. If you didn't cook it, you don't get to complain. All you get to do is clean up.

Why are you the only one cooking anyway? No way I'd put up with that kind of sh!t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hell no. If you didn't cook it, you don't get to complain. All you get to do is clean up.

Why are you the only one cooking anyway? No way I'd put up with that kind of sh!t.

I cook because logistically it works out that way; DH doesn’t get home during the week until 7pm. I don’t cook on weekends, but I did offer to make tonight’s dessert.

[Anonymous]

How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

Wtf would this matter? Because someone doesn’t have a job outside the home or works part-time, they deserve to be abused by their kids and spouse? Gtf out of here!

Cereal next week! Don’t like it, complain to General Mills.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is extremely frustrating when you go to the trouble and the little sh!ts complain about it.

My advice: 1. Keep at it and keep making different things, it does expand what they will eat over time. 2. Find some super easy dishes to do some nights that you know they will eat, and alternate that with more interesting stuff. 3. As soon as they are able (which is younger than you think) have them participate in making the food, starting with dressing the salads etc. When they are teens they should be cooking the family meal some nights. 4. Tell your husband his behavior is offensive.

[Anonymous]

I think your proposal is probably reasonable but we need to know more, like the ages of the kids and if you work outside the home.

If you're a SAHP or only work part-time, then I think it's fair for your spouse to consider the cooking part of your job, BUT he still should be polite about any feedback (and the kids should too). I found that having a conversation with all of them about how frustrating and hurtful it is really helped. Even saying something like "This isn't my favorite, but thanks for making it. I know you can't make my favorites every night" is really helpful. If the kids are over 5, I think that's a reasonable request from them. My kids also know that if they don't like it, they can get themselves bread and butter and fruit, or a tortilla and cheese, etc. I've also told my family that they should make a list o things so I don't have to meal plan, but that's never really been successful for me- they make a list of like 4 things and I can't cook the same 4 things constantly.

I definitely cook less than I otherwise would because it gets so repetitive cooking for people who are so picky about stuff. So we hvae a bunch of frozen food from TJ or Costco in the freezer and if I don't feel like cooking, they can heat that up for themselves.

[Anonymous]

You need to have a come to Jesus talk with your husband about his attitude. In our house whichever parent didn't cook dinner thanks the other one at some point during the meal for making it for us. We want the kids to learn to appreciate when someone is putting in effort for us.

[Anonymous]

I'd have one conversation with my husband and another with my kids. I would tell DH that it's hurtful when he complains about the food I offer. Even he just thinks he's complaining about a component (e.g. chocolate syrup) and not my complaining, I'd let him know that it's disrespectful of the time and energy I spent shopping/cooking/preparing. If he wants a different thing from the grocery store, he can put it on the grocery list or get it himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

Wtf would this matter? Because someone doesn’t have a job outside the home or works part-time, they deserve to be abused by their kids and spouse? Gtf out of here!

Cereal next week! Don’t like it, complain to General Mills.

Well, I think it matters because it's a reasonable question about the division of labor in the household. Someone that doesn't work outside the house is going to carry more of that load (absent a disability or something). And if something is your "job," you need to be open to suggestions about how to do it. But I agree that those should be constructive and politely conveyed.

This is different, but one of the things that drives me nuts about my spouse is that he just thinks I should be grateful for however he does something -- even if he does a crappy job at it. So if he puts stuff away, but all in the wrong place, he gets pissed off when I ask him to put the stuff away in the right place next time. I think that part of the deal with splitting up household labor is that you should make some effort to do whatever it is you're assigned to do in a way that will meet reasonable expectations of both parties.
I don't think that's the problem that OP is having, but it is relevant. I mean -- I'm sure she wouldn't want to keep buying a brand of syrup that the whole family hates --- so if she's in charge of buying syrup, there should be a nice way for them to convey to her "Hey, we like Hershey's better than Magic Shell." The key is for that to be conveyed nicely.

And, of course, if they both work full-time and she's the only one doing the shopping, cooking, meal planning, that's a different problem.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?! Our 11 year old is responsible for Monday dinner. She’s making chicken parm tomorrow (frozen breaded chicken breasts). Our 13 year old is responsible for Wednesday night dinner. She’s making chili.

You need to learn how to delegate.

[Anonymous]

your husband complaining also makes it seem like complaining is ok. nip that in the bud.

i have gone on strike before. they noticed.

maybe you can scale back to just making the very easiest things for the near future.

my husband doesn't really eat much or care what we have, sometimes, cereal, but we can have something lite and easy and he is fine.

[Anonymous]

Under the circumstances I’d do cereal and PBJ’s for 2 weeks.

If they are bummed you explain how they should respond to your cooking.

If they love it, well stop wasting your time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

[Anonymous]

Time for a fixed menu. Everyone chimes in to help make the menu. Then those meals are what is for dinner, and everyone needs to just accept it and not complain.