Can I declare a moratorium on cooking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im waving the white flag!

I’m so tired of the constant complaints about the food offered in this house. They are always starving and want to eat but the. never want to eat what I make. No matter what I make, someone has something to complain about. And no, I’m not making anything gross or exotic. It could be the same macaroni and cheese they liked last week.

I feel like all I do is plan, shop for, cook, and clean up food that either the kids won’t eat, or that someone (even DH) will complain about.

What set me off tonight was my offer to make ice cream sundaes for everyone for dessert, and my grown adult husband complaining about the chocolate syrup on top. I’m seriously considering buying boxes of cereal and milk, bread with lunch meat and peanut butter, and going on strike. Am I being dramatic? Tell me if I need to grow up and get over myself. Better yet, tell me what to do about the ungrateful people in this house!

I think supplying food and taking a long break is totally fine. They are old enough to make a sandwich.

Delegating is good too. My kid really wanted a certain dish today. He cut up the produce and did a round of the dishes.

[Anonymous]

I gave up during the pandemic. I make a meal that I want to eat. If others want to join great. If not they can make their own. DC1 usually eats with me. DH is the pickiest of them all so he eats a lot of frozen food because he can’t be bothered. It’s not ideal I wish we could eat as a family more. But it’s reduced the tension and yelling in my house tenfold so I’m not going back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

There’s zero reason for them not to be cooking. None. Salads, pastas, stir fry, pizza, meatball subs, soups.

This is on you, op. Be the parent.

Your DH is another issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

There’s zero reason for them not to be cooking. None. Salads, pastas, stir fry, pizza, meatball subs, soups.

This is on you, op. Be the parent.

Your DH is another issue.

I don’t think it’s reasonable for there to be so many full meals prepared each day. That’s expensive! You don’t like the meatloaf I made, you can make a sandwich. Meatball subs? Are you honestly providing additional pounds of meat and ingredients ON TOP of the food you’ve prepared? Talk about being the parent! They can get jobs if they want to eat like that!

[Anonymous]

In my house everyone is allowed to critique the food. It's very important. I do not want people to suffer in silence when a little tweak could make everything better. The critique needs to be reasoned and expressed properly.

But here it sounds as though everyone takes you for granted. That's unacceptable. They need to cook and wash up, so they understand the work.

You are correct to force them to cook. They're old enough, and your husband is...let's not go there. If he's not cooking at 45, I would have some choice words for him. My 13 year old has been making very simple pasta dishes for a couple of years. My oldest teen has special needs, and only got into cooking recently, but it's been a joy to cook together. My husband cooks as much as I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
In my house everyone is allowed to critique the food. It's very important. I do not want people to suffer in silence when a little tweak could make everything better. The critique needs to be reasoned and expressed properly.

But here it sounds as though everyone takes you for granted. That's unacceptable. They need to cook and wash up, so they understand the work.

You are correct to force them to cook. They're old enough, and your husband is...let's not go there. If he's not cooking at 45, I would have some choice words for him. My 13 year old has been making very simple pasta dishes for a couple of years. My oldest teen has special needs, and only got into cooking recently, but it's been a joy to cook together. My husband cooks as much as I do.

Want to add that when they cook, it's for the family, unless specified that they're just making a dish for themselves and their friend or something. We have a small fridge and no space or money to waste food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

There’s zero reason for them not to be cooking. None. Salads, pastas, stir fry, pizza, meatball subs, soups.

This is on you, op. Be the parent.

Your DH is another issue.

I don’t think it’s reasonable for there to be so many full meals prepared each day. That’s expensive! You don’t like the meatloaf I made, you can make a sandwich. Meatball subs? Are you honestly providing additional pounds of meat and ingredients ON TOP of the food you’ve prepared? Talk about being the parent! They can get jobs if they want to eat like that!

No, those are the meals an 11 and 13 year old should be able to make for the entire family when it’s their night to cook. Not meals they get to make when they don’t like moms cooking. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

Can be bold and direct and say family needs to do box/frozen food or takeout for next week b/c you need break from cooking or more passive and say doing it b/c need to focus on other things- work, etc. Either way, take a cooking holiday. Do be prepared if they do takeout for when start cooking again they may say “why can’t we have [fill in restaurant here]” and how you will respond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

Can be bold and direct and say family needs to do box/frozen food or takeout for next week b/c you need break from cooking or more passive and say doing it b/c need to focus on other things- work, etc. Either way, take a cooking holiday. Do be prepared if they do takeout for when start cooking again they may say “why can’t we have [fill in restaurant here]” and how you will respond.

Or just cook your favorite foods for a week and let them know in advance what having and they can join you or make their own AFTER you make yours. Stock pantry and fridge/freezer with easy to heat up things they can do by self so already easy options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

Thanks OP. I’m the person who asked it. This is important because it helps determine how much responsibility others can take. It’s time to have a family meeting where there is a new division of labor. Your spouse and kids need to take on the labor of meal prep and clean-up. Of course, this will take work and planning. I suggest a basic menu that rotates. Something like…
M-Tacos
T-Pasta
W-Breakfast for dinner
Th-Hamburgers
F-order out
Sat & Sun You and spouse prep

Everyone takes one night to prep AND clean up. You and spouse make the shopping list and have everything ready to go.
Have a family meeting every Sunday to go over the schedule and talk through any issues that are coming up. If there’s an evening practice or event, adjust the calendar.
And set some ground rules around communication with compliments.

[Anonymous]

At that age they can be told they’re being disrespectful. DH should know better too.
I have an 11yo and this age is hard I get it. But I flat out told her if she’s going to disrespect me by complaining about food I made she can go without that meal.
It’s great some of your kids this age can make dinner but my kid would be clueless lol. She can make ramen with chicken and veggies added, quesadillas, oatmeal and eggs.
I could teach her I guess but I haven’t. I don’t feel like it’s important right now because either I’m home or I’ve prepared something she can eat with our sitter ( twice a week)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

They are 11 and 13 (DH is 45 lol) and yes, I do work.

Oh hell. Cereal or sandwiches until they clue in. They make their own and clean up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the children?
Do you work outside the home full-time?

Wtf would this matter? Because someone doesn’t have a job outside the home or works part-time, they deserve to be abused by their kids and spouse? Gtf out of here!

Cereal next week! Don’t like it, complain to General Mills.

I don't think the question of SAHM or not matters, but the question of how old definitely matters. If your 3 year old complains about their food, you correct their manners and keep feeding them a healthy diet. If your 13 year old does, you are welcome to say "here's what's in the fridge, have fun. I'm off duty!"

[Anonymous]

I’d call a family meeting and read them the riot act. Put the fear of God in them.

[Anonymous]

Stop cooking for two weeks. Order every meal in. Everyone in the family gets a chance to choose a restaurant. If you don’t want to eat it, you make something for yourself. Tell you family, in a matter of fact, calm tone, that you are taking two weeks off. Not out of spite. But because you need a break. It’s hard to cook and meal plan. And so thankless. I’ve do this on occasion. It’s a good reset and will Make you less resentful about the cooking.