Can I declare a moratorium on cooking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im waving the white flag!

I’m so tired of the constant complaints about the food offered in this house. They are always starving and want to eat but the. never want to eat what I make. No matter what I make, someone has something to complain about. And no, I’m not making anything gross or exotic. It could be the same macaroni and cheese they liked last week.

I feel like all I do is plan, shop for, cook, and clean up food that either the kids won’t eat, or that someone (even DH) will complain about.

What set me off tonight was my offer to make ice cream sundaes for everyone for dessert, and my grown adult husband complaining about the chocolate syrup on top. I’m seriously considering buying boxes of cereal and milk, bread with lunch meat and peanut butter, and going on strike. Am I being dramatic? Tell me if I need to grow up and get over myself. Better yet, tell me what to do about the ungrateful people in this house!

The next one who complains cooks for a week. If they can't cook then they eat cereal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In our house, people who complain about dinner get assigned to make the next one.

My kids are much younger but I recently instituted this rule. We have a lot of freedom around food but I am strict about manners. Each person has at least one alternative thing they can eat any time (like PB sandwiches or cheese and crackers- my youngest is 5 so they are very simple). If they don’t want what I’ve made (which is annoying because I try really hard to have at least one component that each person likes in a meal, such as pasta that’s been left plain or whatever) they can make their own alternative food. But if there’s major whining or rude words about the dinner I’ve made (like saying it’s disgusting or something) they have to help make dinner the next night. This is actually a pretty big consequence because the only time we allow screens is 45 minutes while I cook so if you are helping you miss your screen time for the day. It works pretty well honestly. I’m still frustrated they won’t eat more variety but that’s a different issue.

It’s inexcusable your husband is complaining about your meal. My husband only cooks like once every two weeks and often it’s burned or over cooked or objectively not right. When that happens I still thank him for cooking and help the kids take off burned bits and do what I can to demonstrate the meal is edible. In return he has never said a bad word about anything I have cooked ever. I feel like that is a very very bare minimum expectation for an adult who lives in your house?

[Anonymous]

In general I find that dropping the rope on this stuff is the best approach in a number of ways. You’re less stressed and resentful, the kids are learning independence and life skills, and also they have no one to blame but their own selves for the negative consequences they will inevitably experience at some point (eg having to eat school lunch because they forgot to ask me to get more bread for sandwiches). Just stop! You’re allowed to do that! Everyone else will figure something out!

[Anonymous]

Tell your husband to be a better role model for your preteen and teen and stop complaining about the food.
Talk to kids and say it’s disrespectful and to stop.
Have them prepare at least one meal per week that he supervises.
Once they see how much work is involved and once DH stops being a d**k and tells kids to stop complaining because it’s disrespectful, things should get better!

[Anonymous]

I’m the main cook in the family and am also exhausted by the meal planning, shopping, cooking and accommodating everyone’s tastes. Thankfully my DH doesn’t complain and will basically eat anything. I did find something that worked until Covid hit. Every weekend I’d alternate each kid to sit down with me and meal plan and take them grocery shopping with me. It was an awful chore for them but eventually became a bonding time. I’d let them pick out 1 or 2 special food items during each shopping trip. Then Covid hit and that fell by the wayside and I didn’t start it up again now that they are teens. But it was an effective way to get them more involved in the food aspect of our lives so they complained less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave up during the pandemic. I make a meal that I want to eat. If others want to join great. If not they can make their own. DC1 usually eats with me. DH is the pickiest of them all so he eats a lot of frozen food because he can’t be bothered. It’s not ideal I wish we could eat as a family more. But it’s reduced the tension and yelling in my house tenfold so I’m not going back.

This but why can't you all eat at the same time as a family anyway?

[Anonymous]

During the pandemic-year my husband worked from home, I asked for my birthday present to be that he cooked for the week. As in - plan, buy and cook. By day 2, my husband was exhausted and my son threw up (he was trying to eat something he did not like).

I now have to cook all the time, but no one complains. I still dread the never-endingness of it, but at least the complaining stopped.

So yes, stop for a week. If your husband cannot cook due to getting home late from work, Buy some cereal and frozen waffles and canned soup, and let them fend for themselves.