Father not sleeping / early 80s

[Anonymous]

My father recently has not been able to sleep at night. He goes to bed around 9 and is up around 1, falls back asleep around 2, then is up from 3-5 and then sleeps until 6:00 or so. Some nights he does not get that much. He tried a few sleep aids from the Dr but felt awful during the day. He also does not like how he feels in the morning if he takes melatonin.

He tried to go to bed at 8 for a week and that did not help, then tried going to bed a bit later and was very restless.

He is still pretty active during the day, but recently has not been as active since he says he feels tired from not sleeping well. He has also started to withdraw from events later in the day since he says he feels wiped out.

Any ideas?

[Anonymous]

He needs a cardiac work-up specifically and a full medical checkup in general. When my MIL started to sleep sitting up, we knew she was in heart failure. She had a pacemaker put in, which she now regrets, because she also has Parkinson's, and she now thinks she would have been better off dying from heart failure... the later stages of Parkinson's are no joke.

Aging is so hard.

[Anonymous]

As we’ve aged, sleep issues have become the norm. Sounds like he escaped it until much later than we did. Presuming there is nothing medical going on, some things that have helped for us are avoiding screens after early evening and reading for awhile before trying to sleep. Exercise helps. One of the best thing we’ve started is using a diffuser with a lavender scent. That has made an amazing difference for us - it has been months and we are still marveling that we can now get sleep.

[Anonymous]

This is normal for older people but you might get a sleep study to rule out apnea

[Anonymous]

Just going to second investigating heart issues, especially congestive heart failure. In hindsight, I’m fairly certain this is what my father was dealing with the last couple of years of his life, but neither his family nor his doctors figured it out. The sleep issues happen because the heart isn’t strong enough to pump the blood around when the person is lying down, so it pools in their chest and they have a hard time sleeping.

I knew nothing about this at the time, but for my dad, his sleep issues and other symptoms lined up with CHF.

[Anonymous]

OP here. My father had a full work up done last year and is due for another physical in 3 months. Will let my mom know about the cardiac portion- not sure how thorough his prior yearly was.

He has been in amazing shape and slept great until about a year ago, and past 6 months it really got bad. Seems his friends all were envious of him before - I did not know that so many had sleep issues as they aged.

Will check out lavender options - thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My father had a full work up done last year and is due for another physical in 3 months. Will let my mom know about the cardiac portion- not sure how thorough his prior yearly was.

He has been in amazing shape and slept great until about a year ago, and past 6 months it really got bad. Seems his friends all were envious of him before - I did not know that so many had sleep issues as they aged.

Will check out lavender options - thanks.

At his age, last year was one century ago. Cardiac issues can appear just like that. Don't wait for the 3 months check-up. Old people are like babies, OP. Fragile and need care rapidly when problems crop up.

[Anonymous]

400 mg magnesium glycinate, take it at 8:00 pm

L Theanine will also help, 100 or 200 mg, take at same time with the mag glycinate

He wont feel hung over from any of this.

[Anonymous]

Make sure he gets outside in early morning sun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:400 mg magnesium glycinate, take it at 8:00 pm

L Theanine will also help, 100 or 200 mg, take at same time with the mag glycinate

He wont feel hung over from any of this.

When my mom was in the hospital, they gave IV magnesium for sleep. So this seems to be medically endorsed.

[Anonymous]

God I wish I slept as well as he does, and I'm only 56. If he's awake, he should get up and do something. Read a book, do the dishes, a hobby. Then just go back to bed and sleep late. Having multiple sleep cycles is perfectly normal and shouldn't be medicated away.

[Anonymous]

OP - thanks for all of the replies. He made a call to his Dr to get an appoint before his physical to discuss his sleep concerns / check his heart.

He really does not want to take any meds - but is looking for natural alternatives that might help.

This has been eye opening to me since I had no idea how many are affected by poor sleep/ atypical sleeping patterns. My grandparents all slept well, and up until now both of my parents have. But in speaking with more of my friends it seems it is much more common to start having sleep disruptions around 60. So I guess my father has really been lucky!

[Anonymous]

My 86 YO mom is in CHF, takes Warfarin (a blood thinner) lives with untreatable atrial fibrillation and opted not to have surgery to repair an abdominal aortic aneurysm. All this and she complains that she sleeps too soundly, too deeply and is bothered by vivid dreams. Refuses to nap during the day. Has discussed repeatedly with gerontologist. This doctor has reassured us both that sleep cycles and quality varies so much and for my mom, is likely a new normal. Dr. encouraged my mom to re frame her thoughts about sleeping too deeply.

[Anonymous]

My father started taking naps after lunch. That would keep him going until after dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God I wish I slept as well as he does, and I'm only 56. If he's awake, he should get up and do something. Read a book, do the dishes, a hobby. Then just go back to bed and sleep late. Having multiple sleep cycles is perfectly normal and shouldn't be medicated away.

I was going to say that too. If I sleep until 4.30am, it's like a late lie in.

He probably has prostate problems too that make it impossible to sleep through the night.