Difficult ex wife

[Anonymous]

Ok,

We are 1 year post divorce. The divorce surprisingly was uneventful, we used a mediator and agreed on everything. She asked for the divorce after having given me a list of things I failed to do throughout our marriage. As soon as the divorce was finalized she started dating and seemed very happy. When I pick up the kids we have quick chats and every time I ask her how she is doing she reminds me how happy she is and make a point to point out how better her life is with her new flame etc.

Now she has turned into a complete maniac. The other day I told her I was going on a date if she could watch our kids. She said No. A few hours later I got close to 20 text messages quizzing me about this girl imposing demands declaring that our kids will never see her etc. Anyways I ignored her and I thought she was just having a bad day with her new flame . Nope it’s total nightmare. She is taking me to court to revisit child custody, she also thinks that I got a promotion and make more and therefore she is going to go to court for higher child support payments. And she is now also sabotaging my time with our kids. I feel like she doesn’t want me to be happy. If I cheated on her or treated her badly during our marriage maybe I could understand her nutty behavior. Nope. She has gone crazy.

Anyone dealt or is dealing with a crazy ex spouse? When you divorce someone isn’t it over? I am just confused. This cannot be jealousy because we are not married anymore. Anyways I hope she gets back to her senses….She is 42 years old, I don’t get it….

[Anonymous]

Yes, they exist. That's why a rock solid agreement needs to be in place and no give and take about dating. Thats for friends. Not ex spouses.

[Anonymous]

No, it is jealousy. She thinks she still owns you. She thought the grass was greener, elsewhere, left you, and despite her posturing that everything is awesome, maybe it really isn't, and she's just realizing that you are making your own life now and might be with other women who are far more congenial to you than she ever was! Major, major green-eyed monster going on right now.

I hope she calms down soon. Next time choose better.

[Anonymous]

Why should your ex babysit while you go on a date? Grow up! Get a babysitter. Or date when you don’t have the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok,

We are 1 year post divorce. The divorce surprisingly was uneventful, we used a mediator and agreed on everything. She asked for the divorce after having given me a list of things I failed to do throughout our marriage. As soon as the divorce was finalized she started dating and seemed very happy. When I pick up the kids we have quick chats and every time I ask her how she is doing she reminds me how happy she is and make a point to point out how better her life is with her new flame etc.

Now she has turned into a complete maniac. The other day I told her I was going on a date if she could watch our kids. She said No. A few hours later I got close to 20 text messages quizzing me about this girl imposing demands declaring that our kids will never see her etc. Anyways I ignored her and I thought she was just having a bad day with her new flame . Nope it’s total nightmare. She is taking me to court to revisit child custody, she also thinks that I got a promotion and make more and therefore she is going to go to court for higher child support payments. And she is now also sabotaging my time with our kids. I feel like she doesn’t want me to be happy. If I cheated on her or treated her badly during our marriage maybe I could understand her nutty behavior. Nope. She has gone crazy.

Anyone dealt or is dealing with a crazy ex spouse? When you divorce someone isn’t it over? I am just confused. This cannot be jealousy because we are not married anymore. Anyways I hope she gets back to her senses….She is 42 years old, I don’t get it….

Please tell me that your divorce and custody agreements have something written in about requiring X number hours of mediation before going to court. Otherwise what’s to stop either of you from dragging each other to court at the drop of a hat?

[Anonymous]

Every woman that files for divorce thinks that not only she deserve better but is convinced that her next man will be an upgrade. You can thank our culture of giving every woman a queen crown whether deserved or not.

[Anonymous]

There is probably more to this story.

What does your agreement say about right of first refusal?

Absent any language to the contrary, your date is free to meet your kids. From an emotional well-being perspective, you should probably hold off until your relationship is a little more established, but ultimately it’s your call.

I have a high conflict ex. I don’t engage unless I have to, and then I keep it brief and neutral:

“Are you available to watch Larla on Friday night?”
“No.”
“Ok. See you at swap on Saturday.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok,

We are 1 year post divorce. The divorce surprisingly was uneventful, we used a mediator and agreed on everything. She asked for the divorce after having given me a list of things I failed to do throughout our marriage. As soon as the divorce was finalized she started dating and seemed very happy. When I pick up the kids we have quick chats and every time I ask her how she is doing she reminds me how happy she is and make a point to point out how better her life is with her new flame etc.

Now she has turned into a complete maniac. The other day I told her I was going on a date if she could watch our kids. She said No. A few hours later I got close to 20 text messages quizzing me about this girl imposing demands declaring that our kids will never see her etc. Anyways I ignored her and I thought she was just having a bad day with her new flame . Nope it’s total nightmare. She is taking me to court to revisit child custody, she also thinks that I got a promotion and make more and therefore she is going to go to court for higher child support payments. And she is now also sabotaging my time with our kids. I feel like she doesn’t want me to be happy. If I cheated on her or treated her badly during our marriage maybe I could understand her nutty behavior. Nope. She has gone crazy.

Anyone dealt or is dealing with a crazy ex spouse? When you divorce someone isn’t it over? I am just confused. This cannot be jealousy because we are not married anymore. Anyways I hope she gets back to her senses….She is 42 years old, I don’t get it….

Stop talking to her about your personal life. She is not your friend. She is your co-parent.

Tell her to take you back to court if she thinks that's best. If she is dating, remind her that the dating rules also apply to her so what ever she sets, she must also follow.

Nothing helps.. the best thing that happens is the kids turn 18 and off child support and you don't have to deal with them anymore except social situations.

[Anonymous]

Remain completely calm and document her meltdowns. Be polite, but less friendly chit chat with her. Reveal as little about you and your life outside the kids as possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No, it is jealousy. She thinks she still owns you. She thought the grass was greener, elsewhere, left you, and despite her posturing that everything is awesome, maybe it really isn't, and she's just realizing that you are making your own life now and might be with other women who are far more congenial to you than she ever was! Major, major green-eyed monster going on right now.

I hope she calms down soon. Next time choose better.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should your ex babysit while you go on a date? Grow up! Get a babysitter. Or date when you don’t have the kids.

This. Seems simple enough of a fix.

[Anonymous]

stop discussing your personal life with her. she is not your friend. she wants you to be miserable. don't fall into her trap.

[Anonymous]

Why did you tell her you had a date and ask her to babysit? That is 100% guaranteed to trigger most women shortly after a divorce. Her reaction is so obvious that it's almost like you did it intentionally because you like playing games with her.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to date when you have the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you tell her you had a date and ask her to babysit? That is 100% guaranteed to trigger most women shortly after a divorce. Her reaction is so obvious that it's almost like you did it intentionally because you like playing games with her.

What?’! The woman is already dating for God sake. And she started dating as soon as the divorced was final and OP waited a year. Come in now …