How long until he notices?

[Anonymous]

DH does not do laundry. He used to sort of do it, but wouldn’t switch clothes to the dryer or put away clean clothes. I finally made it my official chore out of annoyance with his unwillingness to follow through. Three weeks ago he came home from a trip and had to quickly leave for another, so he ran multiple partial loads of just his clothing even though I also had a lot of dirty laundry that could have completed the loads.

I’ve decided to only do my laundry from now on, since that’s what he did. The hamper is overflowing with just his clothing and he is acting like he hasn’t noticed. Based on the jeans he’s wearing from 2004, I’m sure he is aware that he is running out of clothing.

For the record, every other chore that he owns as “his” are ones that I pick up and complete if he can’t finish them or is traveling. If I am gone, chores that are “mine” are left until I return.

Anyway, bets on how long this goes on before he says something or does his laundry?

[Anonymous]

I mean, try using your words than being passive aggressive and expecting him to read your mind?

[Anonymous]

Ha ha! I've done this. He never learned - just had no clothes, re-wore dirty clothes, did laundry while blaming me. People on here say "use your words", "show him", "go on strike"... yeah. When you're dealing with someone who doesn't want to do better, well, they're never going to do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, try using your words than being passive aggressive and expecting him to read your mind?

I don’t want to use my words! I literally want to see how long this might last!

(It’s just as passive aggressive of him to only take care of himself or leave his chores incomplete. Not sure why I have to be the adult here.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, try using your words than being passive aggressive and expecting him to read your mind?

I don’t want to use my words! I literally want to see how long this might last!

(It’s just as passive aggressive of him to only take care of himself or leave his chores incomplete. Not sure why I have to be the adult here.)

I get this! Why not sometimes be passive aggressive? He doesn't have to read her mind, he has to do his laundry. No mind reading required. I mean, when he asks you can always say he set a precedent when he did his own clothes the other day and skipped yours - so you thought that was the new normal.

After that, however, I think you need to spell out that you aren't doing his laundry any more if you aren't planning on it. Since he can make it through 2 more work days I don't think this will come to a head until Sunday night (if he's a planner) or Monday (if he is not)

[Anonymous]

Imagine going through life thinking this sort of petty stuff is the way to solve problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine going through life thinking this sort of petty stuff is the way to solve problems.

But it is the way to solve problems. DH was transferring his problem (stinky clothes) to DW. Now DH will need to address his problem. I

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I've done this. He never learned - just had no clothes, re-wore dirty clothes, did laundry while blaming me. People on here say "use your words", "show him", "go on strike"... yeah. When you're dealing with someone who doesn't want to do better, well, they're never going to do better.

If my husband seriously could not wash clothes and do the bare minimum to not stink in order to maintain employment, I would consider divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Imagine going through life thinking this sort of petty stuff is the way to solve problems.

I don't think that's what OP is doing here. I think they're just sick of the bs. We all have a breaking point whether or not *you* think that breaking point is "good enough" or not.

Maybe try not to act holier than thou all the time or remove that stick before you respond to the next post.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]DH does not do laundry. He used to sort of do it, but wouldn’t switch clothes to the dryer or put away clean clothes. I finally made it my official chore out of annoyance with his unwillingness to follow through. Three weeks ago he came home from a trip and had to quickly leave for another, so he ran multiple partial loads of just his clothing even though I also had a lot of dirty laundry that could have completed the loads.

I’ve decided to only do my laundry from now on, since that’s what he did. The hamper is overflowing with just his clothing and he is acting like he hasn’t noticed. Based on the jeans he’s wearing from 2004, I’m sure he is aware that he is running out of clothing.

For the record, every other chore that he owns as “his” are ones that I pick up and complete if he can’t finish them or is traveling. If I am gone, chores that are “mine” are left until I return.

Anyway, bets on how long this goes on before he says something or does his laundry?[/quote]

Well how many pairs of underwear does he have left? Maybe by this weekend????

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH does not do laundry. He used to sort of do it, but wouldn’t switch clothes to the dryer or put away clean clothes. I finally made it my official chore out of annoyance with his unwillingness to follow through. Three weeks ago he came home from a trip and had to quickly leave for another, so he ran multiple partial loads of just his clothing even though I also had a lot of dirty laundry that could have completed the loads.

I’ve decided to only do my laundry from now on, since that’s what he did. The hamper is overflowing with just his clothing and he is acting like he hasn’t noticed. Based on the jeans he’s wearing from 2004, I’m sure he is aware that he is running out of clothing.

For the record, every other chore that he owns as “his” are ones that I pick up and complete if he can’t finish them or is traveling. If I am gone, chores that are “mine” are left until I return.

Anyway, bets on how long this goes on before he says something or does his laundry?[/quote]

Well how many pairs of underwear does he have left? Maybe by this weekend????[/quote]

Plenty of underwear, but by Saturday morning he’ll be in dress pants unless he fishes something out from the bottom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine going through life thinking this sort of petty stuff is the way to solve problems.

I don't think that's what OP is doing here. I think they're just sick of the bs. We all have a breaking point whether or not *you* think that breaking point is "good enough" or not.

Maybe try not to act holier than thou all the time or remove that stick before you respond to the next post.

It’s more she has some script in her mind of how he supposed to respond/react and expects he will “learn his lesson.”

Real life rarely plays out the way your fantasies do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Imagine going through life thinking this sort of petty stuff is the way to solve problems.

I don't think that's what OP is doing here. I think they're just sick of the bs. We all have a breaking point whether or not *you* think that breaking point is "good enough" or not.

Maybe try not to act holier than thou all the time or remove that stick before you respond to the next post.

It’s more she has some script in her mind of how he supposed to respond/react and expects he will “learn his lesson.”

Real life rarely plays out the way your fantasies do.

Oh, so true. Probably won't get the response she wants. But in the meantime, just enjoy the ride, boys.

[Anonymous]

DH and I have lived together for almost 10 years. We've pretty much always just done our own laundry. I don't consider it petty, we just do our own thing.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH does not do laundry. He used to sort of do it, but wouldn’t switch clothes to the dryer or put away clean clothes. [b]I finally made it my official chore out of annoyance with his unwillingness to follow through. [/b]Three weeks ago he came home from a trip and had to quickly leave for another, so he ran multiple partial loads of just his clothing even though I also had a lot of dirty laundry that could have completed the loads.

I’ve decided to only do my laundry from now on, since that’s what he did. The hamper is overflowing with just his clothing and he is acting like he hasn’t noticed. Based on the jeans he’s wearing from 2004, I’m sure he is aware that he is running out of clothing.

For the record, every other chore that he owns as “his” are ones that I pick up and complete if he can’t finish them or is traveling. If I am gone, chores that are “mine” are left until I return.

Anyway, bets on how long this goes on before he says something or does his laundry?[/quote]

Well how many pairs of underwear does he have left? Maybe by this weekend????[/quote]

It's [b]your [/b]chore.* when he did his laundry, he was doing part of your chore. You are mad that he did not do all of your chore by including thel laundry? It sounds like he's not great with the laundry, so I'm not sure why you wanted him to do yours anyway.

*I get that you don't think the laundry should be your chore. I get that you're still mad about that. However, that's a separate issue. Since you took on all the laundry (even begrudgingly) I don't understand why you are now mad at him all over again because he helped you with only part of it when he did his own clothes.

I really think the best thing for you to do is have a conversation where you say that you are no longer doing his laundry. Each do your own. That's fine so long as everyone is on the same page. If he doesn't transfer his laundry over, just stick in a basket when you need the machines to do yours.