How long until he notices?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha! I've done this. He never learned - just had no clothes, re-wore dirty clothes, did laundry while blaming me. People on here say "use your words", "show him", "go on strike"... yeah. When you're dealing with someone who doesn't want to do better, well, they're never going to do better.

+1 Like OP, I'm not doing DH's laundry any more. I'm resentful of the burdens I carry and am shedding tasks.

"Using my words" hasn't resulted in meaningful change so I'd be insane to keep doing it. DH is welcome to initiate a conversation if he doesn't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I have lived together for almost 10 years. We've pretty much always just done our own laundry. I don't consider it petty, we just do our own thing.

Us too. Never even discussed it.

Op just tell him you've decided on each doing your own.

[Anonymous]

Do you work?

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous]DH does not do laundry. He used to sort of do it, but wouldn’t switch clothes to the dryer or put away clean clothes. I finally made it my official chore out of annoyance with his unwillingness to follow through. Three weeks ago he came home from a trip and had to quickly leave for another, so he ran multiple partial loads of just his clothing even though I also had a lot of dirty laundry that could have completed the loads.

I’ve decided to only do my laundry from now on, since that’s what he did. The hamper is overflowing with just his clothing and he is acting like he hasn’t noticed. Based on the jeans he’s wearing from 2004, I’m sure he is aware that he is running out of clothing.

For the record, every other chore that he owns as “his” are ones that I pick up and complete if he can’t finish them or is traveling. If I am gone, chores that are “mine” are left until I return.

Anyway, bets on how long this goes on before he says something or does his laundry?[/quote]

oh my. another human being with a vagina complaining because they married an adolescent for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t do laundry or cook, or really anything, so I am divorcing him. Finances are an issue but there is always an answer to that if you want out bad enough.

Ladies - if finances are an issue that means your men are breadwinners. I would seriously consider doing the laundry for them because they earn more !

[Anonymous]

Laundry is literally the easiest household chore. It takes two seconds to throw a load in and walk away for an hour.

I cannot understand why this is the battle anyone would choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laundry is literally the easiest household chore. It takes two seconds to throw a load in and walk away for an hour.

I cannot understand why this is the battle anyone would choose.

What takes time for me is sorting and folding the items after it’s washed. I would just run and sort my own laundry. For his, I would just run the washer/dryer cycles and tell him go get his pile out of dryer. He’ll wear wrinkled but clean clothing won’t stink around me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t do laundry or cook, or really anything, so I am divorcing him. Finances are an issue but there is always an answer to that if you want out bad enough.

Ladies - if finances are an issue that means your men are breadwinners. I would seriously consider doing the laundry for them because they earn more !

Ooh ooh do me next. I want some of that magical money that men get just because someone on DCUM declares it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t do laundry or cook, or really anything, so I am divorcing him. Finances are an issue but there is always an answer to that if you want out bad enough.

Ladies - if finances are an issue that means your men are breadwinners. I would seriously consider doing the laundry for them because they earn more !

Not true. Sometimes it means the wife is the breadwinner and can’t afford to pay alimony and child support to a deadbeat dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laundry is literally the easiest household chore. It takes two seconds to throw a load in and walk away for an hour.

I cannot understand why this is the battle anyone would choose.

You clearly don’t actually do laundry

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH doesn’t do laundry or cook, or really anything, so I am divorcing him. Finances are an issue but there is always an answer to that if you want out bad enough.

Ladies - if finances are an issue that means your men are breadwinners. I would seriously consider doing the laundry for them because they earn more !

Not true. Sometimes it means the wife is the breadwinner and can’t afford to pay alimony and child support to a deadbeat dad.

OP said finances would be very difficult which likely means he brings more to the table AND she expects him to do household errands 50:50. She never responded who makes more. Yes, some women are breadwinners but statistically 70% chance her husband makes more money

[Anonymous]

Read the book the self driven child. Use the techniques on your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the book the self driven child. Use the techniques on your spouse.

Can you tell us more about these techniques?

[Anonymous]

Just to understand, you took up all laundry cause you are sick of seeing it. Then on a brief stay between trips your husband washed his things but failed to top off the loads to include yours. Solution is instead of saying “hey why did you not tip off the loads” and “I’m no longer washing your things” you are going radio silent on the matter. You are just settling up for a big fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to understand, you took up all laundry cause you are sick of seeing it. Then on a brief stay between trips your husband washed his things but failed to top off the loads to include yours. Solution is instead of saying “hey why did you not tip off the loads” and “I’m no longer washing your things” you are going radio silent on the matter. You are just settling up for a big fight

Yeah, this is my read on it as well. You already made the laundry your chore, so if your husband put any thought into his post-trip laundry doing at all (unlikely), he thought he was being kind and taking initiative instead of asking you to do it. He probably patted himself on the back. But because he didn't throw your clothes in too, you've decided it's not your chore anymore, but instead of telling him this, you're being the dictionary definition of passive aggressive. You could just say, "Hey, I don't really have time to do your laundry too. Let's do our own from now on." And yes, he'll think of himself as really helpful just for doing his own laundry, and that will be annoying, but you won't have to do his laundry any more so consider it a win.

I have a friend who waited to see how long her husband would keep refilling a dirty pan with soapy water instead of just washing it, but it turned out she was doing it in a "I love my goofy husband and I think this hilarious and I'm going to laugh with him about how many days it turned out to be" way, instead of a "I want to stick a fork in his forehead" kind of way. Life is short . . . don't sweat the small stuff.