Inappropriate weight room dude

[Anonymous]

Just a vent.

This has never happened to me before, but I am traveling, and was at the hotel gym doing my basic routine.

I am an older (52) slender woman, but I like to lift on the heavier side.

In the weight room, I grabbed a sixty pound barbell to warm up for RDLs and this older dude that works there (has a name tag) comes up to me in the middle of my set, motions for me to to take out my AirPods, and tells me that should I find the weight too heavy for my grip (I don't and I wasn't) I should try an over/under grip so I don't drop it.

I mean, WTH?!

He later approaches my 16 yo dd when she is on a machine and talks her into trying a different "more effective" machine.

Just gross.

I heard about that later, if I had seen it I would have flipped.

Meanwhile, this dude has nothing to say to any of the guys in the gym.

I am tempted to say something to hotel management.

Vent over.

[Anonymous]

Complain. At best, he's a mansplainer. At worst, he's a creep.

[Anonymous]

Well I don't know if what you described is in the category of "gross", it's more mansplaining which is also not okay but I wouldn't be creeped out by this dude just annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well I don't know if what you described is in the category of "gross", it's more mansplaining which is also not okay but I wouldn't be creeped out by this dude just annoyed.

Agree, it sounds like he is a bored old man looking for someone to talk to

[Anonymous]

Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

[Anonymous]

How did he respond when he “mansplained”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did YOU respond when he “mansplained”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

OP here. I disagree. I think it's inappropriate for an older man to be watching the women at a gym (even if he works there) and approaching them with "pointers" -- in my DD's case telling her to leave one machine and try a different one.

I say this as someone who has been in the weight room of my gym for years, surrounded by mostly guys, and never had this experience.

Also, it's just insulting to think that I, an adult woman, can't handle the barbell I am holding and need someone to come along and give me a tip. If I had been struggling, then it might make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

OP here. I disagree. I think it's inappropriate for an older man to be watching the women at a gym (even if he works there) and approaching them with "pointers" -- in my DD's case telling her to leave one machine and try a different one.

I say this as someone who has been in the weight room of my gym for years, surrounded by mostly guys, and never had this experience.

Also, it's just insulting to think that I, an adult woman, can't handle the barbell I am holding and need someone to come along and give me a tip. If I had been struggling, then it might make sense.

Whoa....you are very defensive OP. You need to chill out, you finding this entire interaction as gross and insulting says a lot about your insecurities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

OP here. I disagree. I think it's inappropriate for an older man to be watching the women at a gym (even if he works there) and approaching them with "pointers" -- in my DD's case telling her to leave one machine and try a different one.

I say this as someone who has been in the weight room of my gym for years, surrounded by mostly guys, and never had this experience.

Also, it's just insulting to think that I, an adult woman, can't handle the barbell I am holding and need someone to come along and give me a tip. If I had been struggling, then it might make sense.

Whoa....you are very defensive OP. You need to chill out, you finding this entire interaction as gross and insulting says a lot about your insecurities.

Disagree.

[Anonymous]

Learn to build some gym calluses. Smile and wave and move on. It’s not that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

Agree. He was giving suggestions. He wasn’t inappropriate. He offered, you said thanks, and everyone moved on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea I would complain to the hotel. What did you say to him when he “corrected” you?

OP never described being "corrected". He merely made a suggestion to both OP and her DD providing options to try, but did not "correct". Also the title of the thread is misleading - what she described is not at all inappropriate. I opened the thread thinking I was going to read something really alarming.

Agree. He was giving suggestions. He wasn’t inappropriate. He offered, you said thanks, and everyone moved on

+1. He works there. You have no idea if someone directed him to come give you options or if he was just being genuine. Why is everyone so quick to assume the worst in people? Say thanks and move on.

[Anonymous]

If he works there, he has an obligation to minizimize the gym's liability by calling out anything that's even potentially unsafe. So if you hurt yourself, they can say "We warned you."

He may or may not have been biased in his call-outs, you can't know. It's better to go through life giving the benefit of the doubt to people than being mad all the time.