My stipulation traveling with ILS?

[Anonymous]

ILs are fine. I get along fine with MIL but FIL can be a little overbearing. They have a timeshare that’s about an 8 hour drive away. We went with them a few years ago and it was fine. I think the part that made it bearable was that we drove ourselves there and met them at the timeshare. At the time we had a smaller car. They wanted to drive with us but we just didn’t have the room in our Honda.

They’ve invited us again and now want to drive with us; we have a larger car with third row now since having a kid. The thought of being stuck in a car with my FIL for eight hours sounds like a nightmare. I have no problem going on this trip for the week, but I want to tell DH that my stipulation in going is that we drive separately. Is this selfish of me?

*They are fine to drive and make the trip a couple times a year.

There is no easy way for me to fly in alone

[Anonymous]

You can still you have no space for their luggage “with all the baby gear.”

You’re spending a week together, this is a reasonable boundary.

[Anonymous]

Well, you should have kept your Honda.

[Anonymous]

Do not drive with them. Yes this is a reasonable boundary. Just say you want to be sure to have your own car, and that meeting them up there seems like the best option for the "most flexibility".

Have your DH deliver this news and just hold firm that they need to drive themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not drive with them. Yes this is a reasonable boundary. Just say you want to be sure to have your own car, and that meeting them up there seems like the best option for the "most flexibility".

Have your DH deliver this news and just hold firm that they need to drive themselves.

+1

[Anonymous]

Have your husband drive down with them and you fly down and back on your own. You suddenly have a “work conflict” that means driving won’t work.

Do your ILs feel unsafe driving themselves? If so, you drive down with kid and DH drives them down in their car. Or MIL rides with you and DH and FIL are in other car.

I wouldn’t want to only have one car at the vacation destination - means you are stuck at the hip the whole time (which sounds suffocating) - so between that and how you don’t want to be in a car with your FIL for 8 hours, I think your request is very valid.

[Anonymous]

Just tell them that you are happy to use them for a free vacation so long as you don’t have to drive with them. I’m sure they’ll understand.

[Anonymous]

It'll extend beyond driving there. You'll only have one car at the timeshare, so any offsite visits will have to be coordinated around who needs the car. Also, unless you got a full size SUV, the third row bench usually takes up all of the trunk space, and you'll have to fold it down to fit your luggage/baby gear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just tell them that you are happy to use them for a free vacation so long as you don’t have to drive with them. I’m sure they’ll understand.

I mean, we don’t even have to go on the vacation. We don’t need this trip, they want us to come. I’d just as easily plan our own trip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It'll extend beyond driving there. You'll only have one car at the timeshare, so any offsite visits will have to be coordinated around who needs the car. Also, unless you got a full size SUV, the third row bench usually takes up all of the trunk space, and you'll have to fold it down to fit your luggage/baby gear.

You know what, you’re probably right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It'll extend beyond driving there. You'll only have one car at the timeshare, so any offsite visits will have to be coordinated around who needs the car. Also, unless you got a full size SUV, the third row bench usually takes up all of the trunk space, and you'll have to fold it down to fit your luggage/baby gear.

+1

This is a very reasonable boundary to hold.

The other possibility is that you drive your child on your car, and your husband drives his parents in their car. Eight hours is a lot of driving for older people, so if he’s up for it, that’s a solid compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll extend beyond driving there. You'll only have one car at the timeshare, so any offsite visits will have to be coordinated around who needs the car. Also, unless you got a full size SUV, the third row bench usually takes up all of the trunk space, and you'll have to fold it down to fit your luggage/baby gear.

+1

This is a very reasonable boundary to hold.

The other possibility is that you drive your child on your car, and your husband drives his parents in their car. Eight hours is a lot of driving for older people, so if he’s up for it, that’s a solid compromise.

They are good to drive. They visit this timeshare and other places even further, multiple times a year on their own.

[Anonymous]

Noise cancelling earphones

[Anonymous]

It would be wrong if there was a legit reason for them to drive with you but if they do it often then you can say we'll meet you there as 5 people in one car for 8 hours sounds crowded.

That being said, I would take my ear buds and listen to music, podcasts and digital books to avoid too much small talk without being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It'll extend beyond driving there. You'll only have one car at the timeshare, so any offsite visits will have to be coordinated around who needs the car. Also, unless you got a full size SUV, the third row bench usually takes up all of the trunk space, and you'll have to fold it down to fit your luggage/baby gear.

+1

This is a very reasonable boundary to hold.

The other possibility is that you drive your child on your car, and your husband drives his parents in their car. Eight hours is a lot of driving for older people, so if he’s up for it, that’s a solid compromise.

They are good to drive. They visit this timeshare and other places even further, multiple times a year on their own.

NP. Definitely a reasonable boundary. As PPs have said, have your DH communicate this to them.