Please help! Should elderly mom with dementia come on annual beach trip -- siblings disagree!
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Anonymous
| Mom lives in assisted living in D.C. where she is checked on every 2 hours. She is quite frail and has dimentia and mobility issues. She can still eat, speak, converse, walk (with help) but is very confused and increasingly stubborn about dressing, bathing, sleeping in her bed, going places, etc. To break up the trip from D.C. to North Carolina, the sibling providing the transportation would break up the trip by having her spend the night at her house on both ends of the trip, which would amount to 10 days away from assisted living. We could hire a night nurse for the week at the beach. Our judgement may be clouded by feelings of guilt--how can we go to our annual family beach trip without Mom/Grandma?!? But is it really a good idea? It's risky for sure, but maybe it's a risk worth taking? She loves the beach and would love to sit on the deck and look out at the ocean. But she wouldn't be able to do anything beyond that. Thoughts? Anyone with a similar experience? TIA |
Anonymous
| No |
Anonymous
No thoughts on the matter, or no it's not a good idea? |
Anonymous
| Are you able to talk to her doctor? Changes in location and routine can be really upsetting. |
Anonymous
| At this point her routine is her safety net. It is short sighted and cruel to deprive her of it. Don’t do this. |
Anonymous
Good question. They tend to punt on giving a definitive answer. |
Anonymous
| It's a terrible idea, Op |
Anonymous
| I feel like you might have regrets. And I say this as someone who stretches for family. |
Anonymous
| I would say no. If your mom has a hard time with the change of routine, then you are hours from her home and it would be a nightmare for all of you. I would imagine spending a couple of nights at her old house would be really confusing and potentially upsetting for her. |
Anonymous
| pp again btw, I'm 60. I have had 4 elders pass. We loved each of them so much. It's a terrible idea Op |
Anonymous
| pp was 23:36 |
Anonymous
| Weekend yes, 10 days absolutely not. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Read your post. With the dementia it’s a very bad idea. |
Anonymous
| Wow. OP, here. I'm really glad I posted. Thank you all for your honesty. I really appreciate the responses. |