Coming from a lowkey racist WASP family

[Anonymous]

My family is full of subtly racist WASPs, nothing overt but they make little comments and their tone/body language is such that you can pick up on the fact they don't want you dating or marrying people of another race, that they look down on other races, etc. Feels awkward being around them and I've dated a number of women of other races. Anyone else experience something like this?

[Anonymous]

Sure. You have to decide who's more important to you.

[Anonymous]

My grandmother was a white supremacist, so I had the overt racism growing up. My father is not white, so that made it really fun. Everyone liked *him*, and *me*. But my grandmother told my mother, in front of me, that different races really should not marry.

I mean, it ended up being hilarious it was so wrong.

My cousins and I are very lefty and open-minded. The ones stuck in the middle are my mother and her siblings. They have made great progress. I suspect that some of them simply have made progress in overt to covert racism. But others really have grown to respect most skin colors and ethnic provenance.

Now on to sexual identity. Here everyone is Catholic or if not that, very socially conservative, so my family is still at square 0: fear and detestation.

[Anonymous]

Most of the families will judge whoever their children will date. That is a normal part of human behavior. The "Us" vs "Them" mentality.

This becomes racism if the SO of AC is another race. However, most people do not consider themselves racists or evil. So this is an implicit bias that they are not aware of and they can change themselves if it is pointed out to them in a very diplomatic and kind way.

- Non-White, non-Christian woman

[Anonymous]

Yes, my family (Asian) is like that. Not my generation or younger, just the olds. I ignore them most of the time and tell them off if needed.

[Anonymous]

I married into an old money WASP family. My kids and I call out my ILs and try to educate them when they're being racist/homophobic/bigoted/victim shamer/etc. but my ILs very much have the attitude of "I'm too old to keep up with all these new rules."

I've been married to my wife for 25 years and no matter how many times I've told her that the correct term is either people of color or black, she still calls them "colored people" and says that back then, they wanted to be called colored instead of other things. Um, yeah, I guess if the options were colored or n-word, I'd pick colored, too, Jacqueline!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married into an old money WASP family. My kids and I call out my ILs and try to educate them when they're being racist/homophobic/bigoted/victim shamer/etc. but my ILs very much have the attitude of "I'm too old to keep up with all these new rules."

I've been married to my wife for 25 years and no matter how many times I've told her that the correct term is either people of color or black, she still calls them "colored people" and says that back then, they wanted to be called colored instead of other things. Um, yeah, I guess if the options were colored or n-word, I'd pick colored, too, Jacqueline!

Is she from the south?

I'm 53, from Ca, and we didn't use the term "colored people".

[Anonymous]

Yes! I married an hispanic immigrant. My uncle started ranting about immigrants to my husband at my cousin’s wedding. I was horrified.


Another thing I find absolutely mind boggling is the Chevy Chase Catholics who love to try to imitate WASP culture. Like Catholics were as bad as minorities and immigrants to old WASP families. They weren’t allowed in country clubs or in the social register! It’s bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I married an hispanic immigrant. My uncle started ranting about immigrants to my husband at my cousin’s wedding. I was horrified.


Another thing I find absolutely mind boggling is the Chevy Chase Catholics who love to try to imitate WASP culture. Like Catholics were as bad as minorities and immigrants to old WASP families. They weren’t allowed in country clubs or in the social register! It’s bizarre.

It's like how Cubans support Rs, and tough immigration laws, including refugee laws, when many of them and their family members were recipient of our generous immigration laws.

Hypocrisy knows no bounds.

[Anonymous]

True WASPs aren't racist.

[Anonymous]

[google]

Anonymous wrote:True WASPs aren't racist.

Laughable! WASP culture is absolutely racist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[google]

Anonymous wrote:True WASPs aren't racist.

Laughable! WASP culture is absolutely racist.

No. True WASP culture is the type of Episcopalianism where you are very worried about racism and social justice but have no minority friends. It's about being overly obsequious to your housekeeper because she's "like family". It's about believing you couldn't possibly be racist because racism is a character flaw and WASPs don't have character flaws, they are the moral paradigms that all other Americans should strive to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:True WASPs aren't racist.

Ah, the no true Scotsman argument.

[Anonymous]

OP if you're from a WASP family then I'm sure you have subtly racist opinions on some POC work ethic. Probably shouldn't judge your family harder than yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes! I married an hispanic immigrant. My uncle started ranting about immigrants to my husband at my cousin’s wedding. I was horrified.


Another thing I find absolutely mind boggling is the Chevy Chase Catholics who love to try to imitate WASP culture. Like Catholics were as bad as minorities and immigrants to old WASP families. They weren’t allowed in country clubs or in the social register! It’s bizarre.

I hear you . But once you consider how exceptionally ignorant non-WASP white people are of their respective historical trajectories, then it's no longer that bizarre anymore .