How much of your daily life revolves around your kids?

[Anonymous]

At this point with 3 young kids (3, 6 and 8) I feel like every minute of the day revolves around my kids, their activities and their schedules. I work full time and kids are at daycare/school but I am constantly arranging my schedule to make sure I can drop them off in time for the bus, pick them up from the bus, feed them, do homework, get them ready for sports/activities, etc.

I know this is normal for their ages but at what point does your life become yours again? To be fair, DH and I plan date nights, have time to ourselves when we can fit it in and try to go away by ourselves at least once every year or every other year for at least a long weekend, if not for a week. But when we are in our normal every day lives I would say 90% of our time revolves around our kids and their needs.

[Anonymous]

My kids are now 6, 11 and 14 and it feels busier now. My older kids have sports practice 5x per week and play in all day tournaments on weekends. I often have 3 way conflicts.

[Anonymous]

“All day, every day….
Therapist, mother, maid…..”

I’ve been listening to that on repeat lately. I guess you could say nearly all of it?

[Anonymous]

It gets worse when they get older. They make their own plans, but you constantly have to drive them.

[Anonymous]

Scheduling revolves around the daycare schedule quite a bit. And daycare pickup -- bedtime revolves around kid almost daily. But otherwise not much. Only child life is bliss

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Scheduling revolves around the daycare schedule quite a bit. And daycare pickup -- bedtime revolves around kid almost daily. But otherwise not much. Only child life is bliss

Only child in daycare…. Wait until elementary and middle school

[Anonymous]

Kids are 9, 7 and 4 and our lives revolve around them too. There is the activities and school, but also playdates, birthday parties, sleepovers, etc. Having 3 kids does not help of course.

We have a nanny that we plan to keep to help for the week, but weekends are on us and we always have to divide and conquer

[Anonymous]

A lot of it. 2 kids (3 and 7). But we also choose to get involved in PTA activities, neighborhood stuff thats kid centric. We still make tome for date nights, going to concerts, travel without kids, hobbies without kids. But to do that we need a solid daily routine and not too many activities.

[Anonymous]

SAHM, but pretty much all. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping during the day, and homework in the afternoons then we are often at games or practices until 9:30 at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It gets worse when they get older. They make their own plans, but you constantly have to drive them.

It's not really worse but it's also not really better.

If you have social teens, they constantly want rides and you also can't leave them at home if they are hosting friends. At this age, their timing for plans is much more likely to coincide with when you want to have plans also (evenings and weekends).

While they physically might not occupy you every minute of every day the way little kids do, the old adage is also true...small kids, small problems and big kids, big problems. So the mental burden is different but there at all times.

[Anonymous]

All!! It’s the gig!

[Anonymous]

I also think it feels busier when they are older. We are driving kids around every single week night. When they were little there was a lot more control over the week night evening schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At this point with 3 young kids (3, 6 and 8) I feel like every minute of the day revolves around my kids, their activities and their schedules. I work full time and kids are at daycare/school but I am constantly arranging my schedule to make sure I can drop them off in time for the bus, pick them up from the bus, feed them, do homework, get them ready for sports/activities, etc.

I know this is normal for their ages but at what point does your life become yours again? To be fair, DH and I plan date nights, have time to ourselves when we can fit it in and try to go away by ourselves at least once every year or every other year for at least a long weekend, if not for a week. But when we are in our normal every day lives I would say 90% of our time revolves around our kids and their needs.

Everything, I often wonder about parents on here who are like I have my whole life aside from my kid.

I am like what? They are with you the moment they are born and they don't go away. lol I'm responsible for feeding, activities, mental health, weekend plans, school work, etc... I get getting away or having help but for those who don't they are around the clock priority and care.

[Anonymous]

It's parenthood. And it's normal.

When the kids are truly independent of you then you can start prioritizing things for yourself.

[Anonymous]

I only have one kid (5 years old) and I feel like my entire life revolves around her. My work schedule revolves around her, and even when I'm at work I always have stuff for her floating around in the back of my head, even as I focus on other things.

Even when I do things that have nothing to do with her, the timing of it revolves around her needs and timing. Like if I go out on my own or with my DH, I still have to make sure all her needs are met first, that we have childcare lined up and food arranged for her and also that we've prepared her for us to be out.

I thought this would change by the time she started school, but it hasn't. If anything, school is harder than daycare in terms of how much it requires of me. There is ALWAYS something -- random days off, paperwork, special theme day, teacher conference, fundraiser, etc. I'm not even hugely involved at school at this point, and it still takes up so much bandwidth. I naively thought once she started kindergarten I'd just send her to school and maybe help with homework sometimes in the evening. Nope.