What does this behavior sound like??
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Anonymous
| Daughter, 11, seemed to be normal until early 2020. Puberty and extreme family illness and lockdown hit all at the same time. Since then she has been increasingly what seems to be just plain some sort of mental illness. Lying about everything, stealing candy and food (from home) and hiding it in drawers and cushions, eating and leaving food everywhere on the floor and her bed, denial of her period and refusal to wear pads or bra, lashing out violently at parents and sibling, increasing apathy to schoolwork. Sucked into social media world, doing duck lip selfies and screenshotting rap people with vulgar subject matters, long nails, matted hair, and generally apathetic and antisocial behavior at home and to a lesser degree at school. This morning ( we are now very late as she is still in the shower, which she doesn't even do correctly or normally), I found that she had taken a pair of her wet pants from the washer and put them on her pile of clothes to wear to school. What does this sound like? Early onset schizophrenia? She is almost 12. She has become a different person completely since 2019. Entirely different personality. Seems like a criminal in the making with the lying, stealing, and general lack of empathy or self worth. She has a neuropsych in the fall scheduled, on the waitlist for earlier. The wet pants are just a tiny, PG rated example. Before that this morning she aggresively attacked and hit her brother (who is on spectrum) when he tried to get a pencil from the room she was in. What is this? I definitely feel that this is beyond my control to help her. We tried therapy, she would just lie to the therapist (we could hear through the wall), and the therapist refused to see parents in sessions so we had to cancel. She constantly tells me to shut up, gives me the finger behind my back, etc etc etc. The lying is constant. The lack of empathy is growing by the day. She has no remorse. She also has OCD behaviors since 2020. Only certain plates and cups she will use, has to touch them a certain number of times, anytime she touches me she has to wave away the contamination of me with her hands, etc etc. We have not yet had covid FWIW. I think she needs medication, but what type? Her father is in denial. |
Anonymous
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I’d get a walk-in evaluation at Merrifield children’s clinic in Fairfax. The full neuropsch is way too late obviously in the fall. It’s first come, first serve at Merrifield and books early in the morning. Your daughter could be diagnosed as bipolar or other serious illness, but I know many doctors don’t like to diagnose at a young age.
I hope you’re in with a current psychiatrist—ask for an urgent meeting by writing or by talking to staff. If you can try to go to a NAMI zoom or in person meeting. The attendees often have good recommendations to match your case. |
Anonymous
| I’m PP here, I know a few other families had similar sudden breakdowns and kid had PANDAS. Good luck, it’s really really tough to manage! |
Anonymous
| I don't know, OP, but I wanted to send love and support your way. What you describe sounds really hard. Hang in there. |
Anonymous
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Abuse
Classic signs Sorry OP but if you are telling the truth not a troll mental illness onset like you described is not a trajectory. So something else is going on. |
Anonymous
OP here. Not a troll. If anything she is abusive to her parents. Thanks for helping. |
Anonymous
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wtf OP how about some empathy??
you listed multiple possible reasons: school closures, pubertyX OCD, autism. Your daughter is not a “criminal” or “schizophrenic.” the person who needs therapy is you. please seek out a reputable parenting therapist. |
Anonymous
this wasn’t a “sudden breakdown.” OP is clearly describing the changes that came with puberty and covid school closures, possibly complicated by OCD or autism, and definitely complicated by piss-poor parenting. |
Anonymous
| The sudden onset, along with the OCD symptoms and “completely different personality” sounds so much like PANDAS to me. |
Anonymous
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Another perspective on therapy... I would put her back into therapy. I would tell the therapist the exact lies that she's telling and see if that can be addressed in therapy. There are going to be a lot of boring, no progress sessions. But the child should know that her BS is being called out. No one believes the lies. She should not discontinue therapy until/unless she starts being real.
I would tell her that she doesn't have to talk to you, but she has to talk to someone. She doesn't have to like that therapist... but she has to continue with someone. I'm sorry but it sounds like your child is in crisis and is lashing out in destructive ways. |
Anonymous
except OP does not actually describe “sudden onsent.” And there are factors that are far more likely than PANDAS. |
Anonymous
OP already randomly cancelled therapy because she refused to let her child have privacy (listening through the walls, demanding to be in sessions). OP is the problem here. Child likely has autism or OCD, but in the family dynamic, is the “identified patient.” |
Anonymous
OP here, if it started in February 2020 (actually after she was ill with something for about 2 months that caused severe stomach pain that we had many many doctor appointments and even imaging for), how are going to treat that three years later? She just had a course of Augmentin for a sinus infection about a month and 1/2 ago. No cahnge in behavior that i can recall. |
Anonymous
dp. You're under a lot of stress so hopefully most will take that into consideration but also please know you are coming across as very defensive to someone who wasn't accusing you and was very sympathetic while also trying to provide an answer to the question you asked -what does this behavior sound like- they are trying to tell you what this could be, because the behavior you're describing is often associated with individuals who have suffered sexual abuse. It wasn't an accusation against you or your husband. Sadly there are any number of places abuse could occur: school, sports, church, etc. This responder was just gently trying to point out an obvious possibility. |
Anonymous
Feb 2020 is the middle of covid school closures OP. Was she in school? |