HS Party with Alcohol... Death

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the Murk's are gearing up for a civil suit -- blaming others and taking no responsibility of their son's actions.

Sounds like the normal pain and grief and anger after losing your child. Give them a break.

I'd sue the pants off the arrogant shyster if he did that to my kid.

Yes, as you've said. Ad nauseam. Others realize the mistakes made by the boys who drank and got in the car with a driver who drank. And other posters understand, or at least are willing to discuss, the current applicable laws and whether they fall short.

To add: the Murks statement is much different in tone and finger-pointing than the blog posts that were humble and introspective. I wouldn't be surprised if the blog posts are gone by tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the Murk's are gearing up for a civil suit -- blaming others and taking no responsibility of their son's actions.

Sounds like the normal pain and grief and anger after losing your child. Give them a break.

I'd sue the pants off the arrogant shyster if he did that to my kid.

Yes, as you've said. Ad nauseam. Others realize the mistakes made by the boys who drank and got in the car with a driver who drank. And other posters understand, or at least are willing to discuss, the current applicable laws and whether they fall short.

That law would put the parent party host in jail?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the Murk's are gearing up for a civil suit -- blaming others and taking no responsibility of their son's actions.

Sounds like the normal pain and grief and anger after losing your child. Give them a break.

I'd sue the pants off the arrogant shyster if he did that to my kid.

Yes, as you've said. Ad nauseam. Others realize the mistakes made by the boys who drank and got in the car with a driver who drank. And other posters understand, or at least are willing to discuss, the current applicable laws and whether they fall short.

That law would put the parent party host in jail?

*What law would put the parent party host in jail?

[Anonymous]

In 75 pages I haven't seen any cite of a law that could lead to jail time for a parent party host (although thread-director said that the Bethesda Mag article was the definitive source for the applicable law). And the Murks statement said no law was in place that could send the parent party host to jail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 75 pages I haven't seen any cite of a law that could lead to jail time for a parent party host (although thread-director said that the Bethesda Mag article was the definitive source for the applicable law). And the Murks statement said no law was in place that could send the parent party host to jail.

I don't think he can get jail time, just substantive fines. And he could potentially get sued by the parents of the victims.

But if you want jail time for those who provide alcohol to minors, write to your State Senator or Delegate and let them know. The Governor, too.

[Anonymous]

It makes absolutely no difference if Alex was pass-out drunk. He didn't drive. He didn't speed. He wasn't high and drunk while doing those things. His drinking points to him being impaired in his decision making about getting into the car with someone who was drunk. His drinking that night did not kill him, but someone else's did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am a mom who had a graduation party for my own child at my house, just days before the crash. And frankly, while there was no alcohol involved, I was extremely stressed because with teens you never know if they managed to get their hands on it somewhere else.

I greeted everyone, was constantly circulating with food and drinks, and keeping a discreet eye on everyone. I sat with a book in a quite secluded corner of the house and as each kid left, I went to give them a quick hug and wish them the best for college. It was a way to check their breath for alcohol. Yes, it is sneaky and paranoid. But I also know that these kids are not experienced drivers, so combine that with darkness of night, distraction of friends in their car and alcohol and the risks are immense.

I was not even sure if these kids went straight home after the party at my house. I could not relax completely until the next day. DH told me that I need to let go and I remember telling him that I do not want anyone's kid to be in a crash after they left my house. When I heard the news about the fatal crash, it was heartbreaking, because this happens with alarming regularity each year, does it not?

Parents not allowing underage drinking is just one of the measures, but there has to be something more that we can do. Maybe, bring back driver's ed in school? Maybe use a taxi service when they are at a party? Maybe lobby for a device for teens that will not allow the car to start if everyone is not wearing seatbelts? Because it is not one thing, it is a combination of things.

It comes down to not thinking 16 and 18yr olds should be binge drinking as normal and parents turning blind eye about it. No amount of other coddling efforts on others will help until society changes as a whole.

I agree.

We have to understand that teens think they are invincible and that they will be unharmed. Their brain is still developing and changing and like a toddler they cannot comprehend the consequences of their action. Besides, they usually have a false sense of security and invincibility because they are in familiar surroundings and they feel they are home-free because they are done with college admissions etc. They are in high spirits and have this sense of freedom because they are going away to college - and their idea of celebrating often is doing those things that they were not allowed to.

I think as parents we need to stick to the rules that make them safe. Even if they think that we are strict and the parties we allow are lame. The time between 2nd semester and leaving for college is fraught with danger for seniors. And this is not limited to any one group of students. Everyone seems to be in the same frame of mind - even the studious kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes absolutely no difference if Alex was pass-out drunk. He didn't drive. He didn't speed. He wasn't high and drunk while doing those things. His drinking points to him being impaired in his decision making about getting into the car with someone who was drunk. His drinking that night did not kill him, but someone else's did.

It does to a certain degree, because Maryland is a contributory negligence state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

It comes down to not thinking 16 and 18yr olds should be binge drinking as normal and parents turning blind eye about it. No amount of other coddling efforts on others will help until society changes as a whole.

You call it "coddling", I call it harm reduction.

Incidentally, binge drinking is much worse in the UK, yet there's much less teenage drunk driving, compared to the US, because very few teenagers drive, compared to the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It makes absolutely no difference if Alex was pass-out drunk. He didn't drive. He didn't speed. He wasn't high and drunk while doing those things. His drinking points to him being impaired in his decision making about getting into the car with someone who was drunk. His drinking that night did not kill him, but someone else's did.

It matters tons! Thinking like this is actually dangerous. People must take responsibility and be held accountable for their own actions. No one forced those kids to drink and no one forced them to hitch a ride with a drunk driver. Come on. Own it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It matters tons! Thinking like this is actually dangerous. People must take responsibility and be held accountable for their own actions. No one forced those kids to drink and no one forced them to hitch a ride with a drunk driver. Come on. Own it.

Not so easy to hold him accountable now, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It makes absolutely no difference if Alex was pass-out drunk. He didn't drive. He didn't speed. He wasn't high and drunk while doing those things. His drinking points to him being impaired in his decision making about getting into the car with someone who was drunk. His drinking that night did not kill him, but someone else's did.

It matters tons! Thinking like this is actually dangerous. People must take responsibility and be held accountable for their own actions. No one forced those kids to drink and no one forced them to hitch a ride with a drunk driver. Come on. Own it.

If alpha-male Sam and his party pal Calvin wasn't there goading him on Sam might not have driven and they might alive today. There is a lot more to all of this, but this is how it will play out in court because the sound bites from the statements will be heard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Respect the dead kids please.

Which dead kids?

This crash in Silver Spring in 2011?
http://www.wusa9.com/news/article/197734/435/Desaleen-James-Shares-Her-Story-and-Video-from-the-Drunk-Driving-Crash-That-killed-Her-Two-Friends

Or these kids from 2012?
http://patch.com/maryland/bethesda-chevychase/vigil-held-for-young-man-woman-killed-on-jones-bridge-road

Or this kid from 2014?
http://www.wusa9.com/story/news/local/2014/08/30/3-people-injured-in-md-accident/14862269/

Or these kids from 1995?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/local/longterm/library/magazine/drinking060798.htm

Let's talk about alcohol prevention and teen driving.

And about the parents who supply the alcohol.

And who look the other way when kids are drinking in their homes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The aspect of complicity in terms of the teens who were drinking themselves and made the decision not to wear their seat belts would come into play with regard to the disposition of the case of the teen driving the car.

However, the case of the adult parents - especially the one or both if there who was in the house at the time of the party - is what needs to be focused on in a wider sense of the community. From the testimony of the teens present, the Dad had visual knowledge of liquor coming in and also personal one-on-one conversation with at least one teen about the beer. He should be held accountable in a court of law. Also there should be a different "magnitude of sanction" if hosting an underage drinking party results in the loss of life for any adult in a household. Since the girl hosting the party was in her parents home, I would focus less on her and more on them in terms of criminal negligence. This is the only way to try and get more of a sense of accountability in the wider community - threat of prosecution.

I can only imagine the pressures being put on the Montgomery County police in this case, and I do commend them for doing their due diligence. Now let's see how the local district attorney's office follows through.....

Mark Anderson, is he heading this? What's his record with these issues? Is there one iota of hope for justice?

What's the scoop on this man and his history on alcohol issues in the courtroom? Everything may boil down to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents can pat themselves on the back for the petition. But consider a response from a Wooten student:

I keep thinking about this comment. If I were not to post it, I would be holding these agitating feelings in, in addition to my immense sadness from the accident. So here it goes. This dream world that you write about is quite shallow. You are writing about one of your students parents, so how could you publicize such hatred towards the family of one of your many children because you claim your students are your children. Family does not make things worse for their own family, but they do support them no matter the mistake. Mistake may be a too easily dismissible word, but there is no other word to describe the situation. As a friend to the kids who died and a person on the inside, I know where I am coming from. You are not making this healing process any better with these messages, not only is it too soon, but Wootton students stand together, so most would not agree with your harshness towards a peer's parent even though their parent may agree with you. Therefore, you are creating more division between youth and guardians, the exact opposite of what is needed. A parent allowed or didn't allow alcohol in their house, either way alcohol was present. But with the history of the people at this high school binge drinking, if a house were not accessible with parents present, then a house would be found where the parents may be out of town, and I know this because, once again, I am on the inside. It is not about who did this because blaming people does not change anything, but it is about voicing the right message. The message to keep your own kids on track so they don't make bad decisions because natural selection is unfortunately how our world works. This may be harsh, but it is the truth.

Teens will find and drink alcohol.

So we should facilitate that?