Reply to HS Party with Alcohol... Death

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I am a mom who had a graduation party for my own child at my house,  just days before the crash. And frankly, while there was no alcohol involved, I was extremely stressed because with teens you never know if they managed to get their hands on it somewhere else.

I greeted everyone, was constantly circulating with food and drinks, and keeping a discreet eye on everyone. I sat with a book in a quite secluded corner of the house and as each kid left, I went to give them a quick hug and wish them the best for college. It was a way to check their breath for alcohol.  Yes, it is sneaky and paranoid. But I also know that these kids are not experienced drivers, so combine that with darkness of night, distraction of friends in their car and alcohol and the risks are immense.

I was not even sure if these kids went straight home after the party at my house. I could not relax completely until the next day.  DH told me that I need to let go and I remember telling him that I do not want anyone's kid to be in a crash after they left my house. When I heard the news about the fatal crash, it was heartbreaking, because this happens with alarming regularity each year, does it not?

Parents not allowing underage drinking is just one of the measures, but there has to be something more that we can do. Maybe, bring back driver's ed in school? Maybe use a taxi service when they are at a party? Maybe lobby for a device for teens that will not allow the car to start if everyone is not wearing seatbelts? Because it is not one thing, it is a combination of things.

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It comes down to not thinking 16 and 18yr olds should be binge drinking as normal and parents turning blind eye about it.  No amount of other coddling efforts on others will help until society changes as a whole. [/quote]

I agree.

We have to understand that teens think they are invincible and that they will be unharmed. Their brain is still developing and changing and like a toddler they cannot comprehend the consequences of their action.  Besides, they usually have a false sense of security and invincibility because they are in familiar surroundings and they feel they are home-free because they are done with college admissions etc.   They are in high spirits and have this sense of freedom because they are going away to college - and their idea of celebrating often is doing those things that they were not allowed to.

I think as parents we need to stick to the rules that make them safe. Even if they think that we are strict and the parties we allow are lame. The time between 2nd semester and leaving for college is fraught with danger for seniors.  And this is not limited to any one group of students. Everyone seems to be in the same frame of mind - even the studious kids!

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