Second marriage finances

[Anonymous]

If you’re in a second marriage how do you handle finances and wills?

[Anonymous]

No kids from first. Everything joint.

[Anonymous]

It depends on your parenting situation and your circumstances with your exes. It's very hard to reach a consensus on what is "fair" that everyone is okay with. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend it.

[Anonymous]

We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

Settle? Huh? How is this settling?

[Anonymous]

Everything was separate till child support was over/youngest turned 18 as mom kept filling for more child support based on my income HHI but refused to include her AP income in her calculations and he paid the rent/expenses.

When we had kids, post child support, everything co-mingled. Everything earned/savings, etc. was earned by post youngest turning 18 so it will go to our kids.

[Anonymous]

No idea how to navigate this but it’s one of the things that keeps me from getting too involved with someone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.

I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.

I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.

Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.

I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.

Seems sad that your life can never be larger than what you do by yourself. What's the point of partnership when it's not a real partner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everything was separate till child support was over/youngest turned 18 as mom kept filling for more child support based on my income HHI but refused to include her AP income in her calculations and he paid the rent/expenses.

When we had kids, post child support, everything co-mingled. Everything earned/savings, etc. was earned by post youngest turning 18 so it will go to our kids.

So you disinherit his older children?

[Anonymous]

She is much, much younger than me.

Finances are co-mingled. She is beneficiary of insurance policies and pension survivorship. 50 percent of premarital assets go to my children, all other assets go to her.

[Anonymous]

Everything joint. I have 3 kids from first marriage. DH has none. I have life insurance with my kids as beneficiaries that will go into a trust with my parents managing the trust. Once my kids are out of college, I’ll reevaluate the life insurance.

For DH and me, all our income, savings, investments, and real estate are in both our names. When either of us dies, it all goes to the other.

I don’t find this to be complicated at all and it seems weird to not partner because of finances. DH and I both make relatively similar salaries and come to the relationship with similar assets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't commingle any accounts and never will.

We each own a home we bought before we were married.

Wills haven't changed (all to my kids) but I did put him as the beneficiary to one of my savings.

What a shitty thing to have to settle this much for companionship.

I will regret my first marriage as long as I live, it leads to garbage like this and what is the point.

What are you even going on about? The PP is very smart to not blend. If both parties have means and kids there's no reason they can't preserve their own estates for their children.

I'm the same, my assets are in a trust. My (second) husband has his own assets. I have no interest in them. And he has no interest in mine. We are both self sufficient but we also don't nickle and dime things like meals out. We split who pays but no one is keeping score. It works for us.

Well part of my dream for a family is building a joint lifestyle and legacy, which is pretty much impossible in this situation.

I am the PP who posted this original post you are responding to.

We both came into the marriage with older teens and young adults - we both have 3 kids. We have built a wonderful life together. As for a legacy, we both want our assets going to our children and we don't need each other's assets should one of us die. I don't want his kids' money nor he mine. It is actually very freeing.

Now, if we were to create some sort of successful financial project together then I suppose that would be a 'legacy' as you are describing, but we have no desire to do that. And if we did, those assets would be split 6 ways between the kids and/or be given away.

I don't feel any of this is 'settling' for 'companionship'. In fact, I feel very empowered and free in this relationship.