Mom recently died, DH is planning his mom's bday party

[Anonymous]

My mother died recently and my MIL's upcoming party is causing major envy for me. I'm having childish emotions: Why is she here and my mom is not? DH and his sister are throwing her a lavish bash that's involving plenty of planning, and I just want no part of it. I know this probably makes me a horrible human being.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see why you should have to be involved in the planning of this

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t make you horrible. Anger is literally a stage of grief. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom.

It’s good that you recognize that—while grief (and anger as a part of grief)—is an appropriate place for you to be right now, life does go on and there is nothing wrong with DH and his sister celebrating their mother’s birthday.

This is hard, you’re not “horrible,” but the best person to talk to about your feelings would be a therapist or a trusted friend, not your husband or his sister.

[Anonymous]

So talk to your husband. Tell him to do all the planning while he is at work. Tell him it’s painful to hear about it. Plan a trip away that weekend for yourself and don’t attend.

I’m sorry your mom died. Peace to you.

[Anonymous]

Wait, DH is expecting you to plan? Why?

In that case, tell him that this process has been painful so far and that you will attend the party, but you will not be planning it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see why you should have to be involved in the planning of this

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So talk to your husband. Tell him to do all the planning while he is at work. Tell him it’s painful to hear about it. Plan a trip away that weekend for yourself and don’t attend.

I’m sorry your mom died. Peace to you.

+1

Time for a girls weekend during the scheduled time, OP. I am so sorry, I know what you are going through, people so insensitive sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I can totally understand OP’s feelings and her not wanting to pan the party, but I do hope she can attend for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can totally understand OP’s feelings and her not wanting to pan the party, but I do hope she can attend for an hour.

Why is important that she attend a birthday party for an hour? Please explain.

[Anonymous]

I understand this is difficult, but you should attend. How long ago did your die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand this is difficult, but you should attend. How long ago did your die?

Again, why does someone have to attend a birthday party? Why “should” she attend? Is the MIL dying? Is there something happening at this party that OP will regret missing? I don’t get the need for the obligatory presence at a gathering with cake and presents.

[Anonymous]

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Totally agree she should attend.

Very sorry for your loss, OP, but your mother wouldn’t want you avoiding life’s celebrations. Every day is a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Grow up.

Um, oh my.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree she should attend.

Very sorry for your loss, OP, but your mother wouldn’t want you avoiding life’s celebrations. Every day is a gift.

DCUM’s very own psychic has arrived.