34 year old son is lost

[Anonymous]

He was given an excellent education and he cannot seem to find his footing professionally or personally. He got married at 26 and has a tumultuous marriage where they have almost divorced a bunch of times. Professionally he is floundering and was fired from his last job. Now he says he never will work corporate again and wants to be a welder or work with his hands. We do not know what to do to help him.

[Anonymous]

Pay for him to go to welding or plumbing school. He will make a ridiculous amount of money.

[Anonymous]

Nothing. He’s an adult. Let him live his own life.

[Anonymous]

Has he asked for help? If not, you don’t offer it. Instead you provide love and refrain from judging him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has he asked for help? If not, you don’t offer it. Instead you provide love and refrain from judging him.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He was given an excellent education and he cannot seem to find his footing professionally or personally. He got married at 26 and has a tumultuous marriage where they have almost divorced a bunch of times. Professionally he is floundering and was fired from his last job. Now he says he never will work corporate again and wants to be a welder or work with his hands. We do not know what to do to help him.

Maturity issues ?

[Anonymous]

Your tacit disapproval is not helping him. Love him as he is; be there for him if he gets divorced; if he asks for help with paying to learn a trade, consider it, but maybe a better use of funds would be a nice family vacation.

[Anonymous]

Support him his desire to do a trade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Support him his desire to do a trade.

Support his smart idea. Hvac might be better. It pays huge.

[Anonymous]

Electrician: everything is going from fossil fuels to electricity.

[Anonymous]

I understand why you would be frustrated, OP. All that $$ poured into college education, and he is unhappy in the corporate world.

I think this really goes to show that not everyone is meant for the corporate culture. I hate it myself, but I don't have any other skillset, and I'm 52.

I would support trade school, like PPs have mentioned. I honestly think that we have so many educated people around here who don't know how to deal with home issues, like plumbing, electrical, hvac, that trades people like this can charge a lot to the educated, UMC/wealthy folks around here. I wouldn't worry about him being able to support himself with a trade job.

However, I would be more concerned about his life choices -- the tumultuous relationship with the wife. He does seem like he's a bit immature.

Did you push him to college or was that his choice? Were you maybe a bit too handson parenting when he was younger?

[Anonymous]

My philosophy is that you will never regret having a college degree but you might regret not having one. So he's good with his degree.

So far as the trades, encourage him to research them and to decide what he wants to try and to acquire the proper skills.

He can always go back to a corporate job in the future.

[Anonymous]

Life happens. He got married young and it didn’t work out. Nothing new. If money is not an issue help him with a new career. If money is a problem then obviously just be a cheerleader.

[Anonymous]

And if you don’t have adult children, stay out of the conversation.

[Anonymous]

My family contains a single millionaire. Not the lawyers or health care professionals. My plumber uncle who owned his own business for years before retiring at 55.

He tried it your way and hated it/failed. Now let him do it his way.