Does anyone regret leaving the work force?

[Anonymous]

I have 2 kids (ages 4 and 8) and a big job that has little flexibility and is very demanding. I have worked my whole life to get to where I am, but have been increasingly unhappy lately and am thinking about leaving. Before COVID I didn’t know any better, but now I feel like I want more time with my family and less stress. During COVID my company became really flexible by necessity for working parents dealing with kids at home, but the pendulum has swung back in the other direction and I would say things are worse than before. While I can work remote, the nature of what I do means that I am on video calls nearly all day from 9/10am to 5/6pm, and then I often need to go back online at night for an hour or two to finish up actual work. The final straw is that I am supposed to be on vacation the whole week of Thanksgiving by my boss has scheduled a last minute in person meeting for that week that I have to attend.

I am curious to hear from others who have left the workforce if they regret it. Once I am out I will not be able to get back in in the capacity that I current work. Could I find something else, sure, but it would be a HUGE pay cut and maybe not even worth my time. My DH wants me to quit since I am so stressed and unhappy.

But am I crazy to leave when I am on the cusp of both kids being in school full time next fall?

[Anonymous]

Can you outsource more to make things easier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 kids (ages 4 and 8) and a big job that has little flexibility and is very demanding. I have worked my whole life to get to where I am, but have been increasingly unhappy lately and am thinking about leaving. Before COVID I didn’t know any better, but now I feel like I want more time with my family and less stress. During COVID my company became really flexible by necessity for working parents dealing with kids at home, but the pendulum has swung back in the other direction and I would say things are worse than before. While I can work remote, the nature of what I do means that I am on video calls nearly all day from 9/10am to 5/6pm, and then I often need to go back online at night for an hour or two to finish up actual work. The final straw is that I am supposed to be on vacation the whole week of Thanksgiving by my boss has scheduled a last minute in person meeting for that week that I have to attend.

I am curious to hear from others who have left the workforce if they regret it. Once I am out I will not be able to get back in in the capacity that I current work. Could I find something else, sure, but it would be a HUGE pay cut and maybe not even worth my time. My DH wants me to quit since I am so stressed and unhappy.

But am I crazy to leave when I am on the cusp of both kids being in school full time next fall?

How much does the nebbish DH make?

[Anonymous]

No, I’m happy I left. It was the right choice for me and my family.

[Anonymous]

What happens if you don't go to this meeting Thanksgiving week. If you set boundaries will they fire you? Would that be so bad if you're thinking of quitting?

I would look for another job. Are you sure you can't find something comparable that gives you the flexibility you want?

[Anonymous]

I left the workforce when my oldest kids were toddlers/preschoolers and then went back to work in a different industry part time when they were middle/high school. Regret nothing.

[Anonymous]

I regret it. Was also unhappy. I feel happier now but lost. I am confident that I'll figure things out eventually. I think it's good, when possible, to figure out the next step before quitting.

[Anonymous]

If you are valuable enough to have a "big job" you are valuable enough that they will keep you part time rather than lose you. I would try that route rather than quit.

[Anonymous]

I also have a very demanding job, 9 to 6pm endless conf calls (on a boring one right now), tons of travel and 2 kids 8 and 10. I would never leave the work force even though i fantasize about it sometimes.


First: set your boundaries ! if you are at the point where you are considering leaving the work force, then start by telling your boss you cant do the thansgiving in person meeting. This is a very amerircan thing that i think is crazy, being available all the time doesnt make you more productive. we need reset times.

Back to leaving the work force: it is so hard to find balance and a sense of identity and purpose as a SAHM. Not dissing SAHMs for a second, it is very hard work, but so hard to find happiness and purpose for certain personality types as SAHM. I have one in my neighborhood and group of friends and she is really going through a major id crisis

[Anonymous]

19 years out and no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are valuable enough to have a "big job" you are valuable enough that they will keep you part time rather than lose you. I would try that route rather than quit.

Or another place would be happy to have you as well. Opportunities exist out there.

[Anonymous]

No but I have been in and out and my peers who never left are partners in BigLaw and I work in higher ed making a lot less money. Just know that yes, indeed, your career will never recover. Just part of being a woman in America!

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

No regrets. I left the work force when my kids were in early elementary but eventually found my way into a part-time WFH job from home that I enjoy. Part of the reason why I have no regrets about 15 years after leaving though is because we have more than enough for retirement and college expenses.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like your boss is terrible. Personally I found a job with more manageable hours and reasonable expectations, and you probably could too.