Dropping out at CMU.

[Anonymous]

My DS had a very hard time academically at CMU last year; however, he decided to give it a try by coming back this year. Based on the past two weeks, he feels like it is going to get much harder and he will not make it. Today is the last day to drop classes for a full refund. He wants to take off at least this semester to decide what he will do next, possibly transfer to a state school in Virginia. He admitted that CMU is a difficult place to succeed even when he spends at least 70 hours a week to study and it is effecting his mental health.

Anyone with kids dropping out of CMU recently?

[Anonymous]

Your kid should do it if its affecting their mental health.

My kid (several years ago) was accepted at CMU and turned it down because he said all the kids looked stressed and unhappy all the time.

Obviously that isn't true for everyone, but I do think it can be intense and not every kid wants that environment. There are a lot of other places your kid can be happy and still learn a lot.

[Anonymous]

I went to CMU for engineering many years ago. At least a quarter of my class had left by the end of sophomore year - not changed majors, they left the school entirely. Many of them, including my roommate definitely stayed a semester or two too long.

[Anonymous]

what major

[Anonymous]

Is he Computer Science by any chance?

[Anonymous]

He should take a leave of absence for the rest of the semester so as to not waste money.

He can come back to CMU in the spring, perhaps changing majors. It is a very difficult schools, especially in CS or engineerings. And it's an ultra-competitive environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what major

Computer Engineering

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid should do it if its affecting their mental health.

My kid (several years ago) was accepted at CMU and turned it down because he said all the kids looked stressed and unhappy all the time.

Obviously that isn't true for everyone, but I do think it can be intense and not every kid wants that environment. There are a lot of other places your kid can be happy and still learn a lot.

Went for grad school eons ago and the undergrad population had a very different vibe than my or my husband's undergrad (both T10 schools). The students looked stressed even then and just didn't seem overly happy most of the time.

It is a great school but definately a challenging school where students put a lot of pressure on themselves.

Take a break to let your kid regroup, get in a better mental health place and then decide what is best for THEM

[Anonymous]

My experience is with dropping out of a really tough STEM school (not CMU) almost 40 years ago and subsequently graduating from a state flagship with a non-STEM degree. Your son should absolutely do this given his gut feeling that he won't make it. That's much better than trying to stick it out and then flunking out.

For your reassurance, as a parent, he will do just fine in life if he does this.

[Anonymous]

My husband left CMU many years ago under bad circumstances. He now has a Phd and is very happy and successful in his career.

[Anonymous]

You haven’t said what caused it. Was it too hard or did he not focus?

[Anonymous]

CMU is a school where they'll give you the benefit of the doubt when it comes to admissions, then you need to prove it once you're there. Two of the 4 roommates I had while at CMU dropped out.

It's rigorous, but not impossible. They provide plenty of support, but you need to learn to handle it. It's not the best for everyone.

I went to a rigorous high school, so I found the workload about the same, but others had a different experience.

If it's not right for your DS, then let him drop out and find a better match.

[Anonymous]

If possible, I'd encourage him to drop one class (his hardest and most dreaded) and focus on fewer classes. If he relied on AP classes to skip basic math or science courses, I'd encourage him to retake those classes at CMU. Shore up that foundation.

He could also consider changing majors or transferring, but I'd support him seeing if he can do it more slowly. I'd also consider having him do a co-op semester in the spring so he can get a feel for his intended career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:what major

Computer Engineering

that's one of the hardest major
it can happen.

maybe change major after a semester break?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS had a very hard time academically at CMU last year; however, he decided to give it a try by coming back this year. Based on the past two weeks, he feels like it is going to get much harder and he will not make it. Today is the last day to drop classes for a full refund. He wants to take off at least this semester to decide what he will do next, possibly transfer to a state school in Virginia. He admitted that CMU is a difficult place to succeed even when he spends at least 70 hours a week to study and it is effecting his mental health.

Anyone with kids dropping out of CMU recently?

A girl from my D's school went to CMU but transferred after freshman year. She was unhappy and wanted to drop out but managed to finish one year. Idk the exact reason but it can't be academics as she was valedictorian of a super competitive school and aced dozens of AP/IB exams. Its an anecdote but giving it a full year but knowing you aren't stuck long term can help a person be more open to the school and make more rational decision of staying or leaving.

That being said, if college is effecting mental health then its a no brainer to take a semester off. If its only imposter syndrome or social apprehension, give it some time.

I'll let kid decide as he is the one having to go through it.