Friend repeatedly declines my invites to get together. Move on?

[Anonymous]

I wasn't sure where to post this.

9 out of 10 times a friend says no thanks to my invites to get together. She's a neighborhood friend but not a close friend.
We're friendly and we've never had an obvious disagreement.
I suggest to her (mainly by text) we get together for coffee, either at my house or in a local coffee shop, and she politely says 'no thanks' for various reasons (she's occupied doing other things).

This scenario happens most of the time, however she does get together with us whenever we go out for dinner as a group with mutual neighborhood friends, which happens two or three times a year.
Just not on a 1:1 basis with me ..

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she's not interested. I would definitely stop with the invites.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I'd definitely move on. You have finite time and energy for friendships . . . invest it in someone who reciprocates.

[Anonymous]

I would move on. Maybe she just prefers meeting in groups. I would give her an open invitation to let you know if she ever wants to grab coffee and leave it there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would move on. Maybe she just prefers meeting in groups. I would give her an open invitation to let you know if she ever wants to grab coffee and leave it there.

That's exactly what I did today. I gave her an open invitation to grab coffee. The ball is in her court.

She also never proposes an alternative date when she's busy on the date I had proposed, so I guess she's not interested.

[Anonymous]

I'd move on after the 2nd time she said no to your invitation yet never bothered to initiate anything. It's too one sided.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would move on. Maybe she just prefers meeting in groups. I would give her an open invitation to let you know if she ever wants to grab coffee and leave it there.

That's exactly what I did today. I gave her an open invitation to grab coffee. The ball is in her court.

She also never proposes an alternative date when she's busy on the date I had proposed, so I guess she's not interested.

You have your answer.

[Anonymous]

Are you both SAHMs? I have no time for coffee dates and would be puzzled if someone kept asking. Group outings once in a while are in a different category.

[Anonymous]

Definitely move on and stop inviting her to one on one activities. People make time for who they want to make time for.

[Anonymous]

If you invited her 10 times, you got a problem. Leave her alone.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, she's definitely not interested in being closer friends. I'm kind of that way with neighbors. If you're within line-of-sight, that's too close for me. A street over, sure. But it can get uncomfortable if you're living too close to a friend. Point being, it's likely not personal that she wants to keep it that way.

[Anonymous]

9 out of 10 times she declines and you feel the need to ask this? How can this even be a question?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you both SAHMs? I have no time for coffee dates and would be puzzled if someone kept asking. Group outings once in a while are in a different category.

No, not SAHMs. We both work but childcare is not an issue as we're both older. I'm early 50s, she's early 60s. Her adult kids have flown the nest.
I always propose a date on a weekend, when we're both free.

[Anonymous]

Do you talk too much? Are you gossipy? Involved in a MLM? Trying to engineer kid friendships via your mom friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you talk too much? Are you gossipy? Involved in a MLM? Trying to engineer kid friendships via your mom friends?

Nothing to do with kids. We are all older, including our other neighborhood friends so no school age kids here. Some of our mutual friends are grandparents.

No, I'm not gossipy.
Yes, I like talking but not non stop.